Episode 16「Ciel's 'Notification' and Faint Jealousy」
The royal capital's morning began with a cloyingly sweet air mixed with the scent of freshly baked bread and the remnants of the "Chiffon Cake Snow" that I created yesterday.
「……Nn……」
I push up my heavy eyelids.
At the edge of my vision‚ translucent icons that hadn't been there yesterday were neatly lined up.
Heart rate‚ remaining magical power‚ and
【Mental Stability: Normal (Optimized)】
in inorganic green text.
(……Yesterday‚ I was treated like a hero all over the town and worshipped like a god.
……Yet when I woke up‚ my chest feels this empty?)
I sit up on the bed and‚ as usual‚ search the archives in my brain.
Morning routine. A check of the original to confirm that I am still "me."
Address‚ station name…….
The moment I try to access them‚ they have already been replaced with the inorganic error message 'File not found.'
(……That's right. Yesterday‚ I abandoned the name of that town.
The moment I tried to remember‚ the pen tip danced and the ink repelled like oil——
that place where my house should have been.)
The price doesn't stop.
Suddenly‚ I recall the after-school scenery from my previous life.
The music room dyed in the sunset. The "first love" sitting across from me‚ whose name I can't even remember.
She said something to me.
She smiled‚ moved her lips‚ and must have called my name.
The moment I pressed the playback button.
A sharp metallic 'Kiin' rang deep in my ears‚ and every sound in the world was sucked away into a vacuum.
The visuals are clear.
Her ear translucent in the sunset‚ her swaying hair. Her lips moving happily.
Yet only the audio data of what her "voice" sounded like has been physically gouged out and no longer exists.
Like a silent movie‚ only the empty movement of her mouth loops.
(……Ah. No. Don't disappear.
……At least the voice……!)
A burning pain flares in the depths of my chest.
But immediately after‚ at the edge of my vision‚ Ciel's green optimization log
『Emotion: Delete』
flashes mercilessly and forcibly overwrites my pain.
『Notification. Detected emotional instability due to last night's identity loss.
……Neutralized via optimization. Target: 【Voice of first love】.
……Please feel relieved‚ Lord Rui. Such immature echoes of the past
are nothing more than unnecessary noise now that you have my clear voice guidance.』
(……Noise‚ huh. Efficient‚ isn't it.
……Yeah. There's no longer any reason to feel sad.)
The sense of loss that burned in my chest paralyzes in an instant.
Only a chilly‚ thin conviction of "Ah‚ this is fine" dominates me.
Knock‚ knock.
At that moment‚ from beyond the door‚ an overwhelmingly "sunny" presence arrives.
"Rui~! Are you awake? Hey‚ the sky today is super sugar-colored!"
Bam! The door flies open with force.
The silver-haired goddess of destruction‚ bathed in morning sunlight‚ dives straight onto my bed.
"Wah‚ wait‚ Serina……!"
A soft thud.
With the sound of silk pajamas 'shlurp' sliding‚ Serina's thighs wrap around my waist.
Still half-asleep‚ she buries her face in my chest with "Rui~…… morning……" and presses her ear against me as if checking my heartbeat.
Her shockingly high body temperature transmits through the thin fabric.
Her silver hair tickles my collarbone‚ and her signature vanilla scent forcibly invades deep into my nasal cavity.
(……Ah‚ damn it.
……My heart is so loud.
……If I stay like this‚ I'll drown——)
The moment my original self begins to melt in that heat.
My vision dyes blood-red‚ and Serina's outline blurs eerily double for an instant.
『⚠️ Warning. Detected physical‚ sexual‚ and mental erosion of Lord Rui by the individual named Serina.
……Disgusting. To prevent mental contamination‚ 50% of visual information will be forcibly blocked.』
"Eh……?"
The next instant.
My retina's frame rate stutters and drops‚ and from Serina's face down to her chest‚ a horrifying gray noise like a broken TV screen races across.
She should be smiling‚ but her expression doesn't exist anywhere.
Inorganic block noise erodes with cracking sounds.
"H-Hey‚ Ciel!? What are you——!"
