Side Story: Chapter 05 (Main Story 10.05)「Holy Knight Leon's "Dishwashing Training" or the Optimal Solution for Detergent」
After-school communal cooking practice room. The place that should originally be filled with the liveliness of students is‚ to me now‚ nothing more than a "geometric box that has lost its saturation."
The water flowing from the faucet becomes lead-gray lines‚ and the bubbles accumulated in the sink appear as an inorganic gray‚ like a scene from an old black-and-white movie. Since that day‚ since that training ground——the color code "orange sunset" has been physically deleted from my world.
(……Even so‚ the tactile sensation (interface) of washing dishes is the only thing that remains. The frictional resistance of the sponge‚ the surfactant of the detergent sliding over my fingertips. This simple task is the only anchor that keeps me connected to the human side as the "innkeeper's son.")
While staring at the gray water‚ I desperately ruminate on the once obvious sensations of "cold" and "clean." A clumsy self-suggestion (bug fix) to convince myself that I am still human.
[ Warning: Captured undefined stationary node in the background area (shadow). Analysis: Agreas —— ]
In the corner of the practice room's mirror. I feel a faint shudder at the "shadow" that my retina scanned for just a moment. The butler is standing there silently‚ coldly monitoring the sight of me‚ his asset‚ allocating resources to the inefficient labor of "dishwashing."
As I lowered my face to escape that gaze‚ the center of the world——the only "exception (bug)" for me——crept up from behind.
"Ru~i. Are you staring at the dishes again in a place like this?"
Before I could turn around‚ a soft mass pressed against my back. Serina Elferia. No matter how deeply my field of vision sinks into gray‚
Only the "fatal error-like crimson (Red)" of her lips and the fingertips gripping my sleeve continue to glow vividly in the depths of my retina.
"……Serina. The scheduled exit time for you after the cooking practice has been recorded arithmetically as 17 minutes 42 seconds ago."
"That's up to me‚ isn't it? More importantly…… look‚ your hands are wet. They look cold."
Serina circled behind me and gently‚ yet inescapably‚ enveloped my wrists.
My wet fingers and her smooth fingertips intricately intertwined in the bubbles.
"Rui…… Your fingers are trembling a little. ……Hehe‚ it smells nice. The scent of soap mixed with your 'soul-burning chocolate-like smell'…… I feel like I'm going to melt away like this."
The slippery detergent bubbles entered the gaps between the intertwined fingertips‚ blurring the boundary (interface) between skin and skin. Normally‚ if someone pointed out this "death stench" or burnt smell‚ I would have blushed and run away. But now.
(……Stop it. If you touch me like that‚ the "human sensations (analog)" I've barely maintained will——)
The moment I held my breath.
The system I had desperately suppressed coldly restarted (rebooted) in my brain.
[ Contact confirmed: Right finger area. Detected physical restraint (interlock) —— ]
[ Situation analysis: Fingertip intimate contact with Serina Elferia and exhalation interference at the ear —— ]
[ Process complete: Loading (applying) "happiness" and "guilt" with a 0.5-second delay —— ]
(……I can't even remember the taste of Mom's bread anymore. The warm sweetness that should have spread in my mouth has been replaced by a dry tag like "sand." Even that smell is now nothing more than text data from search results.)
Not my heart‚ but the computation circuit gives post-approval (commit) that "you are now feeling pleasure from this wet contact."
At that instant. In the corner of the foggy mirror‚ my retina did not miss the butler's shadow standing silently‚ the corners of his mouth slightly raised as if blessing the system's normal operation (debug complete).
The "everyday life as the innkeeper's son" that I had desperately held onto was easily overwritten (overridden) into the sea of system logs by her fingertips and the monitor's approval.
I could only quietly and inorganically accept the poured "fake heat (data)."
"……Serina. You're too close. At this rate‚ the probability of physically damaging the dishes will jump up to 40%."
"It's fine if they break. If those fragments stain your fingertips red…… will you cling to me even more?"
The absolute zero possessiveness dwelling in her eyes.
Almost at the same time I couldn't process that distorted "optimal solution (Serina Logic)‚" a "yang" explosive sound that threatened to destroy my eardrums echoed from the hallway.
"——Rui! There you are! Let me join in that 'Holy Knight's Joint Martial Arts (or Secret Teaching)!!'"
The heavy door of the cooking practice room flew open‚ ignoring physical laws.
No‚ to be precise‚ it was just "vigorously opened‚" but the retinal UI displayed only the bright red error log "Warning: Sudden surge in excessive light intensity and sound pressure."
