Chapter 03: “The Knight of Sunlight and the Observer of Shadows”
A sharp metallic sound pierced the deep silence of the sea.
The sound of footsteps rushing up the spiral staircase without hesitation. It was the hard clang of iron military boots striking stone—a declaration of war against the world that someone like me‚ who remains thoroughly in the “background‚” would never make.
「……」
Reflexively‚ I crawled out from the darkness of the historical records section. My thoughts‚ which had been floating in dampness and heat‚ snapped awake as if struck by an icy blade at the mere sound of those military boots. Yet the sensation of Elina’s slender waist still lingered on my fingertips like a curse that refused to fade.
With a click‚ the sound of the door handle turning rang out. At the same time‚ I stepped out from the shadows of the archive room—one unnaturally hurried step toward the center of the room.
The heavy oak door opened slowly‚ yet with overwhelming force. It was not a violent kick. It was the majestic‚ stately manner of a royal palace knight‚ as if light itself were pushing back the darkness.
「Elina! So you really were here.」
An overwhelming brilliance that seemed to burn directly into the depths of my vision.
Standing in the backlight was Kyle‚ the young lion of the royal palace knight order. His well-groomed light brown hair filtered the evening sun‚ and his polished silver armor transformed even the dust inside the tower into blessed golden particles. Just by standing there‚ he repainted the peace of the library tower—my peace—with a dazzling brightness like that of the royal audience chamber.
「Ah…… Kyle. You’ve already come to pick me up?」
Elina‚ who had been standing frozen in the middle of the room‚ spoke as if startled. Her breathing was still shallow‚ her pure white attire slightly disheveled from our earlier close contact‚ and a damp heat still clung to the nape of her neck.
Kyle flashed a refreshingly bright smile and walked straight toward Elina without hesitation. His military boots innocently crushed the silence I had carefully protected.
「I was worried. You’ve been so devoted to studying magic that I wondered what kind of harsh training you were undergoing.」
Kyle gently placed his hand on Elina’s shoulder. There was not a hint of hesitation or vulgar ulterior motive in the gesture. Only pure affection and the pride of “justice” that he must protect her.
「It’s not harsh at all. Louis-kun has been…… really kind and attentive while watching over me.」
Elina turned to look at me. There was a faint hesitation as she wondered how to explain my special hobby of “observation records.” But Kyle instantly and perfectly misinterpreted the hidden agitation in that pause as “shyness toward enthusiastic guidance.”
Kyle’s clear brown eyes “discovered” my existence for the first time.
「Ah‚ so you’re Louis.」
Kyle took a step toward me and‚ of all things‚ grasped both of my hands with his own‚ enveloping them.
「……――」
Hot. And unbearably pure.
My ink-stained fingertips trembled miserably within his spotless‚ clean palms.
「Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping Elina. A scholar like you‚ who shuts himself away in a dim place to pursue his studies‚ has been supporting her in her loneliness. It’s truly a noble deed—I’m proud of you.」
There wasn’t a single millimeter of sarcasm in Kyle’s words. From the depths of his heart‚ he was sincerely praising the beautiful tale of how a “shadow dweller” like me was helping the saintess.
——Just as I had once defined it. The unconscious pure white he emitted was itself a deadly poison that reduced the spirit to ash.
He couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see that the insolent one who had just pulled the holy shrine maiden’s waist close and been intoxicated by the sound of her heartbeat. His “eyes of justice” would never reflect such a thing from the very beginning.
「……I haven’t done anything worthy of thanks. I’m simply recording the specimen that happens to be there. Though your unrestrained brilliance is‚ in my observation duties‚ a fatal noise.」
I barely resisted his “encirclement of goodwill” with a strained sarcasm. But Kyle seemed to take it as modesty‚ or perhaps as awkward scholar’s humor.
「Haha‚ you’re an interesting guy. It’s true—this place might have been a bit too bright. But I’m relieved that someone as sincere as you is by Elina’s side.」
Kyle’s innocent smile mercilessly burned away my servile self-consciousness.
He called me “friend.” The pitch-black jealousy I harbored‚ my obsession with Elina—before his overwhelming “sun” attribute‚ they were nothing more than trivial noise that wasn’t even allowed to exist.
