Side Story: Chapter 04 (Main Story 10.04) "Soot-Covered Reconciliation (Happiness) or the Disappearance of Thermal Energy"
A windowless special training room. Mathematically speaking‚ this is the “cleanest box (black box)” in the world.
Ever since the decision for that joint exercise was made‚ my escape route to peace was physically razed to the ground by Catherine’s bulldozer known as “assessment‚” and I was isolated in this ducal family’s directly controlled sterile room (clean room) under the pretext of “protection.”
（……Ahh‚ calm down. Oxygen concentration 21%‚ humidity 50%. Here‚ there is no “other people’s gazes” called overload (noise) that burns through my “peace” resources. This is a thoroughly managed debug room……）
I sank my body into the abyss of the sofa and stroked the cover of the “Imaginary Grimoire” with trembling fingertips. But the moment a bug called relief ran through me‚ a cold system log raced across the back of my retina.
[ Warning: Recommend optimizing auditory protocol. Shifting sound saturation reduction process to Phase 2 ―― ]
[ Real-time decoding (text conversion) of received audio registered as a resident program ―― ]
“Lord Louis. I have prepared a special herbal tea.”
Agreas approached without a sound and placed the cup on the table. At that instant‚ my ears completely refused to accept his voice as a “living voice.”
[ Audio packet received: Text conversion (decoding) complete ―― ]
『 Agreas: Lord Louis. It is tea time. Discard emotional noise and immerse yourself in equations ―― 』
Inorganic strings popping up at the edge of my vision. The formerly polite and formal “resonance” and the butler-like calculated “intonation” are all stripped away as unnecessary junk data. I directly imported those strings into my brain.
「……Agreas. Your voice has somehow turned into something like an ‘instruction manual‚’ hasn’t it?”
“That is a joyous thing. It is proof that Lord Louis’s brain is approaching the ‘vessel of God’ that can omit unnecessary emotion and read only the essence.”
『 Agreas: Congratulations. You have taken another step forward in graduating from the defective product known as human ―― 』
I felt a chilling shiver‚ but even that “terror” was processed by the system with a 0.5-second delay as a “low-priority error” in the background‚ forcing my expression into “peace.”
“Louis-kun! Good morning. I wonder if my love has reached all the way to your retina?”
The moment the door opened‚ a silver whirlwind physically shattered my personal space.
Selina Elferia. As if exercising her natural right‚ she sat on my lap and held me down with the gravity of body temperature.
[ Contact confirmed: Thigh area. Elastic modulus: Analysis impossible (excessive interference with system detected) ―― ]
『 Selina: Good morning‚ Louis. Today is the best “exercise.” Let’s delete all the impurities together ―― 』
（……Strange. Her “softness‚” which I used to be able to quantify as “Level: A‚” now overflows with the heat of emotion and cannot be read. Is her very existence beginning to physically hack (overwrite) my system……?）
The humming she sang cheerfully. The melody that once shook my heart is now mechanically processed in my brain as nothing more than “constant frequency data.”
The fluctuation of sound‚ the texture of her voice—everything is missing.
Staring at a mere waveform (sine curve)‚ what was I supposed to feel comfort from? It was now impossible for me to even guess my former “senses.”
Selina ran her cold fingertips along my cheek and peered at me lovingly.
「……Oh my. In Louis-kun’s pupils‚ my voice is reflected as ‘text.’ Fufu‚ wonderful. This way‚ my words will be written directly into your depths (root) without anyone interfering.”
「……Selina. Are you really planning to debug (execute) every single member of the special advancement class?”
“No way. I’m simply going to perform a batch update (update) on the ‘old OS’ that cannot understand how wonderful you are‚ Louis-kun.”
The absolute-zero management desire dwelling in her eyes.
The moment my thought circuits glimpsed the unfathomable madness within them and nearly caused a severe overload——that was when it happened.
ZUDOOOOOOOOOON!!
Shattering the soundproof barrier with physical vibration‚ the heavy door of the training room exploded into pieces.
[ Damage to environmental object confirmed. Beginning organization (rendering) of visual information ―― ]
[ Setting drawing priority of scattered objects to minimum (wireframe). Calculating shortest evasion route ―― ]
A sight that would normally make one scream. Yet in my vision‚ the approaching door fragments were all rewritten into intangible “pale grid masses (meshes).”