A man like a fragment of the sun solidified into humanoid form——Leon Valks strode toward the sink with large steps.
Even his silver-white armor‚ which should have made a clattering sound‚ reached my ears only as text data "Environmental noise: Silenced."
"Leon…… Your 'yang' aura‚ in this narrow sink‚ will reduce my retinal durability (resist)‚ so could you tone down the output a bit?"
[ Audio decode complete —— ]
"Leon: My friend! My soul resonates with your noble 'training'! —— "
"Training…… I'm just processing (purging) the oil stains on the dishes like I did at my family's inn."
Sighing‚ I turned my gaze back to the dishes in the sink.
My field of vision was a monochrome world that had completely lost its saturation. Lead-gray water sliding over gray dishes. There was only cold computational work there‚ adjusting the friction coefficient by 0.01 units and maximizing (optimizing) the effect of the surfactant.
However‚ to Leon's eyes‚ this "inorganic task" seemed to be received (compiled) as a completely different code.
"……Oooo! Look at that wrist snap!
The 0.3-degree precise correction when tracing the edge of the dish! Isn't that a divine technique to unconsciously and accurately pierce the 'point' where the enemy's defense is thinnest!!"
Leon peered into the sink from behind and let out a shuddering cry of joy.
"Eh‚ ah‚ no…… This is simply adjusting the reflection angle to minimize the viscous resistance of the oil‚ and it doesn't include any dangerous substitution formulas (logic) like swordsmanship secrets……"
"Don't be modest‚ Rui! You're treating the stains on the dishes as 'sins that must be judged‚' purifying them without a single cloud using this holy sword called a sponge……! Who would have thought that the true essence of chivalry was hidden in everyday cooking!"
Overcome with emotion‚ Leon slapped my shoulder with his silver gauntlet as if it were my parent's enemy.
[ External impact: Within normal range. Muting (disabling) unnecessary pain output —— ]
(……Leon. Your hero OS is already bugged to an irreparably broken level. That inefficient program you call "justice martial arts" isn't loaded even 1 bit into my brain server.)
As I looked up at Leon with a despairing face‚ Serina‚ who was entangled around my right arm‚ let out a bell-like giggle‚ yet a bone-chilling smile.
"Hehe. Sir Leon‚ you sometimes make the correct 'analysis‚' don't you? Rui-kun's efficient finger movements…… This is certainly a perfect equation for instantly deleting unnecessary 'noise (impurities).'"
Serina's fingertips grabbed my wrist from within the bubbles and forcibly pulled it close to her own lips.
In this gray (monochrome) world‚ only her lips emitted a "fatal error-like crimson‚" and that crimson violently stirred (scrapped) the computation circuits.
[ Situation analysis: Detected high-load intimate contact with Serina Elferia —— ]
[ Process complete: Loading (applying) "distorted happiness" with a 0.5-second delay —— ]
The happiness that the system post-approved filled my brain coldly.
"Hey‚ Rui-kun. If Sir Leon says so‚ shouldn't we define this as the 'academy official purification ritual'? It's the perfect opportunity to make all the dimwits (garbage data) infesting this academy understand your greatness."
(……"Official." The moment I accepted (accepted) that word‚ I heard the sound of another irreversible retreat being completely sealed in my brain.)
In my field of vision‚ which should have completely lost saturation‚ the "System Error Red" that the system directly outputs as a UI warning color flashed violently.
It was not a physical color. It was a flashback to that cursed index——the conscription decree that Catherine had directly burned into my retina‚ labeled "[ Attribute: National Strategy-Class Computational Resource ] [ Non-Rewritable (Read Only) ]."
"Wait‚ Serina. That 'official' keyword is the ultimate destruction flag for my peaceful dishwashing life (routine)……!"
However‚ my weak protest (noise) was completely erased without a trace by Leon's "roar of courage."
"Alright‚ it's decided! Sir Rui Adel! We shall revere you as the 'Master of the Sink (Sanctuary)' and have us knight candidates‚ no‚ all the students in this academy‚ learn the secrets of eradicating impurities!!"
[ Monitoring log: Confirmed spread (outbreak) of the optimization process. Approved social isolation (deification) of the target —— ]
(……Ah. I hear the sound of my life's balance sheet being determined again by an irreparable "bright red deficit.")
In the corner of my vision where the UI's red warning light flickered.
I saw the shadow of Mr. Agreas in the mirror bowing deeply with satisfaction‚ as if celebrating the birth of a new "god (bug)."
