Chapter 1: The Savior’s Burnout Syndrome
“Listen‚ Rine. Hear me well. The greatest enemy in my life isn’t the Demon King or an evil god. It’s ‘labor.’”
In a cheap tavern on the outskirts of the royal capital Aegis‚ reeking of alcohol even during the day‚ a self-proclaimed “Sword Master” named Sword began speaking while glaring at the cheap ale left at the bottom of his wooden mug.
“Labor wears down the soul. In the past‚ I ended up pacifying the world due to the foolishness of youth called a sense of justice. And what do you think happened as a result? Barely any words of thanks‚ and then a nonstop flood of ‘requests for help’ and ‘monster extermination.’ 24 hours a day‚ 365 days a year‚ forced to carry the banner of a hero‚ unable to even request paid leave… That was hell. Back then‚ my heart died.”
“Yes‚ Master. It is precisely because of that lesson that your current ‘thoroughly scummy lifestyle’ exists. I understand.”
Beside Sword stood Rine‚ the all-purpose sage‚ smiling as she carried a mountain of luggage. Though she accompanied him under the oracle of a goddess‚ in reality she served as his “personal caretaker and combat substitute‚” allowing Sword to completely abandon all labor.
“That’s right. After 1000 years‚ things have finally cooled down. Right now‚ I’m just a level 30 nobody fake hero. Swords are heavy‚ and magic potions are expensive‚ so I absolutely won’t use them. I handle things with magic alone‚ but even that’s a hassle since infusing mana is annoying‚ so I basically do nothing. This is the ‘ultimate paid leave style’ I’ve perfected.”
Sword puffed out his chest proudly‚ but he didn’t even have a single coin in his pocket. Worse still‚ he had bought expensive perfume on credit for a barmaid he fancied the previous day‚ and was now being chased by moneylenders across town.
“By the way‚ Rine. For this ‘Hero Tournament‚’ you go in disguised as a man.”
“Huh? Me? That tournament where the winner is promised marriage to the princess?”
“Yeah. It’s out of the question for me to enter. I’d stand out. And if I stand out‚ I’ll get job offers. But I do want the legendary equipment prize. If we sell it‚ we can pay off the debt‚ and maybe even treat that girl next to us to something nice. If you go in disguise and dominate‚ no one will realize who I am. I’ll stay in the shadows pretending to be a ‘great master who trained her’ and just take the best parts.”
“As expected of you‚ Master! I admire your complete reliance on others!”
With sparkling eyes‚ Rine nodded and headed toward the arena‚ following her master’s orders.
Chapter 2: Do Not Touch—A Walking Natural Disaster
After sending Rine off to the tournament‚ Sword headed alone to the city temple. It was said that an unprecedented dungeon slept beneath this city. His target was a “legendary accessory” guaranteed to delight any woman.
“Man‚ it’s inconvenient without someone to carry my stuff. Hey‚ come out. Time to work.”
Sword snapped his fingers lazily. In an instant‚ space cracked like glass‚ and ominous magical power overflowed. What appeared was a breathtakingly beautiful woman in a crimson dress—Carmilla‚ the progenitor vampire demon. One of the most powerful beings in the demon world‚ she immediately knelt upon seeing Sword.
“...D-did you call for me‚ my lord? After 1000 years… I cannot stop trembling…”
“Hey‚ Carmilla. Don’t make it so dramatic. You’ll attract attention. Starting today‚ you’re just a pack mule. Also‚ if monsters show up‚ deal with them however. I don’t want to use magic.”
“Understood. …My lord‚ has the ‘Sealing Bead’ around your neck decreased?”
Carmilla’s gaze‚ filled with fear‚ was fixed on the string of one hundred beads hanging around Sword’s neck. It was a control device meant to suppress his excessive magical power.
“Yeah‚ I accidentally broke one in my sleep yesterday. Now I can’t fine-tune things properly. If I take a strong hit and another one breaks‚ this entire temple—no‚ the whole capital—will disappear from the map. So don’t let anything touch me. That’s a warning.”
“Y-yes‚ sir! I will not allow even a single mosquito to touch you!”