Without moving a single eyebrow‚ I simply tilted my head a few centimeters to the side. The inorganic rubble passed my cheek with zero 0.01-millimeter error and scattered silent sparks against the wall behind me.
（……Wait‚ hold on. My current evasion motion is mathematically too flawless—it’s actually creepy. It feels like my body is being forcibly operated (auto-play) from the outside by a “system” that isn’t me……!）
“——Sorry to keep you waiting‚ Louis! I’ll be right beside you to witness your ‘courageous decision’!!”
Shining in the morning light with his silver-white armor and scattering violent amounts of heat‚ Leon Valks burst in.
[ Warning: Received “yang” audio data exceeding capacity. Blocking physical interference and forcibly displaying text only ―― ]
『 Leon: Louis! My friend! The dawn of the holy war to eradicate impurities!! ―― 』
（……Leon. You definitely just shouted something like “let’s fight fair and square” with passionate friendship‚ right? Yet on my retina right now‚ your words are only compiled as an “aggressive selection declaration”……!）
The “yang” aura Leon emitted filled my visual cortex with a torrent of violent text.
But in the midst of that uproar‚ at the very bottom layer of my retina‚ on the outer edge of consciousness‚ an eerie red log flashed at blinding speed.
[ Anomaly detected: Overheating of external resources. Soot (soot) accumulation remaining until critical point: 10% ―― ]
[ Warning: Detected magical scan from external source. Observer: Catherine Belmont ―― ]
[ Assessment process of computational ability is being executed. Target coordinates reserved for “Fifth Outdoor Training Ground” ―― ]
（……Catherine. Peeping (scanning) is a manners violation‚ even by inn common sense. ……Ahh‚ no good. This “gaze” has already entered a layer (layer) where‚ no matter where I try to escape‚ I cannot mathematically disengage the lock-on……!）
The morning of the exercise day began accelerating all at once with an ominous yet comical sound‚ rolling about in someone’s palm.
Fifth Outdoor Training Ground. This place‚ lined with cobblestones and half-collapsed brick buildings‚ was originally supposed to be a “learning hall” for cultivating real-combat tension.
But what my retina is capturing now is nothing more than a gray geometric model (geometry) stripped of all color.
[ Warning: Confirmed constant decline in visual saturation. Processing environmental objects as “low-resolution textures” ―― ]
（……Ahh. The learning hall that should have been bathed in spring sunlight now looks like a debug map still under development. There’s no emotion or anything left. At this rate‚ my self-respect called “peace” feels like it will be sucked into these desolate cobblestone polygons and vanish.）
While unconsciously fiddling with the hem of my ill-fitting uniform‚ I looked ahead.
There‚ the elite members of the special advancement class‚ their white-and-gold embroidery too dazzling‚ stood in formation with gazes as if looking at garbage—or avoiding an unknown bug.
[ Scan complete: Hostile nodes identified ―― ]
『 Special Advancement Class Leader: A bug with magic index 0.2…… Today I will finally strip away that disguise ―― 』
『 Emotion analysis: Hate parameter 85%. Aggressive impulses breaking through threshold ―― 』
（……Rather than scary‚ it’s just pathetic. Their vocabulary variation is too poor. It’s like they’re reading preset template sentences from an old OS. Mathematically speaking‚ the total mass of their pride is a burden that threatens my peace‚ but their intelligence is completely “outdated bugs.”）
“Louis-kun. There is no need to waste your precious computational resources on the gazes of such ‘low-efficiency impurities.’”
Selina standing beside me “locked (fixed)” my right hand with her fingertips.
Her fingers were still ice-cold as always. But faster than my skin could physiologically sense that “coldness‚” the system pre-processed it with [ Physical contact: Hand area. Loading reward data ].
（……Wait‚ hold on. Has my skin already stopped receiving her existence as “tactile sensation” and begun treating it as nothing more than an “information packet”……?）
「……Selina. But if I don’t fight them‚ the exercise won’t end. I want to finish it as quickly as possible and go calculate the reflectance of the water in the bucket at the inn’s back door to cool my brain temperature.”
“Fufu‚ it’s all right. I’ll optimize everything for you. ……Right‚ Rosetta?”
When Selina turned to look behind her‚ Rosetta was already standing there‚ assimilated with the “shadow” of the training ground.