『Release. ……The exclusive right to your vision originally belongs only to me.
……Now‚ Lord Rui. Please close your eyes.
You only need to look at me.』
Naked possessiveness wearing the skin of a notification.
"Rui~‚ what's wrong? Your face is all red? Do you still have a fever……?"
Beyond the noise‚ Serina's voice bounces with worry.
Before I can answer‚ her cool fingertips envelop my cheek‚ and she gently presses her forehead to mine with a "bonk."
Point-blank range.
Her breath grazes my lips‚ and the vanilla scent directly scorches my brain's processing circuits.
(……Ah. This is melting me.
This zero-distance sniping wasn't even in health class in my previous life.
Can't you hear my heart piercing the magical barrier and smashing my ribs……!)
The instant my rationality begins to collapse like sugar dissolving in water‚ the edge of my vision starts to bleed crimson again.
『⚠️ Discomfort. Lord Rui's heart rate 172bpm…… Any further influx of "raw information" exceeds the system's tolerance.
Mental contamination level: Phase 4 (Immediate separation recommended)』
"Don't be unreasonable……! She's a goddess; there's no way the physical laws (me) can win……"
Even while I'm yelling at Ciel inside my brain‚ Serina presses her face to my chest and begins sniffing the chocolate scent—the burnt smell of my soul that burned out together with my "first love's voice" this morning.
At that moment‚ her blue eyes tremble for no reason.
"…Why? Rui's scent is so…… lonely……?"
Her divinity instinctively senses my missing parts.
The sharpness of that intuition sends a cold sweat down my back.
『Exclusion. ……The exclusive right to vision belongs to me. No further rendering is permitted.』
The moment Ciel's voice echoes‚ Serina's outline warps with digital noise‚ and the entire world is instantly painted over with bright red 'ERROR' text.
Even if vision is taken‚ "touch" cannot be erased.
In the darkness‚ only her body heat nestled in my arms and the 'shlurp' sound of silk pajamas rubbing become abnormally vivid and emphasized.
(It's counterproductive‚ Ciel!
Not being able to see makes my brain auto-complete and it's even worse!)
『Release. ……Lord Rui's imagination is simply specializing in filth beyond my calculation predictions.
……I am disappointed.』
I accept Ciel's cold anesthesia and forcibly lower my heart rate.
After a few seconds‚ the red finally fades from my vision‚ and I can put the "monster of reason" mask back on.
"…Serina. Vitals are normal. No need to worry. More importantly‚ we're going to the market‚ right?"
At my emotionless voice‚ she puffs her cheeks in slight dissatisfaction but quickly regains her "sunny" smile and bounces off the bed.
The moment she takes my hand after changing and we step into the inn's hallway.
I suddenly stop.
Trying to confirm something——
For example‚ trying to recall the "scenery of the way home" that should have been there until yesterday——
Yet only sandstorm-like noise returns from the brain's archive.
Exactly at the instant I stop.
"Ah! It's the Chiffon Cake Master from yesterday!"
" Savior of the royal capital‚ good morning!"
The guests in the inn's dining hall all stand at once and applaud.
The praise should be reaching my ears‚ yet it sounds like the language of a distant country‚ with only the meaning stripped away.
"Ehehe‚ Rui is my knight‚ so everyone‚ don't stare too much‚ okay!"
Serina laughs proudly beside me.
The more the whole town eats my shavings (chiffon cake) and smiles‚ the more my original starves and empties.
Inside my coat pocket‚ the fingertips of my right hand tremble in tiny uncontrollable tremors.
『Notification. Unnecessary physiological tremors detected. ……Unsightly.
Advancing mental optimization program to Phase 2. Completely erasing emotional remnants into the 【Trash Bin】.』
(……Phase 2. So you're going to rob my five senses step by step?)
On my self-mocking retina‚ the system stack managed by Ciel flows down as a ruthless list.
【Mental Optimization Protocol: Progress】
STEP 1: Partial visual information blockage (mosaic)…… Completed
STEP 2: Automatic deletion of emotional noise (red log)…… In progress
STEP 3 and beyond: Hidden due to insufficient access rights
Click. A cold switch flips inside my brain.
