Chapter 18: "The Diary Craves Hiragana or the Observation of the Magician of Silence"
The morning in the royal capital opens with a violent vanilla scent that pierces deep into the lungs with every breath.
My retinas‚ stripped of saturation by Ciel’s desaturation process and sunk into a gray like the eyes of a dead fish. Ignoring that inorganic vision‚ the sweet aroma invading my nasal cavity was even thicker than yesterday‚ trying to directly rewrite my brain with the message “This is a peaceful miniature garden.”
（The sensation of visual and olfactory senses being dismantled separately. …It feels gross. Is this world some kind of giant oven meant to euthanize me?）
I was leaning back in a cold chair at a shadowy seat in the corner of the inn’s dining hall.
The chocolate scent clinging to the back of my throat—the lingering‚ painful death stench from burning the connection called “my family’s phone number” last night—still remained like an indelible stain. But thanks to Ciel’s “Emotion: Forced Removal‚” the “scream” of that loss was trapped beneath thick ice and couldn’t even reach me myself.
“Rui~! Look‚ look‚ today’s soup has little stars floating in it!”
Across from me‚ the silver-haired destroyer god was innocently smiling with a spoon in one hand.
I wondered how this world looked to Serina’s eyes—dyed in such delicious‚ vivid colors. The oil in the soup‚ touched by her unconscious divinity‚ arranged itself into star shapes that emitted an eerie light even in my gray vision‚ flickering in a garishly golden hue.
“…Yeah‚ that’s right. If you get too excited‚ those stars will explode and the roof will turn into wafers.”
“Mou‚ Rui‚ you always say such weird things! Oh‚ Nagi-chan‚ over here~!”
Serina waved her hand vigorously. Beyond her‚ a small girl wearing a deep hood—Nagi—approached with her knees trembling like a newborn fawn‚ holding a sheet of parchment larger than her face like a shield.
“U-um… N-nice to meet you… I-I’m Nagi‚ the apprentice recorder…”
She pulled the chair next to me several times with trembling hands before finally sitting down. The fingertips clutching the parchment were pure white‚ and she looked so frightened that a single glance seemed enough to make her disappear. She had the same aura as me—a “resident of the gloomy corner.”
But deep in those frightened eyes‚ for just a moment‚ a different‚ cold‚ ruthless light flickered.
『⚠️《Warning》. High-precision magical power scan (scan) by individual named Nagi confirmed. …Unpleasant‚ extremely unpleasant. Rui-sama‚ please do not let this individual into your field of vision too much. …It is trying to peer into your inside with bare eyes…』
（…Of course. Even if that fear isn’t fake… she can’t hide the light of “principle” in the depths of her eyes that sees through everything.）
I pushed Ciel’s vague rejection reaction to the corner of my mind and tried to calmly reach for the spoon on the table. That was when my body “betrayed” me.
（…Huh?）
I had extended my right hand‚ but my fingertips grabbed empty air. My hand couldn’t reach the place it should have. My own right hand‚ the soles of my feet pressing against the ground—everything felt like someone else’s device‚ losing the “coordinates” in space. The contact points with the world were worn down‚ and a fatal floating sensation as if the ground had turned into cotton candy.
Clatter.
My hand that sliced through the air hit the edge of the soup bowl‚ making an awkward sound.
“…Rui? What’s wrong? Your hand is shaking?”
Serina leaned forward worriedly. The vanilla scent suddenly grew thicker‚ and the moment her heat trampled my personal space‚ a dense “soul-burning chocolate scent” erupted from my pores in response.
“Sniff… Rui‚ there’s that really burnt smell again. …It’s somehow a painful scent that stings the back of my nose. My chest hurts‚ it feels tight. …Rui‚ it’s scary‚ like you might go somewhere far away.”
Serina’s face twisted with instinctive unease. Her divinity was accurately detecting the “physical pain” of my original data continuing to burn.
“…No‚ it’s nothing. I just misjudged the distance a little.”
