Heavy oak door closed‚ and that violently dazzling 'correct answer' departed.
The library tower once again sank into an empty void that felt as if all air had been drained‚ ringing with tinnitus.
「……Haa. Finally‚ the original peace has returned. With this‚ the disturbance in my magical power wavelength should also settle‚ and my lifespan will be extended by about three hundred years. Isn't that just perfect?」
Toward the empty space‚ I dropped a dry show of bravado and turned back to the chilled desk. However‚ the scent of lemon that clung deep in my lungs continued to tickle my nasal cavity as an inescapable reverberation (ghost).
――Was this tower always this vast?
The place that was once a perfect 'sanctuary' was now nothing more than an 'empty birdcage'. The moonlight streaming in through the window still cast its inorganic silver hue onto the floor‚ but I noticed myself searching for her silver-golden hair among the particles of light and clicked my tongue in annoyance.
Unconsciously‚ my hand reached for the backrest of the chair where she always sat.
As my fingertips slid across it‚ I was assaulted by an illusion of unnatural heat‚ different from the coldness of old wood. The place where she sat‚ swung her legs‚ and fluttered her white garments. The faint roughness transmitted to my fingertips carried a vivid moistness as if it had absorbed her body heat‚ inviting my fingers.
I moved my fingers as if tracing the lingering traces of the soft weight of the girl who had been there just moments ago. In my mind‚ those moist blue eyes that had stared at me from close range in the gap between bookshelves flickered with a burning vividness. Her hot breath that had brushed my collarbone continued to scorch the surface of my skin even now.
「……What bad taste. To think that the absence of the specimen would disturb my thoughts this much.」
As if shaking off the heat‚ I gently scooped up the small fragment still clinging to the bottom of the empty box on the edge of the round table— the tiny remains of the lemon confectionery she had left behind.
What should have been golden in color looked‚ under the moonlight‚ like nothing more than a hopelessly dull gray.
I put it in my mouth and slowly dissolved it on my tongue as if in prayer.
「……っ」
There was no taste.
The intense sourness that had forcibly repainted my world that day‚ nor the melting sweetness—none of it was there. Only the dry‚ tasteless sensation like licking sand passed down my throat.
In my world‚ which had lost its color (Erina)‚ even the remnants of the highest-grade confectionery seemed to degrade into nothing more than inorganic matter.
I looked down at the night view of the royal capital spreading outside the window with cold eyes.
What Kyle had taken away was not just one girl. The 'color of the world' that I had finally begun to recognize—the justice knight had unknowingly stolen it under the grand pretext of the 'shrine maiden's duty'.
「……Just you wait‚ Kyle. The price for the 'color' you took from me…… I will make you pay with that dazzling 'official history' you all worship.」
The tip of the pen I gripped struck the blank page sharply‚ as if carving in the unfulfilled hunger.
Late at night. The heavy oak door of the library tower opened with a faint‚ somewhat hesitant sound.
It was neither a raid by the righteous military boots like Kyle's nor footsteps accompanied by a spring storm like Erina's. It was a careful‚ almost fragilely modest footstep that paid utmost attention not to disturb the night's silence.
I‚ who had been stabbing the pen into the blank paper and glaring at the spreading black ink as if cursing it‚ felt irritation at that faint sound and slowly raised my face.
「……Who is it? This should be the time when only moonlight and mold are moving.」
I cast my still prickly gaze into the darkness. At the entrance‚ a girl with long‚ neatly arranged black hair stood hesitantly yet with unshakable respect.
「……I’m sorry. Please excuse me for visiting so late at night.」
A voice so modest it seemed it might fade away‚ yet sincere and polite.
She bowed deeply at a near-right angle‚ then approached the round table without waiting for my reply.
Her face illuminated by the moonlight looked familiar. It was the girl who tended the unpopular flowerbed alone on the north side of the academy. Sasha‚ I think.
She did not try to make eye contact with me and placed the basket she was carrying in her arms onto the edge of the desk with the care of handling fragile objects.
Inside were the box of confectionery Kyle had brought‚ and clean white cloths neatly folded for collecting the soiled tea utensils.
「……Are you the knight’s maid or something? Unfortunately‚ that dazzling man has already left long ago. If it’s trash‚ there’s a pile of it on that round table.」
「……No. I am not someone who serves him. However…… it is my role to restore the places he passes through to their original state.」
As Sasha said this‚ she began neatly folding the box with her slender fingertips. Her gestures were so humble that they even conveyed a tenderness as if handling a protective charm. I leaned back against the chair and vaguely observed the movement of her hands as an 'observer'. A girl who came alone in the middle of the night to quietly clean up the glittering trash scattered by the 'canon' known as Kyle.
「……You go to the trouble of cleaning up the protagonist’s remains at this hour. What hard work. ……Even if you didn’t‚ that guy would shine on his own.」
「……That is my pride.」
Sasha stopped her hands for a moment and answered without turning around.