I couldn’t even shake off the heat of the hand that gripped mine. I could only stare at the swaying blue of Elina’s disheveled ribbon from the edge of my vision.
My right hand‚ finally released‚ complained of a dull numbness as blood drained from it. Having finished designating me as a “noble friend‚” Kyle now shifted his overwhelmingly bright gaze toward Elina‚ who stood beside him with flushed cheeks.
「Still‚ the air in this room feels a little heavy. Is it because of the dampness after the rain?」
The casual words Kyle let slip were innocently trying to expose our “complicit relationship” that had been lurking in the depths of the library tower.
「……It’s simply the result of a natural phenomenon brought in by a violent evening shower in a closed space. To a resident of the ‘outside world’ like you‚ it must be nothing more than an unpleasant noise.」
「No‚ it’s not unpleasant at all. On the contrary‚ the heat lingering in this room tells me just how passionately you two were debating the truths of magic. As a knight‚ I must learn from that sincerity.」
Kyle laughed refreshingly and made the sheath of the knight’s sword at his waist clink.
Don’t make me laugh. A passionate debate on truth? Not a single fragment of anything so lofty remained here. What was drifting in this damp air right now was the “raw afterheat” itself—the very thing that had driven my heart wild in the inescapable gap between the bookshelves just moments ago.
I glanced toward Elina‚ who had sat down in a chair behind Kyle.
Bathed in the “proper light” that Kyle had brought in‚ she radiated even more vivid colors than when she had been in my shadow. Ironically‚ the absolute brilliance Kyle emitted completely concealed the raw “disarray” hidden in her details from his eyes.
——But I could see it.
The collar of her shrine maiden attire. The blue ribbon that should have been tightly tied was slightly twisted from the impact when I had pulled her close‚ and the white skin peeking through still carried a lingering heat that hadn’t fully receded.
Elina suddenly brushed away the damp hair clinging to her neck with her fingertips.
In that instant‚ the loosened gap in her clothing revealed the gentle curve from her nape to her collarbone. There‚ tiny beads of sweat mixed with the heat of my fingertips sparkled like pearls‚ reflecting the evening sun with an eerie glow.
——A burning thirst scorched the back of my throat.
What pierced my nostrils was not the refreshing scent of the wind Kyle had brought. It was the sweet breath rising from Elina’s skin‚ carrying the acidity of lemon‚ and the lingering echo of a girl’s soft body heat.
「What’s wrong‚ Louis? You don’t look well.」
Kyle peered at my face with concern. Suddenly the air in my lungs grew heavy‚ and I slightly leaned my upper body away.
「……I told you it’s the effect of excessively strong brilliance. The unrestrained radiance reflected by your armor is disturbing my vision.」
「Haha‚ sorry about that. But this is part of a knight’s formal attire‚ after all.」
Without any shame‚ Kyle gently patted Elina’s shoulder.
「Come on‚ Elina. It’s time to head back. Lady Elise is probably eagerly awaiting the results of your ‘studies.’」
「Ah‚ yeah. Right. Kyle‚ wait a moment. I’ll clean up quickly.」
Elina stood up. In that motion‚ the sweet-and-sour yet heavy‚ mud-like heat once again brushed past the tip of my nose.
She turned her usual innocent‚ radiant smile toward Kyle. But deep in her eyes‚ for just an instant‚ the afterglow of that “moist heat” she had shown only when looking at me flickered like a signal meant solely for me.
Kyle didn’t know.
That this shrine maiden he was about to lead away with his pure hands had‚ just minutes ago‚ been listening to my heartbeat at the bottom of the darkness. That beneath her white attire‚ she still carried the heat left by my fingertips.
——I alone knew.
This servile sense of superiority was the most hideous and sweetest poison—the only weapon with which a shadow dweller like me could defeat the “embodiment of the canon‚ doted upon by the sun.”
「Louis-kun‚ see you tomorrow. ……Make sure you overwrite today’s record with some decent words‚ okay?」
Elina winked. My record book lay in the direction of her gaze. There‚ the evidence that the boundary between her and me had dissolved was still engraved‚ accompanied by the scent of ink that had not yet dried.