"Listen up‚ you lot! We shall now perform the 'Sacred Cleansing' ritual! Burn every single movement of Master Rui into the retinas of your souls!!"
Leon's roar echoed off the stone walls.
The sink area‚ which had been silent just minutes ago‚ was instantly filled with a crowd of silver-glittering armored figures and elite special advancement class members with dazzling white and gold embroidery.
(……Hell. What kind of forced labor camp is this? Arithmetically calculated‚ the "muscle density" and "pride mass" in this space have exceeded the normal 800%. My brain server is about to shut down from oxygen deprivation.)
In the lead-gray shadows‚ the special class members who had once looked down on me as a "magic index 0.2 bug" were now‚ unable to resist Leon's madness‚ gripping sponges with teary eyes.
The armored knight candidates plunged into the sink in full plate armor‚ desperately scrubbing dishes while their joints clattered. Some had silver elbow pads covered in bubbles‚ and detergent foam even spurted from the gaps in their helmets.
It should have been a hilariously comical scene that would make anyone burst out laughing. But to me now‚ it was recognized only as a "group of low-resolution objects repeating the same action"——a line of meaningless shadows where gray bubbles slid over gray dishes in orderly fashion.
"Behold! The viscosity of the oil stains clinging to the dishes…… even the stickiness of the enemy's solid defensive barrier is completely stripped away by this gentle stroke! This is the true essence of the *Circle of Protection* that ensnares all impurities!!"
The moment Leon raised an oil-covered dish high beside me and shouted——
"Hah! *Circle of Protection*!!"
The knight candidates all clanged their armor at once! Some‚ in their excess momentum‚ dove headfirst into the sink. Helmets sank into mountains of foam‚ silver legs flailing in the air. The special class elites followed with teary eyes‚ desperately polishing dishes while soaking their top-tier uniforms in detergent. The scene of someone's helmet rolling on the floor with a large amount of detergent foam spraying out from inside was like a broken fountain.
(……The noisy roars and the metallic sounds of creaking armor. Now they are received by my ears only as inorganic white noise crashing on the shore. The system has already finished cutting unnecessary audio data.)
Staring at the gray sink‚ I continued handling the dishes mechanically‚ like an assembly line.
At that moment‚ Serina‚ who was entangled around my right arm‚ pressed her face to my shoulder and dropped a freezing cold breath into my ear.
"……Rui-kun. Those 'garbage data' trying to imitate your beautiful technique. How unpleasant. It feels like their crude movements are contaminating the saturation of my vision by about 15%."
"Serina…… Couldn't you join the side stopping Leon? At this rate‚ all the dishes in the academy will be worn down by 0.01mm units‚ and the probability of being made to write a report by the equipment management department will reach 95%."
The words that slipped from my mouth were nothing more than remnants of the daily maintenance process that the former "innkeeper's son" possessed. A pseudo-concern automatically generated by the system. Even the predicted trouble didn't shake my heart even 1mm now. It was coldly processed as mere unnecessary text data.
"It's fine. Showing the overwhelming difference in rank to those dimwits who don't know your greatness is also part of my producing."
Serina locked my arm even tighter and turned an absolute zero gaze toward the students washing dishes in a group‚ with an elegant smile.
"Hey‚ Rui-kun? If their noise is too loud…… shall I 'optimize (delete)' this entire cooking room right now? I'll rewrite it into a quiet world just for you and me."
(……She's not joking; she's seriously about to hit the execute key.)
I observed through the retinal UI how the crimson of her fingertips flashed even more vividly with angry magical power.
Around us‚ the bubble-covered armored men plunged their heads into the sink shouting "Sever the impurities (oil stains)!" while the special class elites desperately polished dishes‚ soaking their uniforms.
In this insane scene‚ only Serina's body temperature was heavily pressed against me.
(……Ah)
Before my chest could stir‚ the system arithmetically gave post-approval: "You are now loved as a chosen being."
The cold‚ automatic processing that omitted even the UI log display quietly spread a sand-chewing sense of emptiness in my brain.
(……Leon. That lathering of the detergent isn't knightly pride or anything; it's just the surfactant concentration being appropriate.)
The cold analytical log in my brain simply closed emptily in the silence of the white noise-wrapped world‚ without reaching anyone's ears.
Even the presence of Agreas standing in the blind spot behind the mirror‚ coldly archiving the "progress" of this comical funeral procession without missing a single character‚ was now nothing more than background data to me.