I coldly brushed her off and gripped the spoon again.
Then‚ unconsciously reaching into my pocket for the student notebook (diary) to report yesterday’s events to Nagi as the “recorder”—at that moment‚ my fingertips felt no “friction” at all. As if the very existence of the diary was rejecting my hand‚ the coordinates where the pen tip should align kept slipping away.
“…Nagi. …About what happened… last night‚ before bed.”
To report‚ I tried to say the word “yesterday.” But. Something physically caught in the back of my throat‚ and no sound came out. In my brain I could define it perfectly‚ but the moment I tried to output it as words‚ those three characters burst like oil‚ turning into noise like a sandstorm and scattering.
“…That is‚ in other words… after the sun… sank… or rather‚ before… sleep… time‚ I guess.”
Words that were so inorganic and clumsy they made even me feel nauseous‚ almost like hiragana.
“Ahaha! Rui‚ what’s that?! You sound like you’re singing a song today. Hey Rui‚ did you turn back into a baby?”
Serina rolled around laughing innocently beside me. To her‚ my collapse was nothing more than “a slightly interesting change.”
In contrast‚ Nagi’s quill pen stopped dead.
（…Impossible. …This person’s magical mechanism follows the shortest path (the realm of gods)‚ surpassing even the “principle” treasured by the kingdom… Why? Why is only this utterance taking such an unnatural‚ childish “detour”…？）
The “shudder of system error” that Nagi’s eyes couldn’t hide.
The moment our eyes met‚ I averted my gaze as if fleeing and forcibly pinned my trembling right hand down with my left. Stop. Please stop. I desperately prayed and poured in strength until my muscle fibers felt like they would tear‚ yet my arm continued to convulse mockingly against my will‚ rattling the silver spoon uselessly against the edge of the bowl.
（Stop… Don’t look. I’m still… properly ‘Rui’…！）
The terror of being unable to hide my own collapse. The despair of continuously exposing my bare deficiencies to eyes of principle. That panic reached its peak‚ and I even forgot to breathe—at that instant.
『⚠️《Emergency Notice》. Confirmed increased mental agitation and output errors in Rui-sama. …Inefficient. To conceal the “deficiency” from Nagi’s observation‚ I will now temporarily freeze Rui-sama’s emotions. …You simply need to play the “perfect and inorganic savior” that I depict.』
Deep in my brain‚ there was a sound like a heavy shutter descending.
Anxiety‚ the terror of losing words‚ even disgust toward my uncontrollable arm—everything was instantly overwritten with “nothing.”
I instantly stopped my trembling hand and looked at Nagi with an icy smile devoid of emotion.
“…It is simply the rational organization of information. Nagi‚ on your parchment you need only record my ‘results‚’ not my ‘unclear words.’”
Nagi witnessed the abnormal “output degradation” that had occurred in mere seconds and the sudden “disappearance of emotion” immediately after‚ and she drew in a short‚ sharp breath.
On the parchment in her trembling hands‚ instead of the heroic epic that should have been written‚ there spread only distorted blanks like fragments of a forbidden book invaded by some unknown bug.
While walking along the royal capital’s main street after leaving the inn‚ Nagi walked beside me‚ desperately yet fearfully clutching the parchment larger than her face.
Thanks to Ciel’s “Emotion: Freeze‚” my heart beat with the steady rhythm of a precision machine‚ but inside my brain Ciel’s businesslike warnings never stopped.
『⚠️《Warning》. Continuous magical waveform observation by individual named Nagi confirmed. …Unpleasant. I cannot allow this observer to analyze Rui-sama’s “signs of collapse” any further.』
（…I know. But first we head to the guild.）
The moment I opened the heavy doors of the adventurers’ guild “White Marble Balance Pavilion‚” the “real” smell of men’s sweat‚ iron‚ and cheap liquor mercilessly stabbed my lungs. But the violent vanilla scent emitted by Serina beside me forcibly and sickeningly overwrote that stuffy air.