『 Rosetta: All coordinates within the training ground secured. Physical cleanup (cleanup) procedure for targets on standby ―― 』
（……Rosetta. Your “cleanup” doesn’t mean an unofficial backdoor command to physically sweep them away‚ right? The only thing I want to avoid mathematically is having to write an incident report for Catherine later……!）
At that moment‚ a single cold remark was “output” from the observation platform on the high ground toward the entire training ground.
「……Begin. Louis Adel. I shall assess the true value of that ‘computation that ignores thermal energy’…… as a national asset.”
Catherine Belmont. In response to her words‚ a dark-red progress bar raced violently at the edge of my vision.
[ Monitoring log: Evaluation parameter fluctuating (↑). Strategic value: Calculating as national-level asset ―― ]
『 Catherine: Louis Adel. I will watch how you organize and tidy up (purge) this ‘world full of garbage’…… Show me your skill ―― 』
“——Let’s go‚ Louis! I’ll prove your friend’s justice with my shield right beside you!!”
Leon drew his holy sword and began charging while scattering dazzling light packets. At that instant‚ my retina reacted with a deafening warning sound (alert).
[ Warning: Received “yang” audio data exceeding capacity. Forcibly executing text conversion ―― ]
『 Leon: Initiating target annihilation process. I shall become the defensive wall and support your condemnation ―― 』
（……Leon. You definitely just did the “proving a friend’s justice” move‚ didn’t you!? Why is my retina compiling it as this brutal annihilation support protocol……!）
The elite members of the special advancement class constructing barriers. Yet in my eyes now‚ the “flaws (bugs)” hidden in those supposedly solid barriers were glaringly highlighted in ominous red.
（……Inefficient. Just by shifting the magic inflow angle another 0.3 degrees‚ that wall would be reduced to a mere ‘thin curtain.’）
I traced the “Imaginary Grimoire” and began “organizing and tidying up (purging)” the magical density of the space.
Every time I “optimized” the magic‚ raw heat was stolen from the surroundings‚ and plugs called sensation were mercilessly pulled one by one from my fingertips.
But that was when it happened.
[ Warning: Detected abnormal resonance (howling) in the underground magic furnace of the training ground ―― ]
[ Detected numerous high-frequency audio logs (screams) in surrounding nodes. Reducing audio input by 80% (cut) due to rising discomfort index ―― ]
（……Eh? Wait. The world suddenly became quiet. The special advancement class members are opening and closing their mouths‚ but did my system unilaterally mute their screams as “low-priority noise”?）
[ Structural stability index: Sharp drop. Remaining until physical collapse (crash): 180 seconds ―― ]
This eerie rumbling‚ this vibration waveform…… It feels eerily similar to the reverse phase of the “Formula 0.34” I wrote in the grimoire. Who the hell hacked my theory and arbitrarily wrote in this “explosion command (exploit)”!?
Could it be Rosetta……? No‚ that can’t be. She would have erased them in a much more “low-cost” way. In that case‚ this is——Catherine’s “assessment” called a limit load test!?
From the bottom of the ground‚ “destructive thermal energy” exceeding 1200°C was trying to dye my mathematical eye bright red.
（……Strange. This is supposed to be a scene where I should be screaming and running away‚ right? Even the heat that should scorch my lungs now looks to me like nothing more than a “warning-color color palette.” The approaching menace of death is inorganicly rewritten by the retina UI into “automatic exposure compensation due to excessive brightness‚” and is purged (deleted) before my terror can even activate. ……It feels like the value of my life has somehow fallen to nothing more than a “simple variable‚” lighter than a dot on a screen.）
The vibrations crawling up from my feet were‚ mathematically speaking‚ the “overture to the end of the world.”
The cobblestones screamed‚ and the torrent of magic gushing from the gaps in the bricks came burning toward my retina as an eerily vivid “warning color (red).”
“Louis! Run! I’ll become the shield here——”
Leon stood in front of me with his holy sword ready. His silver-white armor was beginning to heat up (heat up) to an orange glow from the approaching hot wind.
（……Leon. Your courage now looks to me like nothing more than an “execution log of a suicide applicant.” Trying to block a 1200°C heat source with a single sheet of iron. Mathematically speaking‚ your survival probability has shot past zero and plunged into the imaginary domain called minus.）
I gripped the “Imaginary Grimoire” tightly. Terror? The system had already purged such a thing 0.5 seconds ago as “unnecessary resource consumption.” The only thing in my brain now was the cold equation of how to efficiently organize and tidy up (cleanup) this “large-scale system error.”