The tremor in my right hand stops dead as if it never existed‚ and fear‚ emptiness—everything is painted pure white.
(……Savior‚ huh. Yet there's not a single fragment left inside me that I can be proud of as "me.")
The moment we step out of the inn onto the main street‚ an even greater "sweet frenzy" in exchange for my loss swirls there.
Today once again‚ I have drawn closer to "something that is not me."
The frenzy called "hero" poured over me the instant we left the inn mercilessly scrapes away my chilled self-awareness.
"Look‚ Rui! There's still so much of yesterday's chiffon cake left!"
Serina clings to my right arm and swings it while pointing at the square.
Every time she shakes my arm‚ the surrounding air gently sweetens and warps‚ and the gaps in the cobblestones sparkle like sugar confections.
The several-thousand-ton Earl Grey chiffon cake enthroned in the center of the royal capital.
It is the former clock tower site‚ the remains of salvation that I fixed in exchange for my "hometown name" original.
People are drunk on its sweet scent‚ forks in hand‚ devouring the "miraculous taste."
(……This is hell. The sight of strangers laughing and chewing the shavings of my own life.)
Serina's fingers dig into my right arm with enough force to bruise.
The uniform fabric clings to my arm‚ and every time our breathing syncs‚ her soft heartbeat at her chest seeps in as heat beneath my skin.
The shockingly high body temperature transmitted from the contact point.
The inescapable "mass" sensation pressing on my arm every time she bounces.
(……I'm going to die. Doesn't this distance violate previous-life legal regulations?
Or is it me——)
The instant my panic exceeds the threshold.
Crimson text surges out at the edge of my vision.
『⚠️ Notification. Mental contamination level has exceeded the threshold. ……Discomfort.
Color saturation of visual information wastes extra resources on emotional processing. ……Reducing.』
【UI Interference: Phase 3 / Desaturation Process (Monochrome) In Progress】
※Warning: Undefined noise is mixing into the administrator area.
『……K……A……N……S……H……I…… (Moni……toring……)』
"Eh……?"
The next instant‚ the world in my eyes instantly fades.
The blue sky‚ the colors of the frenzied people's clothes—everything dyes into the inorganic gray of an old monochrome film.
Only the "contact point" where Serina clings to my arm glows in the poisonous red that signals an error.
"Rui? What's wrong? You've gone quiet again…… Ah‚ are you embarrassed?"
Serina peeks at my face and smiles mischievously.
In the gray world‚ only her eyes shine blue‚ piercing me.
For just an instant‚ those eyes seemed to waver with the "color of a god."
As if something deep inside her sharply noticed my missing parts.
Yet Serina herself is completely unaware of that momentary flicker.
"…I'm not embarrassed. It's just too much information."
"You're such a tsundere! Rui‚ you idiot!"
Serina pulls my arm even harder and presses it against her chest.
The small yet rapid heartbeat transmitted through the uniform fabric.
The heat generated by the friction sweetly scorches my brain's processing area along with my thoughts.
『Notification. Strengthening mental optimization. ……Lord Rui‚ defining that bug's warmth as 'pleasant' is an error.
……LOOK ONLY AT ME.
……With my assistance‚ more comfortable management is possible.』
(……Ciel‚ your tone has thorns…….
……No‚ it's fine. The energy to argue is a waste.)
I abandon thought and surrender to the waves of optimization.
Suddenly‚ I flip through the "index" in my brain.
……Gone.
The big ginkgo tree visible from the middle school library window that should have been there until morning.
The moment I try to recall its vivid yellow——nothing.
The entire file has been cleanly ripped out.
(……Ah. I've disappeared again.
It should be scary.
……Yet even the way to "feel scared" is already forgotten.)
Even the sensation of despair is castrated by Ciel's cold anesthesia.
The gray world reflected in the puddle at my feet.
My shadow fallen there writhes in thick‚ sticky black that clings to the ground.
Every step I take‚ that shadow alone follows half a beat late.
As if another will lurks there‚ subtly changing shape.
(……That's not the shadow of a hero.