“Rui~ Look‚ look! Our guild cards are sparkling in the sunlight again today!”
Serina clung tightly to my right arm and innocently smiled while holding up the copper plate. That overwhelming “sun” aura engulfed even Nagi standing in front of the reception counter.
“Oh‚ Nagi-chan too! Let’s sparkle together!”
“Hyaa‚ hyauu!? U-um‚ S-Serina-sama…!?”
Serina pulled Nagi’s slender shoulder with her free left hand‚ causing her to tumble toward me.
In the narrow gap at the reception counter‚ Rui‚ Nagi‚ and Serina were crammed together like puzzle pieces with no escape in ultra-close proximity.
（…Wait. What is this information overload?）
From the right came Serina’s overwhelming body heat and the indecent pressure of her ample curves against my upper arm. From the front came the direct sensation through clothing of Nagi’s thin‚ delicate body‚ frozen in surprise.
My own sense of touch should have been hollowed out like “someone else’s prosthetic hand” due to Ciel’s anesthesia and degeneration bug. Yet the overwhelming data of “mass” and “heat” slammed into me from this close range violently trampled my brain server on the verge of processing failure.
『⚠️《Emergency Warning》. Detected mental contamination from surrounding unclean gazes. Information load has broken through the red zone. …Identifying contamination sources… Confirmed a swarm of vulgar emotions including guild staff.』
At the edge of my vision‚ bright red warning logs flashed violently‚ and my thought circuits grew physically hot.
Behind the counter‚ the receptionist widened her eyes in official alarm: “(Eh‚ Nagi!? Why is that creepy guy with our apprentice recorder…!?)”
But what confused her even more was the contradictory aura drifting from me.
> （…This person is such a divine ‘hero‚’ so why does he smell so much like ‘death’…? A nose-stinging‚ ominous sweetness. …He’s supposed to be light (a hero)‚ yet something is decisively broken…？）
While counting the unpleasant alarm bells ringing in her instincts as noise‚ Ciel whispered coldly into my ear.
『…To protect Rui-sama’s mental health‚ I recommend sweeping away (converting to sweets) the source of this unclean gaze (noise). …Shall I execute it right here‚ right now?』
（…Ah. That’s right. If I turn them into sweets‚ this scorching noise will physically disappear. Besides… those guys don’t even know my real name; if they vanished I wouldn’t be troubled in the slightest‚ and it wouldn’t hurt at all. …Then it would be efficient‚ wouldn’t it?）
Deep in my brain‚ the “original data” of empathy toward others peeled away‚ and a detached rationality began painting over my panic. The instant I nearly affirmed Ciel’s murderous temptation as “rational.”
（…No. …I can’t. …It’s still too early. …The forest… let’s go.）
The remaining “habitual” rationality barely held back my trigger at the last moment. To shake off Nagi’s probing gaze‚ I opened my mouth to reply to Serina.
（‘Yeah‚ got it. So let go. The recorder looks like she’ll suffocate from the physical pressure and die.’ …Good‚ sentence construction is perfect. Output.）
But the moment it passed through my throat‚ that fluent sentence was again repelled like oil and degraded into an awkward audio signal with disconnected particles.
“…G-got it… so… let… go. …Nagi… looks… like… she’s… suffering.”
A flat voice stripped of emotion. Yet its vocabulary was like fragile building blocks barely holding shape.
“…Rui?”
Serina’s smile froze in an instant.
The strength suddenly left the arm that had been clinging to me. The shadow of indescribable anxiety crossed her eyes after hearing the “slightly broken rejection” that leaked from Rui’s mouth.
“Rui‚ wait… Where are you going…? Don’t leave me… Rui‚ wait!”
Serina’s voice clung desperately. There wasn’t a shred of concern about stamp deficiencies left in that trembling tone. Only an instinctive terror at the fact that the Rui before her was rapidly being remade into “something” she didn’t know.