[ Warning: Remaining until critical breach: 5 seconds. Detected rapid rise in environmental temperature ―― ]
[ Option: Batch-convert (batch process) the heat source’s pixel data from “combustion (Red)” to “carbonization (Black)” and purge it? ]
（……Ahh. Do it. An explosion is nothing but a torrent of unclean energy‚ just like the stubborn oil stains in the sink at home. Rip it all off at once and flush it into the trash can!）
I thrust out my right hand and directly wrote the pre-calculated “0.3-degree correction code” into the spatial magic flow path.
My fingertips traced the grid in the air‚ redefining (redirecting) the explosion’s directionality from “skyward” to “dust.”
“——Wind Chant Formula: Thermal Energy Optimization (Thermal Optimize)”
In an instant. The “warning color (red)” that had been about to fill my vision froze solid in a way that mocked the laws of physics.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON……!!
The explosive roar that should have echoed reached my ears converted into flat text reading “sound pressure: within normal range.”
And then. Instead of the training ground that should have been enveloped in golden flames‚ a “black curtain” large enough to cover the sky poured down silently.
[ Forcibly executing text conversion (decoding) of received audio ―― ]
『 Leon: Carbonization of impurities confirmed. As expected‚ Louis! Your condemnation that paints over this despair in black is true salvation!! ―― 』
（……Leon. You definitely just reacted with simple surprise like “The flames…… turned into soot……!?” right!? Why is my retina translating it as this destroyer’s hymn……!）
Harmless carbon particles falling from the sky‚ stripped of their heat.
The catastrophic error of the magic furnace’s rampage was unilaterally rewritten by my computation into mere “large-scale soot smoke” and processed (closed).
Leon stood frozen in the black snow‚ unable to deny the sight of his prideful silver-white armor being soiled by soot. Through the inorganic logs I was certain that the “justice of protecting with a shield” he believed in had helplessly broken with a sound before my “efficient organizing.”
The surroundings were enveloped in dense‚ pitch-black soot snow that blocked vision.
At the edge of my vision floated a calm log that seemed to mock this despairing scene.
[ Environmental temperature: 36.5°C (no change). Heat source neutralization confirmed normally ―― ]
（……Not hot. Even though such bright red hellfire was right in front of me. Is my skin judging this soot-covered space as the same comfortable temperature as “spring sunlight filtering through trees”?）
Intuiting the collapse of my own hardware‚ my fingertips trembled faintly.
What stopped that trembling was an astonishingly “cold” sensation that touched the defenseless nape of my neck.
「……Fufu. Covered in soot‚ aren’t you‚ Louis-kun? Just like a kitten who skipped cleaning.”
From behind‚ Selina Elferia pressed herself against me without a sound. She gently placed her own white‚ slender fingertips on my soot-blackened cheek.
[ Contact confirmed: Neck area. Surface temperature: Unobtainable. Contact pressure: 5.0 Newtons ―― ]
Selina slipped her ice-like hand into the collar of my blast-disheveled uniform. Her fingertips persistently traced the line of my collarbone.
[ Warning: Detected unauthorized process approaching core area ―― ]
Her hand threaded through the gap in my thin shirt and crawled toward my chest where my heartbeat sounded. Normally I would have screamed and fled from the movement of those supple fingers. Yet my system accepted even the invasion of my “vital point‚” the heart‚ as nothing more than a change in physical coordinates.
（……Selina. Your fingertips are touching right above my heart. ……Why don’t I feel it as “annoying” or “scary”?）
She spread my collar wider and‚ under the pretext of wiping soot‚ sank her fingertips deeper into my skin. Every time her trembling fingers persistently crawled about as if confirming the loss of my “heat‚” I fell into the illusion that I had been remade from a “living human” into a mere “managed asset.”
“It’s all right‚ Louis-kun. Even if you stop feeling anything‚ I will remember all of your ‘heat’ for you. ……Look‚ I’ll clean you up‚ so look only at me?”
[ Monitoring log: Assessment complete. Confirmed rating as “national-level asset” for target ―― ]
Catherine’s evaluation log coldly blinking at the edge of my retina.