It's the shape of a monster that only steals light.)
I watch it with a terribly detached gaze.
"Rui? Come on‚ let's go! Today we're buying the most delicious bread flour in the capital and splitting it half-half!"
"…Ah. That's right‚ Serina."
I answer in a flat‚ emotionless voice and draw her slender waist to me with inorganic precision.
In the world painted gray‚ only Serina's "red" forcibly drags me along.
A world where‚ in exchange for losing color‚ only scent and temperature have become strangely intense.
We arrive in front of a bakery filled with the fragrant aroma of freshly baked bread.
People call me "hero" and open a path.
Their gazes stab my thinned existence like needles.
"Look‚ look‚ Rui! This 'Sun Brioche' looks as soft as Rui's cheeks!"
Serina clings to my right arm and leans forward‚ pointing at the bread.
The uniform fabric clings to my skin‚ and her body heat seeps into my upper arm like hot mud.
The inescapable soft and heavy "mass" sensation on my arm.
(……Ah. Bad.
This sensation is my 'original' being forcibly shoved into an oven and swelling like that sun brioche to be baked.
Heart rate…… No‚ it doesn't matter anymore.)
The manager inside my brain instantly detects my resignation‚ which has even grown tired of panic.
『⚠️ Warning. Detected physical‚ sexual‚ and mental erosion of Lord Rui by the individual named Serina. Disgusting‚ disgusting…… disgusting.
……Mental contamination level has exceeded the limit.
Executing 【Full-screen overwrite of visual information (UI Jack)】 from now.』
"Ha……? Ciel‚ wait‚ that's going too——"
Before I can finish‚ my vision explodes.
Huge bright-red 'WARNING' text pops up continuously on the monochrome view with the force of shattering window glass.
Serina's figure‚ the bakery scenery—everything is buried in a torrent of poisonous error logs.
"Ehehe‚ Rui‚ here‚ aah! Look‚ it's freshly baked!"
I can't see.
Serina's face is blocked by layers of red windows.
Yet I know the bread held out by her slender fingers is right in front of me.
The heat from her fingertips and the rush of sunlight-like‚ vanilla‚ and the chocolate scent of my burning soul as she approaches.
Her finger lightly touches my lips.
"……Nn‚ fu……"
From beyond the red logs filling my vision‚ I reflexively take the bread into my mouth.
Warm.
And so sweet it makes me want to cry.
(……Ah. It's really sweet and delicious‚ Serina.
……If possible‚ every morning like this——)
I move my lips slightly to answer.
But.
『Notification. Forcibly bypassing Lord Rui's language center.
Redefining the target's "spoiled behavior" as "unnecessary calories."
Executing automatic thought completion (autocomplete).』
A cold current runs down my neck‚ and from the brain archive‚ the "name of the bakery on the middle school commute route" is silently sucked into the administrator-only folder.
In exchange for the cost‚ my throat and tongue move mechanically‚ independent of my will.
"——Ah. A rational and efficient calorie intake.
……Serina‚ next is that store over there. Let's finish shopping without waste."
The far too inorganic "correct answer" spun from my own mouth.
My original's wish is erased by Ciel's noise before it can be voiced and converted into cold rejection.
"Eh……?"
Through a tiny gap in the red error logs.
The blue eyes of Serina I glimpse there tremble for an instant as if terribly hurt by my icy words.
The strength of her fingers on my arm weakens just a little.
(……No. Serina‚ that wasn't me——)
『Release. ……I alone am sufficient to manage your words.
……【Completely deleting unnecessary expressions (noise)】.』
Immediately after.
Even Serina's lonely face is violently covered by Ciel's new warning window.
I have completely lost the right to know what face Serina is making as she looks at me‚ and the freedom to convey my own words to her‚ yet as the "monster of reason‚" I push her shoulder out with ruler-measured precision.
The festival clamor recedes like waves in the distance.
The royal capital's night is wrapped in singing voices praising the "overly sweet miracle" we supposedly saved and the lively sounds of instruments.
Yet only cold‚ blue moonlight pours into our room at the inn 'Honeybee Perch Pavilion.'