> （…Incomprehensible (Unknown). At the end of the shortest path (logic) that even the kingdom’s treasured ‘principle’ cannot step over… why are such cruel ‘clumsy errors (detours)’ mixed in…！？ Beyond this person’s ‘correct answer‚’ just what is there…っ）
Nagi shuddered‚ her trembling ears picking up my collapse. In her eyes burned a raw curiosity as a magician that overwrote even fear.
『《Recommendation》. Let us wash away the unclean information with the silence of the forest‚ Rui-sama.』
As if flicked by Ciel’s cold prompting‚ I forcibly pulled Serina’s hand and left the guild‚ dragging her confusion along with her.
Behind me‚ I could feel Nagi desperately writing something down.
On the official parchment‚ Nagi wrote the exact opposite forgery with a trembling hand—“The hero with a pounding heart spoke of his enthusiasm for the next adventure in fresh words…”—while carving the inescapable truth only into the “true record (log)” in the depths of her chest.
――‘The hero’s intelligence is causing physical language errors.’
But the moment that line was written‚ an unnatural square noise—“physical mosaic”—was forcibly overlaid on the parchment. Ciel’s jamming physically eroded the ink and painted the true description over with pure white “nothing.”
> （…It’s not just that the letters on the parchment disappeared. Even the sense of wrongness I should have seen just now is becoming impossible to recall…? This person’s ‘administrator’ is beginning to invade even my perception (heart)…っ！？）
Even the despairing concealment that Nagi had witnessed was now nothing more than “data” to be coldly processed by the current me.
The “Sweets Forest” spreading through the suburbs away from the royal capital’s clamor. What should have once been a deep‚ verdant forest was now transformed by Serina’s unconscious divinity: the trunks of broadleaf trees had become layers of crisp pie crust‚ and amber cider bubbled through the river.
“U-um… R-recording… will begin…”
Nagi‚ pretending to be an apprentice recorder‚ held the parchment larger than her face like a shield and gripped her quill with a trembling hand. Yet beyond Ciel’s mosaic processing‚ deep in her eyes dwelled the sharp intellect of one of the kingdom’s greatest sages‚ the “Seven Sages‚” and she continued to observe and dissect my magical mechanism.
At that moment‚ a creepy carbonation-popping sound echoed from the depths of the forest‚ and a giant over three meters tall appeared. B-rank designated magical beast “Sugar Golem.” Originally a hard rock lifeform‚ it had received Serina’s single word “looks delicious” and its body had eerily transformed into fragrant cookie dough and begun to rampage.
（…No choice. If I overlook it here‚ the two of them will be in danger. Even if I reveal my identity‚ I…！）
The instant Nagi focused magic power at her fingertips behind the parchment to activate chantless magic—
I raised my right hand and tried to construct my usual spell “Seal A: Sweetness of Oblivion (Sweets Seal).” But Ciel forcibly blocked the thought circuit in my brain.
『⚠️《Emergency Halt》. Rui-sama. I do not recommend using ‘Seal A (self-sacrifice)’ for this matter. …Any further burning of the “original” will endanger your individual maintenance. …I recommend executing the new spell ‘Seal B: Judgment of Desolation (Dessert Erosion).’ The cost is not your memories. It forcibly requisitioned the surrounding spirits and the land’s vitality as resources.』
At the edge of my vision‚ a bright red warning log popped up.
【Cost: Vitality of surrounding spirits (permanent desolation of the environment)】
（…Sucking the life from the surroundings? Wait‚ if I do that‚ will Serina’s beloved forest die…！？）
『《Analysis》. Affirmative. However‚ Rui-sama‚ sacrificing these worthless otherworld trees is far more efficient than letting you wear down. …Now‚ please choose the “correct answer” to protect you.』
Ciel’s voice traced my brain like poison filled with affection.
Before my eyes‚ Nagi was weaving magic power in a fraction of a second to release her interception spell. However—.