I said nothing. I simply gripped the record book tightly against my chest‚ hiding the right hand that had almost been overwritten by Kyle’s innocent pure white—the trembling fingertips that still remembered the heat of her waist.
Only a few minutes after those unrestrained military boots had trampled my sanctuary‚ we found ourselves gathered around the round table in the center of the library tower‚ thanks to Kyle’s unconscious exercise of authority under the pretext of “thanking Louis for always taking care of Elina.”
The spot that should have been spread with old parchment was now helplessly surrendered to the sweet fragrance of lemon sweets spilling from a golden box.
「……So. What business does a promising knight bring as tribute to a basement bug like me? This isn’t the royal palace salon.」
I leaned deeply into the back of my chair and glared at the slice of lemon cake before me as if appraising poison.
「Tribute? I just wanted to thank you for looking after Elina. Besides‚ the air here is really calming. It’s the kind of sharpened silence that monks would love.」
Kyle flashed an overwhelmingly bright smile and picked up a fork without hesitation. Every time he moved‚ his silver armor clinked‚ and the scraping sound grated unpleasantly on my nerves.
「Monk……? It seems the magical wavelengths that govern your vision have conveniently reconstructed this dust and mold into ‘mental polishing agent.’ I recommend purifying that distorted perception.」
「Haha‚ as harsh as ever. But that sharpness in your words is proof that your intellect remains unclouded. Don’t you agree‚ Elina?」
When Kyle turned the conversation to her‚ Elina‚ who had been happily munching beside him with lemon cream on the corner of her mouth‚ looked up.
「Mmm! Louis-kun’s hobby is spitting poison from his mouth. But that poison is kind of addictive…… right?」
Elina turned toward me and narrowed one eye mischievously.
Thump. The suffocating closeness and body heat I had tasted in the gap between the bookshelves during the earlier storm flashed back in my mind. Was she really innocently hinting at that bittersweet memory of heat as “addictive poison” right in front of this knight of light——?
「……It’s not addictive. It’s simply a justified defensive instinct against a hostile environment. Besides‚ Elina. Once you finish eating that new creation or whatever it is‚ you should promptly leave this ‘wasteland polluted by miasma.’」
I deliberately opened the record book wide‚ as if to hide the pounding in my chest. But the innocence unique to dwellers of light—capable of nullifying even rejection—easily slipped through my defenses.
「Louis‚ don’t rush us. We’re interested in the ‘theory of magical colors’ you’ve been teaching Elina. She told me you interpret the world in your own unique colors.」
「……Is it her job to go around amusingly revealing other people’s secret research? It seems the oracle shrine maiden is missing the inviolable concept known as the ‘boundary line of the soul.’」
Kyle nodded in admiration at my biting sarcasm.
「Boundary line of the soul‚ huh. That’s certainly a concept far removed from us knights. We’re always under someone’s gaze‚ required to be correct. That’s why a man like you—who can love his own shadow—feels so refreshingly new to me.」
「……I don’t love the shadow. I simply find light unpleasant.」
「Haha! Exactly. Being with you makes me realize just how innocently I’ve been carrying the sun on my back. Louis‚ you really are interesting. I think I finally understand why Elina wants to come here every day.」
Kyle took every one of my venomous barbs as a “whetstone to polish himself” and returned them with a smile utterly free of cloudiness.
（……There’s no saving him. Does even hatred fail to reach this man?）
I clenched my back teeth and roughly brought the lemon cake in front of me to my mouth. The intense acidity stabbed my tongue‚ followed by a wave of sweetness that burned my throat like the taste of defeat against Kyle’s brilliance.
「Hey‚ Louis-kun. Kyle is actually the most popular guy in the knight order‚ you know? Yet he’s trying so hard to chat with only you. It’s funny‚ right?」
Elina laughed cheerfully and lightly poked my shoulder.
「……When a man loved by everyone obsesses over the one person who hates him‚ it’s simply a manifestation of conquest desire. He just wants to prove his own correctness by turning me into a ‘believer in light.’」
「……Conquest desire‚ huh. If that’s how it looks‚ then it’s my own immaturity.」
Kyle stopped his fork for a moment and looked at me with a serious expression.