Just as the two were about to enter the dungeon‚ a booming voice shouted‚ “Hey‚ wait!” One of the “Five Great Heroes” entered in the tournament‚ Vargas the Mighty‚ stood there with his entourage.
“A level 30 nobody dares step into this sacred ground? Know your place. If you don’t move‚ I’ll crush you with this greatsword.”
Sword looked thoroughly annoyed.
(Just great. What if I take his attack head-on and break another bead? Not only would the city be wiped out‚ but I’d have to deal with the ‘massive labor’ of rebuilding afterward…!)
“Don’t come closer. Stay back. If you touch me… you’ll die. (Not physically‚ but conceptually—and this whole city with you.)”
“Hah! Shut up‚ fake hero!”
Vargas charged. Sword desperately avoided him with graceful footwork‚ almost like dancing. To the onlookers‚ it looked as if “a level 30 man was casually dodging a legendary hero’s sword while yawning.”
“Carmilla‚ do it!”
“As you command.”
The moment Carmilla snapped her fingers‚ Vargas and his group were blasted into the dungeon wall by an invisible pressure and embedded there. Sword didn’t even glance at them and continued deeper inside. The surrounding adventurers froze in terror.
“Who… is that guy? He’s commanding that progenitor demon like a servant…”
Chapter 3: A Divine Oracle and the Demon King’s Second Sleep
Meanwhile‚ in the heavens‚ the archangel listened to a report from a goddess and smiled ominously.
“…Oh. That person has deliberately sealed his own power into one hundred beads and is granting his achievements to a girl and a demon. This is a silent teaching: ‘Humanity is not yet ready for my power.’ How deep and merciful his thoughts are. As the end of the world approaches‚ he is urging us toward ‘independence.’”
The archangel placed the “bar tab receipt” Sword had scribbled casually at the tavern onto the altar as a sacred relic.
Meanwhile‚ in the depths of the demon world‚ a ritual to revive the Demon King was underway—but the Demon King himself refused to come out of his coffin. “...Nope‚ impossible. Absolutely impossible. That presence just now—it’s that guy who flicked me to the edge of the demon world 1000 years ago‚ right? If I revive while he’s alive‚ this time he’ll erase the entire demon world. I’m going back to sleep for another 1000 years. Cancel the ritual.”
And so‚ simply because Sword wished “not to work‚” world peace continued to be maintained in a haphazard way.
Chapter 4: Wanted Notice and Toward the Next Shining Town
After safely obtaining the “Legendary Bracelet” at the deepest part of the dungeon‚ Sword dismissed Carmilla with‚ “Good work. Go home. I’m not paying you‚” and returned to the surface. However‚ what awaited him there was not cheers‚ but a hellish scene of chaos and screams.
“Masteeer! Please run!”
Rine‚ still disguised as a man‚ had sent all five legendary heroes to the hospital‚ was clutching the holy sword prize under her arm‚ and was running toward him with the royal knights in pursuit.
“What the hell happened!? Why are you being chased by an army!?”
“I won! But then the princess declared‚ ‘That beautiful cross-dressing noble is my husband!’ And when I revealed my identity and refused‚ she said‚ ‘Rejecting me is treason!’”
On the town bulletin board‚ a large portrait of Sword was posted. His crimes: “Mastermind of treason” and “massive unpaid food and drink bills.” Even the debt collectors were charging after him‚ swinging clubs in fury.
“Damn it‚ instead of paid leave I’m a wanted criminal!? Hey Rine‚ next town! Sell that legendary sword to some shady guild and get us travel money!”
“Understood‚ Master! As expected of you‚ your escape plan is flawless!”
The two ran full speed toward the setting sun‚ fleeing the town. Behind them echoed the shouts of the beautiful princess‚ the legendary heroes‚ and the enraged debt collectors.
“Just you wait! In the next town‚ I’m definitely going to live surrounded by cute girls without working!”
Sword’s desperate (and utterly pathetic) cry was etched into history as yet another legend of salvation. His road toward the “perfect paid leave life” was still long—and कठिन.
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