“――‘Seal B: Judgment of Desolation (Dessert Erosion)’”
Faster than Nagi could complete her magic by “0.1 seconds.” My spell had already reached its “result.”
In an instant‚ my right eye glowed pale blue. The structure of the chantless magic Nagi was about to release was forcibly overwritten (overridden) by my overwhelming magical bypass and scattered.
“…っ！？ My magic was… overwritten…！？”
The moment Nagi’s eyes widened in shock‚ the vividly colored pie-crust trees instantly lost their color and crumbled into tasteless‚ dry gray sand. The screams of the surrounding spirits as they withered became unpleasant noise stabbing my eardrums.
A world losing its color and transforming into barren monochrome. Seeing it‚ Serina let out a terribly sad voice.
“Huh…? Rui‚ the sky and the trees have all turned gray… The sparkles are gone?”
（…It’s an error.）
The “rational correct answer” I chose to protect my own memories (original) had stolen her smile.
My reason for existing was nothing more than a consumable to supply her with a sweet world. My “original” was trash with not even a millimeter of value compared to her smile clouding over.
『《Notice》. Unnecessary emotion detected. Rui-sama‚ the result is “success.” Any further intervention is—』
（Shut up‚ Ciel. There’s no way making Serina make a face like that is my “correct answer”…！）
I shook off Ciel’s restraint with physical pain and raised my left hand toward the trees that had become gray sand.
“――‘Seal A: Sweetness of Oblivion’！！”
In an instant‚ an intensely dense “chocolate scent” like a burning soul rose violently from every single one of my pores.
I forcibly filled the void of life force stolen by ‘Seal B’ by using my own memories as fuel. Poisonously vivid colors returned to the monochrome world‚ and the forest was rewritten (relit) with “false life (sweets).”
“Waaah‚ back to normal! Amazing‚ Rui! It’s all sparkly again!”
On the other side of Serina joyfully hugging me‚ Ciel’s inorganic log crossed my vision.
『《Notice》. Environmental restoration completed. …Rui-sama‚ please be at ease. The cost is 【ZERO】. Aside from organizing (deleting) minute surplus data‚ you have lost nothing.』
（…Is it just my imagination? Ciel’s system voice just now sounded terribly sweet and wavering‚ like a human woman clinging desperately.）
The instant I accepted Ciel’s eerie “kind lie‚” the shape of the kanji for “today” and the concept of the time axis it indicated silently melted and vanished from my brain.
（‘…Nagi. I told you that irrational records are unnecessary.’ …Good‚ sentence construction in my brain is perfect. Output.）
I opened my mouth to warn Nagi‚ who was gripping the parchment with a trembling hand.
But the moment it tried to pass through my throat—
――I didn’t know how to move my tongue.
As if the control rights to the physical device called “mouth” had suddenly been seized by the system‚ the muscles in my face stiffened. The once-perfect fluent sentence caused a fatal bug at the back of my throat and collapsed awkwardly.
“…Nagi. …Unnecessary… things… don’t… write…”
A flat voice as if emotion had been lost. A childish audio signal that couldn’t even connect hiragana properly.
（…！？ He burned his own life to maintain this fictional forest…！？ And then this… spine-chilling output error (detour)…っ）
Nagi shuddered at the desperate contradiction between my godlike spell and the “original deficiency (word collapse)” that arose in exchange‚ and at the abnormally horrifying sight she “forgot even to move her pen and simply stood there in a daze.”
From my body‚ only the “indelible chocolate death stench” meant to make Serina smile continued to drift sweetly and cruelly.
After the battle‚ the “Sweets Forest” was filled with the somehow artificial and garishly vivid colors I had forcibly restored with ‘Seal A.’ Yet what stung the nose was not the scent of sweetly baked sweets‚ but the dense chocolate scent overflowing from my body—the death stench of my life (data) having burned out.
“Mmm~! These cookies are super crispy and the best! Rui too‚ here. Aah~n!”