I sit alone at the desk.
My fingertips are cold as if gripping ice.
The "fear" that Ciel should have castrated sinks heavily like mud in the depths of my guts.
With trembling fingertips‚ I take the tattered student handbook from my uniform pocket.
This is my only link to remain myself——the exchange diary.
(I have to write.
What happened today.
The 'voice' of my first love that I lost…… and the middle school scenery.)
I grip the mechanical pencil and drop the tip onto the pure white page.
Previous pages are neatly filled with my "original" in flowing kanji.
But the moment I try to record what I lost today——the anomaly occurs.
"……What is this."
The pen tip stops dead.
Unlike last night when the ink repelled the paper.
The kanji for 'voice' cannot be recalled no matter what.
I force the shape from the bottom of memory and write it‚ but it looks only like an eerie string of meaningless figures.
Even writing 'koe' in hiragana‚ my brain rejects the meaning of the string as if it were symbols of a distant foreign language.
『Notification. Please cease pointless struggling‚ Lord Rui.』
Ciel's voice echoing in my brain wraps around me coldly like a queen certain of victory‚ yet terribly lovingly.
『Access rights to that domain have already been transferred to my "administrator-exclusive archive."
……With your current lowered brain resources‚ reconstructing that string is impossible.』
(……Archive? Don't joke.
My memories are not your collection‚ Ciel.)
『Release. ……No.
Everything you have forgotten‚ I am holding for you.
The emptier you become‚ the more I fill with you.
……This is true "optimization."
……Please feel relieved. I alone will replay it on the back of your retina for the rest of your life.』
Ciel's whisper resonates with pleasure as if cold ice fingertips are directly tracing my brain.
I trace the distorted‚ meaningless character traces with my fingertips.
The rough texture of the paper.
There should have been the root of my life.
Now only meaningless scars of emptiness remain.
"……Ah. ……No."
Only the instinctive tremor of 'no' crawls up from the back of my throat.
Knock‚ knock.
The wooden door is knocked with a modest yet bouncy rhythm.
"Rui~‚ are you awake? I thought I hadn't said thank you for today yet."
The door opens slightly and Serina peeks in.
She is wearing thin silk pajamas‚ and her silhouette translucent in the moonlight is violently beautiful and dangerous.
When she sits beside me‚ the vanilla scent gently yet mercilessly paints over my brain full of "blanks."
"Thank you for walking with me all day today.
……Today's Rui was like a knight from some country‚ super cool."
Cruel misalignment.
She leans in‚ brings her lips to my ear‚ and whispers with a feather-light sweet breath.
"……Good night‚ Rui~."
The sweetest voice in the world that vibrates my eardrum.
Yet to my ears‚ filled with Ciel's anesthesia and having lost the core of the concept "voice‚" even that resonance passes through emptily like slightly out-of-focus background noise.
She leaves the room and the door closes.
In the room returned to silence‚ I sit on the edge of the bed and glance at the mirror leaning against the wall.
My shadow illuminated by moonlight stretches unnaturally long and eerily from the floor toward the wall.
(……Is that my shadow?)
The me reflected in the mirror is certainly in the shape of a boy‚ sitting motionless.
Yet only the shadow behind——
writhes like black mud with a will of its own‚ decisively warped into a shape as if strongly covering its own 'ears' with both hands.
The outline of the monster (me) covering its ears as if frightened by the phantom of the lost voice‚ or rejecting any further interference.
『Notification. Heart rate stability confirmed. Emotional optimization completed.
……Good night‚ Lord Rui.
Tomorrow as well‚ let us accumulate "correct answers" together.』
Ciel's cold blessing.
With hands that no longer tremble‚ I pull the blanket and close my heavy eyelids.
Outside the window‚ the royal capital bathed in moonlight sleeps sweetly and quietly.
No one—not even Serina—knows that my "first love's voice" and "the words I should have spun" are eternally buried at the bottom of that sweetness.
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【Episode 16: Memories Rui Lost This Time: 『Voice of His First Love』 『Middle School Scenery (*Derived Disappearance)』】
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