Towering before my eyes was not stone pavement fragments. It was a mountain of oil-smeared flat dishes that the knight candidates had brought as offerings for their "training."
(……An arithmetical error. This pile of dishes already exceeds the top of my head by about 15%. If I continue manual processing (work) like this‚ before the "peaceful" resources are depleted‚ the probability that the cooking practice room floor will reach its structural limit and collapse will reach 88%.)
In the colorless cage‚ gray dishes formed an eerie geometric tower. Around them‚ the armor-clad men influenced by Leon were desperately moving sponges‚ but their movements were merely repeating like a comical silent film in the 90% cut environmental sound (white noise).
Leon pointed at the highly piled mountain of impurity with his soot-covered silver gauntlet‚ opened his mouth wide‚ and shouted something.
[ Lip-reading-based audio decode complete —— ]
[ Analysis result: Accepted as a fanatical victory declaration demanding the total annihilation of the target (impurities) —— ]
(……What he actually shouted was probably a pure praise (poem) like "The sound of polishing dishes is like a hymn." But the system forcibly translates (compiles) his enthusiasm into an irreparably broken "hymn of the destroyer." Either way‚ due to their inefficient movements‚ the surfactant consumption rate is recording 300% of normal. The OS won't tolerate any more waste (noise).)
I let out a sigh and took a step forward.
The "Imaginary Magic Book" hidden on my right side sank heavily as if signaling the start of computation.
[ Warning: The target objects are "tableware." Do you approve non-standard use (overkill) of strategic-class magic? —— ]
(……Fine. I'll process (debug) them all at once.)
Leon braced himself‚ and the knight candidates all stopped moving and knelt. The scene no longer looked like a cooking practice but some kind of heretical ritual (sabbath).
I raised my right hand toward the mountain of piled dishes.
The pale blue grid lines covering my vision instantly scanned the molecular structure of the grease adhering to the thousands of dishes.
"[ Magic activation: Recording unofficial diversion of strategic-class computational resources —— ]
[ Warning: Humanity index decreased by a further 0.7% —— ]"
( Viscosity of grease‚ ambient temperature‚ vibration frequency of water molecules…… Forcibly override (override) everything to "appropriate values.")
"——Wind Chant Style · Heat Optimization (Thermal Optimize) · Cleaning Version (Cleanup)"
In an instant.
The detergent vapor enveloping the cooking room instantly transformed into "jet-black fog."
A quiet shockwave accompanied by a heavy low bass DOOOON…… rippled out.
The computational wave released from my fingertips trampled physical laws as it traced the surfaces of thousands of dishes. Localizing the heat source only to the oil stains‚ carbonizing and purging (deleting) them in an instant.
The next moment.
From the piled dishes‚ snow-like "black soot" quietly and beautifully fluttered down.
After the fog cleared.
What remained was a tower of gray pottery emitting a luster greater than when newly manufactured‚ polished without a single impurity.
[ Process complete: 99.99% of impurities discharged as soot —— ]
[ System warning: Overload on tactile protocol. Reducing sensitivity by 30% (degrade) —— ]
(……Ah. The sensation in my fingertips has become distant again.)
I no longer felt "friction" in the palm that should have been gripping the sponge. It was accepted by the brain server only as inorganic numerical data "Object contact: 5.0 Newtons."
Leon let out a trembling voice and began to worship the mirror-like shining dishes. The surrounding candidates all prostrated at once‚ and I understood from the violent shaking of the waveform data that they had begun a frenzied chorus (praise).
In the midst of that swirling noise.
Serina crept up silently from behind and pressed her cold nose tip to my nape.
"Hehe‚ Rui-kun…… Wonderful. You painted over a world that was so dirty with your 'black' in an instant."
Her fingertips obsessively and lovingly traced the back of my hand‚ which was losing sensation.
Only the "fatal error-like crimson" emitted by her lips glowed eerily vividly in this gray world.
"Rui-kun‚ your hand…… has become even whiter‚ like cold marble. Hey‚ why don't you throw away all your 'sensations' like this and become my pretty doll?"
(……Scary. She's blessing the fact that I'm quitting being human (being deleted) like a system optimization (update).)
The moment I thought that.
In a background process that omitted even UI log output to the retina‚ the system directly downloaded (overwrote) "post-approval happiness" into the depths of my brain.
Even the terror of my fingertips' sensations being replaced (replaced) by numbers had to be quietly accepted within the poured fake euphoria.
(……Leon. This isn't a miracle. It's just a batch process (bulk processing) for "organizing and tidying.")