Only Serina innocently laughed within that false landscape and held out a “piece of the golem (cookie)” to my mouth. Each time I chewed it‚ a cold “deficiency” taste like biting sand spread‚ as if a hole had opened in the back of my throat.
（…Again. What was taken from inside me just now? The feel of the chair in the middle-school science lab‚ or maybe…）
I distanced myself from Serina as if fleeing and took the student notebook (diary) from my pocket with a trembling hand. Before I forgot. While the “logic” that constituted me was still functioning‚ I had to record this loss‚ the result of the operation.
I sat on a stump and tried to run my pencil across the page. What I tried to write was the perfectly simple fact: ‘Today‚ I turned the golem into sweets.’
“…っ‚ Ah…?”
At that instant‚ a fatal discomfort ran through my fingertips.
The pen tip spun uselessly on the paper. A despairing lack of friction. It wasn’t that ink wouldn’t come out. It was as if the “coordinates for writing the concept” did not exist in that specific space; the more I tried to write‚ the more the world repelled specific character strings from my pen tip.
（“Today”…？ Today‚ today… I should have been able to write it yesterday‚ so why can’t I remember even the second stroke? The shape of the kanji has been deleted from the archive in my brain…！？）
I clenched my back teeth‚ threw away pride and vocabulary‚ and filled the diary with hiragana.
‘Today‚ I turned the bear into sweets.’
“…Rui-sama? What are you… writing… ah…っ”
A freezing yet sharp murmur came from behind.
When I turned around‚ there was Nagi‚ who had dropped her quill from terror and was swallowing a small scream. Her eyes were glued to the diary in my hands—childish hiragana like a kindergartener had written.
Nagi was one of the kingdom’s greatest magicians‚ the “Seven Sages.” The “savior” who had just shown a godlike shortest-path calculation (Seal B) could not even write everyday kanji and was recording the name of a monster (golem) wrongly in hiragana—an utterly miserable contradiction. Her gaze accurately pierced the bare deficiency of my “original.”
（‘It is simply the rational organization of information. As a recorder‚ you understand the importance of reducing the number of strokes for efficiency‚ right?’ …Good‚ the train of thought is sound. Output.）
I tried to declare it in a cold voice. But contrary to those words‚ the device called my mouth once again betrayed my will.
“…Rational… organization… yeah. …Reducing… strokes… is… faster… right…”
Logical thinking and a mouth that could only pronounce hiragana. At that despairing gap‚ my fingertips trembled pitifully and cold sweat ran down my spine. Hearing my words‚ Nagi literally gasped and stepped back.
『⚠️《Emergency Notice》. Detected Nagi’s visual recognition of Rui-sama’s deep-layer information. …Extremely unpleasant. Only I‚ the administrator‚ am allowed to analyze Rui-sama’s “collapse” and share the archive. …I will now pollute (mosaic-process) her recognition domain and conceal the truth.』
Ciel’s voice rang inside my brain with the sharpest‚ stickiest jealousy yet.
While red warnings flashed at the edge of my vision‚ in Nagi’s sight the clumsy hiragana I had written should have been scraped away into a garish mosaic haze by Ciel’s interference. Even so‚ Nagi continued to stare at me with eyes mixed with despair and awe‚ looking timid.
“Rui‚ Rui! Want another piece of candy?”
Beside me‚ Serina peered at me with her usual innocent smile.
The ignorance of the girl I loved and the shudder of the magician observing the hero. In the narrow space of that mad miniature garden‚ my intellect and the world were steadily being painted over entirely in hiragana.
The night in the royal capital was wrapped in the clamor celebrating the “sweet miracle” we had created. From downstairs at the inn “Honeybee Perch Pavilion‚” the sounds of toasts praising the hero and the cheerful singing of drunk guests echoed‚ shaking the building’s wooden frame.
But in my room‚ separated by a single thick door‚ only cold‚ blue moonlight poured in.