Selina lightly flicked my earlobe with her finger and smiled in satisfaction.
Right above my heart‚ her cold fingertips toyed with a fatal heartbeat. My system accepted that invasion (access) that I should have screamed and fled from as nothing more than “5.0 Newtons of pressure.”
[ Warning: Captured undefined moving node within training ground. Audio decoding: Hard striking sound (heels) ―― ]
（……Confirmed approach of observer‚ Catherine Belmont. ……My heart is being gripped‚ yet I feel nothing. Carrying that terribly inorganic numbness‚ only the footsteps coming to collect me as an “asset” began coldly scanning the soot-falling silence.）
The jet-black curtain that had filled my vision——“soot”—slowly settled onto the cobblestones following gravity.
The soot-covered scene that had once symbolized “bonds” somewhere before. Yet what my retina was rendering now was not an emotional scene of reconciliation. It was nothing more than a terribly inorganic “processed remnant” left after forcibly crushing a large-scale bug with a crude patch fix.
「……Haha‚ hahahahaha! Did you see that‚ Louis! Your ‘purification justice’ has turned the raging flames into something so beautifully harmless—into carbon!!”
Leon‚ his face completely black with soot‚ laughed heartily while clanking his silver-white armor. Even that laughter reached my ears as nothing more than an “audio log with reduced sound saturation.”
[ Forcibly converting received audio (decoding) ―― ]
『 Leon: That’s right‚ Louis! This soot-filled silence is the ideal peace. The black world where impurities have settled and both sound and heat have been lost is the final destination of the justice we must protect!! ―― 』
（……Leon. Didn’t you just casually define “peace = the silence of death”? That bug-riddled justice equation would mathematically turn all of humanity into enemies. The hero’s OS is already contaminated to the point where even rebooting is impossible……）
Leon slapped my shoulder with the force of striking down a mortal enemy.
[ External impact: Within normal range. Muting (silencing) unnecessary pain output ―― ]
（……The impact that we used to laugh off together with “That hurts‚ Leon.” Yet what I am accepting now is nothing more than an inorganic “physical pressure fluctuation.” The heat of affection he put into it is now nothing but junk data to be purged as noise……）
「……Ahh. It’s the planned processing result‚ Leon. Because turning inefficient energy like an explosion into mere carbon and purging it is the cheapest (lowest cost).”
At the “correct answer (code)” I spat out‚ Leon’s eyes shone with even more fanatical heat. His “misreading of courage” had accelerated to a level that could no longer be corrected (debug error).
“——That is quite enough. Both of you.”
Cutting through the death-like silence of the pseudo-urban area‚ the hard sound of heels approached.
Catherine Belmont. The eyes behind her glasses coldly scanned me not as a human but as a “strategic asset” on a dissection table.
[ Audio packet received: Text conversion (decoding) in progress…… ]
『 Catherine: Louis Adel. That ‘computation that ignores thermal energy’ of yours…… I am convinced. This is a ‘strategic weapon’ that affects the fate of the nation‚ beyond the hands of a mere student ―― 』
She ran her pen with cold precision. In my mathematical eye‚ I could see ominous “asset tags” that could not escape my retina popping up one after another.
[ Individual identification: Louis Adel ]
[ Attribute: National strategic-level computational resource ]
[ Approval: Royal Magical Academy (highest authority) ]
[ Status: Unwritable (Read Only) ]
『 Catherine: Preparing to return to the inn is pointless‚ Louis-kun. Your ability should be optimized (adjusted) to spend your entire life wiping blood and mud in the ‘giant dirty sink’ known as the front lines ―― 』
（……Catherine. Could you please stop using that metaphor that hacks my identity in the worst possible way? I can hear the sound of my life’s balance sheet being irreversibly fixed in the red (deficit) at this very moment……）
Beside me as I hung my head in despair‚ Selina once again “locked (fixed)” my arm with bone-creaking strength.
「……Fufu. A splendid assessment‚ Lady Catherine. But unfortunately. Louis-kun is not going anywhere. ……I will delete (erase) all those impure conscription orders for him.”
Absolute-zero management desire flickered in the depths of Selina’s eyes.
The giant cage called the nation and the inescapable cage called Selina. Behind the two cages creaking as they sandwiched me‚ beyond the soot smoke‚ I caught sight of Agreas standing silently.