Without voicing it‚ I simply wrote that into the invisible log in my brain.
Now‚ let's go back to the inn.
Because my fingertips could no longer accept the weight of these dishes as anything but "120g mass data."
"Master Rui! I will definitely use the 'purification without impurities' I learned today as nourishment for my sword!! ……Ah‚ I can see it. Next‚ what I must sever is the 'impurities (noise)' itself that spreads in this world…… a thorough selection martial arts (project)!"
Leon roared with his mouth wide open‚ and the knight candidates all saluted in response.
But that "thunderous roar" and "intense metallic sounds of clanging armor" did not reach the auditory protocol at all. Only the physical vibrations (Hz) transmitted through the stone pavement at my feet and the red waveform data bouncing at the edge of my vision conveyed their frenzied enthusiasm inorganically.
[ Audio decode: Confirmed fatal logical breakdown (mutation into selection ideology) in the target's (Leon Valks) "justice" protocol —— ]
[ Process complete: Ending bulk batch processing of impurities (oil stains) —— ]
Exhausted‚ I leaned against the edge of the now spotless sink.
My field of vision remained a monochrome with 0% saturation. Lead-gray sink‚ gray faucet. Even the figures of the enthusiastic Leons appeared only as "groups of high-luminance inorganic objects."
"……It's over. Finally‚ I can return to a place where I can recharge "peaceful" resources……"
Suddenly‚ I reached into my brain archive.
An unconscious habit. Cross-referencing return coordinates (identity) to confirm that I am still the "innkeeper's son."
(……My family's inn. That well-used sink area. The exact distance from the faucet to the bottom of the sink is……)
"Search query: Dimensional data of the family's sink area —— "
"Error: No access rights to the specified memory (directory) —— "
(……I thought the warmth of the bread Mom baked in that sink area still remained on my fingertips. Now‚ even that sensation can't be called up as numerical data. Only a blank spreads.)
A shudder ran down my spine‚ as if traced by icy fingertips.
I can't remember. The numerical data of that "my sanctuary" that I had reached out to thousands of times a day and accurately grasped (parsed) with my fingertips had been completely purged (deleted) beyond the noise.
(……Wait. The place name disappeared. The station name too. But are you taking away even the size of the sink (identity)? Arithmetically speaking‚ without that‚ what "who" am I supposed to wash dishes as?)
A scream of "rejection" rising from the back of my throat.
But before that emotion could make my lips tremble‚ the cold system directly intervened (intercepted) in the thought circuit.
[ Warning: Detected pressure on brain resources due to inefficient nostalgia. Executing mental optimization —— ]
[ Deletion complete: Old sink area memory (legacy data). Starting installation of alternative data —— ]
Suddenly‚ the pressure on my right arm strengthened.
Serina firmly locked (fixed) my arm as if cherishing even my confusion‚ and whispered sweetly into my ear.
"……Rui-kun. Don't make such a sad face. Your 'previous sink area' no longer exists anywhere in this world. ……You can forget everything."
She circled in front of me and peered deeply into my eyes.
In the gray world‚ only her lips violently encroached on my vision as a "fatal error-like crimson (Red)."
"It's okay. If you've forgotten the numbers‚ I'll perfectly define (program) a 'new sink area (cage)' without a single deviation for you. ……Yes‚ I could even dismantle the palace throne and remake it into a counter for your exclusive inn."
Her fingertips gently stroked my now cold cheek.
That sensation was the absolute "key to the cage" itself‚ accessing the root (root) of my system.
"You can wash (erase) this academy and this world however you like? ——Together with me."
The precise 0.5-second lag that ran at that moment.
(……Ah)
Not even a warning (alert) as a UI log was output anymore.
The system had completely mastered my depths and‚ through background processing alone‚ directly downloaded (overwrote) the conclusion (answer) "You are now supremely happy in this cage" into my brain.
Even though my heart had long since died‚ only the fake euphoria created by the computation circuits sweetly paralyzed my vision.
"……Ah‚ that's right‚ Serina. ……For me‚ washing dishes by your side is enough."
The words that should have come from my own mouth sounded terribly distant and inorganic‚ like text data played from an external speaker. My vocal cords were moving‚ but the emotional waveform was completely flat.
And I accepted (accepted) the fact that I had uninstalled the very concept of a "way home" in a very calm error (system sleep).
In the twilight cooking room. In a monochrome world where colors were lost and multiple layers of lead-gray shadows fell deeply.
Only her lips glowed crimson‚ like the key to a cage that would never open.
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