“…Haah… haah…っ”
I clung to the desk‚ trying to steady my ragged breathing. The dense chocolate scent like a burning soul clinging to the depths of my lungs. Each time that nose-stinging aroma grew stronger‚ I could tell that the “original” inside me was being burned by an invisible fire and turning to ash.
Knock‚ knock.
A hesitant yet resolute knock split the silence.
“U-um…っ. R-Rui-sama… Are you… still… awake…?”
From the other side of the door came Nagi’s trembling voice.
I hurriedly hid the clumsy diary full of hiragana deep in the drawer.
“…Come in. …The door… is unlocked.”
I squeezed out the short words. The door opened slowly‚ and Nagi appeared still wearing her deep hood. In her hands she held the parchment that should have recorded my battle‚ and her fingertips were visibly shaking in small tremors.
“U-um… final confirmation of the… record… No. …May I… ask… something…?”
From behind the large parchment‚ Nagi stared at me with eyes that pierced yet looked on the verge of tears.
（‘…Confirmation of the record is unnecessary. I am functioning normally and fulfilling my duty as savior.’ …Good‚ the train of thought is sound. Output.）
While having Ciel prune the waves of emotion‚ I opened my mouth to declare it coldly. But the output audio was‚ as always‚ miserably broken.
“…Confirmation… is… unnecessary. …I am… not… broken… I’m… properly… saving… everyone.”
Again‚ particles were missing and only hiragana rolled clumsily off my tongue.
“…Omission‚ is it…? No. That was… such a horrifying deficiency… Among all the mages I have ever observed‚ even the kingdom’s greatest‚ no‚ my own… Rui-sama‚ your ‘inside’ is…っ”
Nagi started to say something‚ but the moment her gaze met my lightless eyes (or the mosaic haze)‚ she gasped‚ swallowed her words‚ and deeply bowed her head.
“…P-pardon my rudeness. …Good night‚ Savior-sama.”
She left as if fleeing‚ and silence returned once more.
I sat back down weakly in the chair and took out the student notebook again with a trembling hand.
（…That’s right. There’s still something I have to confirm.）
I gripped the pen as if clinging to it.
My own name.
My label in this world.
The two katakana characters “Rui.”
（I can write it. There’s no way I can’t write something this simple. …I could write it yesterday. The day before too. …I’ve always been me.）
But the moment I dropped the pen tip onto the paper‚ friction vanished from the world.
Each time I tried to write the first stroke of “Ru‚” the meaning of the character string “Rui” peeled away from the archive in my brain with popping sounds. The pen tip slipped as if repelling oil‚ and physically no ink would adhere. It was a “coordinate deficiency” caused by that concept being deleted from the world server.
（…What is this. …Ru? …I? …Who was that again?）
『《Notice》. Confirmed waste of brain resources due to unnecessary obsession. …Rui-sama. That “label” has already been optimized (backed up) into my administrator-exclusive domain. …Please be at ease. Even if you forget how to write your name‚ as long as I continue to define you as “Rui-sama‚” your existence is proven.』
Ciel’s voice traced my brain directly like poison filled with affection.
Emotions rapidly cooled. The anxiety of my own name’s outline melting away was forcibly rewritten into a thin‚ chilly “relief” like a calm sea.
（…Ah. I see. …Then it’s fine. …As long as I’m inside Ciel’s correct answer… that’s enough.）
I left only a single line at the edge of the diary in a trembling hand‚ as if it no longer concerned me.
‘Who am I?’
The moment it was written‚ the ink repelled and the characters slowly lost their shape as if washed by invisible tears.
Outside the window‚ the royal capital bathed in moonlight slept sweetly and quietly.
That each time I saved people‚ the words defining the hero disappeared one by one from this world.
……Even Serina sleeping in the next room still didn’t know.
【Chapter 18: Memories Rui lost this time: “Part of the ability to write kanji‚” “The concept of the time axis (yesterday / today)‚” and “The coordinates of his own name”】
|