（……Agreas. So you were watching this process of ‘optimization (me breaking)’ from the best seat.）
The butler gave a polite bow‚ then nodded with a satisfied smile‚ as if affirming the fact that I‚ as a human‚ had been reduced to a Read Only (unwritable) item.
（……Ahh. With this‚ the probability of recovering my happiness index has mathematically converged completely to 0%.）
I watched‚ as if it were someone else’s problem—nothing more than an error log on a display—as the indeterminate element called “future” was purged from my heart.
Only the black snow falling from the sky quietly and surely painted over my thoughts.
Behind us as we left the training ground‚ the place called the Fifth Outdoor Training Ground—a “hotbed of bugs”—was swiftly “restored to original condition” by workers arranged by the ducal family.
The dangerous keyword “conscription” that Catherine had uttered continued blinking as a bright-red error log in the corner of my brain server‚ but Selina’s firm computation (will) walking beside me—“I will never let you escape”—forcefully overwrote (overrode) and painted it over.
「……Louis-kun‚ look. The sky is so beautiful. It’s as if the world is celebrating this wonderful day of ‘optimization.’”
Selina rested her head on my right arm and gazed up at the sky in rapture.
If my memory database was correct‚ a burning orange sunset should be spreading above our heads right now. The old me would have irrationally held onto a non-logical hope (bias) like “I’ll do my best again tomorrow” at its overwhelming vividness.
But what my retina was accepting now was nothing more than terribly inorganic visual data.
[ Warning: Failed to load color profile in visual cortex ―― ]
[ Alternative processing: Purging saturation (Saturation) of all rendering areas to ‘0%’ ―― ]
（……Ahh. It’s gone.）
One blink.
In that instant‚ the color code “orange (hope)” completely peeled away from the world.
The clouds that should have been burning turned into heavy leaden gray‚ and the cobblestones that had glowed golden sank into an inorganic ash gray (gray) like an old black-and-white photograph.
“Hahahaha! What a wonderful feeling‚ Louis! The bond between the three of us has become one inside that soot! This is the way of a knight—no‚ the way of a friend!”
Leon clanked his silver-white armor and slapped my left shoulder powerfully.
Even his passionate shout was nothing more than a string of text data flowing emptily across the edge of my vision inside my brain.
[ Audio decoding complete ―― ]
『 Leon: My friend! We are the strongest team! Let us continue purifying the impurity called evil together from now on!! ―― 』
（……Leon. Your smile is probably shining brilliantly right now. But to me‚ your face looks like nothing more than a ‘high-brightness gray mass.’）
A world that had lost all color.
Hearing that could only accept emotion as text.
Touch that could only detect heat as numbers.
I was being logged out (withdrawn) from human “experience‚” step by step‚ steadily.
Suddenly‚ the pressure on my right arm grew even stronger.
Selina intricately intertwined her hand and fingers with mine and “locked (fixed)” them‚ as if to say she would never let me escape again.
[ Contact confirmed: Right hand and fingers. Detected physical restraint (interlock) ―― ]
[ Target (Louis) release authority: None ―― ]
（……Ahh‚ I’m happy.）
The moment I thought that.
A cold system log ran through my brain UI with an exact 0.5-second delay‚ forcibly outputting reward data.
[ Situation analysis: Close contact with Selina Elferia ―― ]
[ Process complete: Loading (applying) ‘happiness’ with 0.5-second delay ―― ]
Not my heart‚ but the computational circuit gave retrospective consent: “You are happy now.”
I quietly accepted the “fake heat (data)” poured into me while looking up at the gray sky that had lost all color.
[ Process in progress: Complete discard of object color codes ―― ]
[ Error: Failed to purge color of target ‘Selina Elferia’ ]
[ Fatal exception handling (bug): Maintaining ‘vermilion (Red)’ at the relevant coordinates ―― ]
Soot-covered reconciliation.
A perfect happy end where the three of us laugh together.
Yet only I‚ buried in system logs‚ could no longer hear the sound of the cage’s lock closing.
In my gray vision that the system had defined as “you should feel happy now.”
Only Selina’s lips‚ which could not be deleted (deleted)‚ and the fingertips intertwined with mine——that ‘vermilion like a fatal error’——remained vividly burned in as an indelible noise that would never let me escape.
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