「But I don’t want to learn ‘correctness’ from you. I just want you to share‚ even a little‚ the muddy‚ abyssal scenery you see.」
Those straight‚ brown eyes.
There was none of the “hideous enemy” I had imagined in my delusions. Only an overwhelmingly dazzling ‘goodwill’—like the midday sun itself—mercilessly tried to burn away my servile shadow.
Unable to say anything in return‚ I could only grip the silver fork in my right palm with such hatred that red marks remained‚ as if to overwrite the unpleasant heat left by Kyle’s grasp.
Outside the window‚ the burning vermilion rapidly deepened‚ beginning to repaint the library tower’s silhouette in deep ultramarine. On the table‚ only the remains of the lemon sweets were left.
「——Well then‚ Elina. It’s time to return to the ‘place where light reaches.’ Lady Elise wouldn’t want you to be late for tonight’s prayer ritual.」
Kyle stood up and tightened the sword belt at his waist. That casual remark instantly froze the distorted comfort that had existed until a moment ago.
「……Already? I think it wouldn’t be a sin to peek a little more into the ‘abyss’ of magical studies.」
Elina laughed as if joking‚ but a faint shadow lingered at the edge of her eyes‚ as if reluctant to part with the afterglow of the evening sun.
「It’s not about sin. That fresh magical power of yours is the ‘shield’ that protects the kingdom from calamity. I can’t allow it to be wasted in a dusty place like this.」
Kyle stood beside Elina with unwavering steps and naturally took her hand. The motion overflowed with the justice of a guardian protecting a sanctuary. Yet in the back of my ears echoed the icy declaration Mina had spat out in the corridor a few hours earlier.
（That girl’s ‘free hourglass’ sand is already running low——）
The role of ‘shield’ that Kyle forced upon her was not the heroic tale I had imagined in my delusions. It was another name for the ‘harsh price’ that ground down her freedom and time and offered them to the scales of the kingdom’s peace.
「……I can hear the sound of the hourglass sand falling quite vigorously. Does that brilliant armor of justice of yours even have a function to block the sound of the sand running out?」
With a scrape‚ the tip of the silver fork gripped in my right hand brutally pierced through the blank white page of the half-written record book.
「Sand? Ah‚ you mean the sound of the dust dancing in the library tower. Louis‚ you really do have rich sensitivity.」
——Dust. Yes‚ exactly. This place I once loved and called ‘peace’ must look to a dweller of light like you like nothing more than the bottom of miserable loneliness where dust merely dances.
Kyle innocently affirmed even my past and layered words upon it with absolutely no malice.
「But I must take her back right now so I can show Elina the certain light of ‘tomorrow.’」
Kyle looked straight at me and gave a smile befitting the flawless “embodiment of light.”
「Tomorrow…… Have you ever calculated how much interest is attached to that single word ‘tomorrow’? From my perspective‚ the mission you impose on her looks even more malicious than a demon’s contract that takes the soul as collateral.」
At my thorny words‚ Kyle blinked for a moment as if he couldn’t quite catch up. But he immediately returned his expression to something gentle and absolute‚ as if accepting a “friend’s misunderstanding.”
「You really do have a unique way with words.」
He smiled and brushed off my soul-scraping plea as nothing more than ‘scholarly rhetoric.’
「But I take pride in the fate she was chosen for. Supporting that is the path of knighthood given to me. ……Elina‚ let’s go.」
Kyle urged Elina and headed for the door. The two figures seen from behind‚ bathed in the backlit sunset‚ looked like a perfectly completed painting‚ cruelly showing that no matter how many words I exhausted‚ there was no room for me to interfere in that ‘story.’
Just before the door‚ Elina suddenly stopped. Even as Kyle pulled her by the hand‚ she turned to look at me.
「Louis-kun. ……Next time I’ll bring sweets packed with nothing but the ‘sweet parts.’ I’ve had enough of the bitter ones.」
Her deep-sea-clear blue eyes wavered for just an instant. It may have been the faint scream from the depths of her heart that only I‚ as the ‘observer‚’ could pick up.
Clank. Kyle’s armor rang.
The two stepped out of my sanctuary just like that. Beyond the door‚ into the ‘official history bathed in sunlight’ ruled by the discipline of the royal palace knight order and the laws of the kingdom.
I couldn’t even stand up. I simply stared at the silver gleam of the fork still stabbed into the record book. The ‘goodwill light’ Kyle had unleashed burned deep into my vision‚ and as its aftereffect‚ the heavy curtain of night mercilessly painted over the tower’s air.
With trembling fingers I released the fork and picked up the pen instead. I had to record it. The far too cruel color called ‘justice’ that had now invaded my domain and stolen her away.
The echo of the military boots faded to the bottom of the spiral staircase‚ and the library tower was once again enveloped in a deathly silence.
The orange light that had leaked through the door gap was now swallowed by deep ultramarine‚ and cold shadows began to pool in every corner of the room. The afterecho of the “midday sunlight” Kyle had brought was mercilessly painted over by the curtain of night.
「……Finally‚ it’s quiet again.」
I lowered my gaze to the empty sweets box left on the table.
The clean scent of the wind Kyle had carried and the sweet-and-sour heat Elina had scattered still faintly mingled and lingered there. It was the far too raw body heat of others—something that should never be permitted in the ‘sanctuary.’
Still gripping the pen tightly in my hand‚ I glared distastefully at the silver fork Kyle had used‚ carelessly placed on the other side of the round table.
The unwavering gaze of goodwill he had directed at me as he left. The bottomless arrogance with which he had called me ‘friend’ and even affirmed my shadow as a ‘fresh sight.’
Kyle was the kind of man who would never realize‚ until the day he died‚ just how much he burned away others’ domains with his brilliance. He was the ‘radiant executor who completes the self-righteousness called official history‚’ and even the servile resistance of a shadow dweller like me was transformed into a beautiful passage that colored him.
「……It makes me sick. A noble friend? Don’t make me laugh.」
I turned my gaze back to the ruined record book that I myself had pierced through the blank page moments earlier.
Each time I turned a page‚ the scent of mold and old parchment stabbed my nostrils‚ and my rationality slowly returned to its normal track. Yet the heat of Elina’s waist that clung to my fingertips was no longer a mere remnant of memory. It had become a stain of hideous ‘possessiveness’ that blackened the spirit‚ throbbing like a curse.
She had said she would bring sweets packed with nothing but the “sweet parts” next time.
Perhaps it was her own earnest plea—an attempt to distract‚ with time spent with me‚ from the bitterness of the harsh role imposed upon her‚ the unknown ‘end’ she was heading toward.
I tossed the last remaining lemon sweet that had been lying on the edge of the desk into my mouth.
The moment I bit down‚ the violent bitterness of the peel stabbed my tongue and burned the back of my throat. Far sharper and far more painful than when the three of us had eaten together earlier. It was the taste of despair‚ driving home that I was nothing more than a powerless observer who knew her “hourglass” was about to run out and could do nothing about it.
——No. I am not a man who merely watches.
In today’s ‘observation record’—in the margin next to the page I had just pierced—I wrote the name of one man with unprecedented pressure of the pen.
『Hazardous Phenomenon: Kyle.
Belonging to the royal palace knight order. Emits an extremely high-luminance magical wavelength—the greatest obstacle in observation duties. ……And the most detestable man who carries the “correct answer” of this world on his back.』
The moment I engraved that name in the record book‚ the ‘shadow’ smoldering within me seemed to begin an eerie pulse.
If Kyle was going to take her away to the ‘place of light.’ If he was going to continue consuming her hourglass in the name of ‘justice.’
Then as the ‘poison’ lurking in the darkness of this library tower‚ I would erode the very foundation of his story‚ of the trajectory of light he believed in.
I looked down with cold eyes at the silhouette of the royal capital illuminated by moonlight outside the window.
Continuing the pretense of being an observer might already be at its limit.
The record book still had pure white margins that no one had seen. What should be written there was not the heroic tale Kyle drew. It was the record of a muddy struggle in which I‚ the ‘background‚’ would steal back the color that was her.
「……Tomorrow‚ huh. I’ll be waiting‚ Elina. I alone will accurately record the poison of the sweet sweets you bring.」
I quietly closed the record book and sank into the midnight silence.
Only the bitter aftertaste of lemon continued to burn my parched throat forever.
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