「……So that no unnecessary things remain on the path he walks. I’m just cleaning up.」
Deep within her excessively polite honorific speech‚ I sensed a faint but definite 'heat'. It was not the dazzling light of justice that Kyle emitted‚ but an obsession like charcoal quietly burning underground.
Suddenly‚ my eyes stopped on her right hand as she tried to collect the box.
The moonlight sharply highlighted her white fingertips in pale blue. At every joint‚ there were countless small burn scars—red and swollen‚ or white and hardened—scattered like a star chart‚ different from magic ink stains.
「……What is that? Those miserable hands. Did you get bathed in sparks from the knight’s sword? Or are you just clumsy?」
「Eh……? Ah‚ this is……」
Sasha hurriedly pulled her sleeve to hide her hand. But my eyes did not miss the faint traces of 'white powder' remaining between her nails.
The moment burns and wheat flour connected‚ the intense bitterness of that lemon that Erina had once laughingly offered‚ saying 'My secret friend baked it for me'‚ revived like a phantom in the back of my throat.
「……I see. The identity of the specimen has finally become clear. The one baking those sweets wasn’t Erina or the palace chef. It was you.」
She froze as if bound‚ and from the gap in her long black hair‚ she directed a gaze mixed with confusion and shame toward me.
「……How did you……」
「Just as ink stains don’t come off no matter how much you wash‚ the hands of the maker eloquently tell of their labors. These fingertips of mine are also dyed this unhealthy blue as a result of being steeped in ink and loneliness.」
I deliberately exposed my stained fingertips to the moonlight.
「……We match‚ don’t we? Your burns and my ink. They are the backstage certificates for the protagonists to receive applause on stage.」
Sasha stared intently at my fingertips‚ then slowly looked again at her hidden hand. A bit of unnecessary tension drained from her shoulders.
「……Lord Louie. Excuse me‚ but I thought you were a much colder person.」
「The cold ones are the stone walls of this tower and my personality. Unfortunately‚ I have no hobby of fraternizing with fellow background characters. ……Sasha. May I ask one thing? Why were those sweets so 'bitter'?」
At my question‚ she stopped the hand wrapping the tea utensils and cast her gaze down into the deep night’s silence.
「……The reason those sweets were bitter‚ you ask.」
Sasha gripped the handle of the basket tightly and lowered her gaze to the shadow on the floor. The stagnant air of the library tower faintly trembled with a single breath from her.
「……One reason is my own selfishness. Lord Kyle is always so dazzling and righteous…… He accepts even the sweets baked by someone like me with a flawless smile. That was unbearably frightening.」
「Frightening? There was someone besides me who felt fear from being thanked by such a 'walking sun'. New discovery. The margins in my record book won’t be enough.」
I threw in sarcasm‚ but Sasha did not deny it.
The profile peeking through her long black hair carried a precarious transparency like white porcelain exposed to the night’s chill.
「……I wanted to mix just a tiny bit of 'myself' as noise into that flavor.
Even as a foreign object‚ I wanted to leave proof that I existed in his story.
That’s why I left the bitterness strong.
……Even for just a moment. If he frowned‚ that would have been enough. It’s a prayer that he will never understand in his lifetime.」
Within the excessively polite honorifics‚ a sticky melted obsession.
It had a color astonishingly similar to the ugly jealousy I held toward Kyle.
We were not even 'background' to color the story of light. We were merely shadows stuck to the feet.
「……That’s not all‚ is it? Erina said she was 'saved' by the bitterness of those sweets. That she affirmed even your ego.」
「……No. The other reason was a request from Lady Erina herself.」
Sasha’s voice grew especially small and trembled.
Outside the window‚ clouds covered the moon. As the tower sank into deep ultramarine‚ only her words became a sharp blade gouging my eardrums.
「'Make it more bitter'. Lady Erina always told me that. 'Because if it’s sweet‚ I won’t want to go back anymore. ……The tower’s quietness‚ and Louie-kun’s warmth――'」
（……Warmth‚ she said?）
My thoughts blanked for a moment‚ and only the coldness of the night wind blowing in from the window strangely stroked my skin. Without waiting for my silence‚ Sasha quietly continued.
「'――I might end up loving them too much. So please give me the most bitter sweets to pull me back to reality'…… she said.」
――It was a shock as if thick‚ pitch-black ink had been splashed onto the 'record book' I had been coldly filling.
In my mind‚ the words Erina had left revived.
'I’ll bring sweets packed with only sweeter parts next time. I’ve had enough of the bitter ones.'
……That was not simply a wish for flavor.
It was a stake she drove in so she wouldn’t drown in her days with me‚ as she was being crushed by the heavy responsibility of the 'shrine maiden of divine oracle'.
「……っ‚ Ridiculous. That girl was laughing so much‚ even humming……」
「……She probably had no choice but to laugh. If she didn’t‚ she would have taken Lord Louie’s hand―― and run away.」
At Sasha’s words‚ I felt an intense thirst as if the back of my throat was burning.
What I had been 'observing' was not her innocence and cheerfulness.
It was the curse toward the role of 'shrine maiden' that she desperately suppressed and tried to hide by coating it with bitterness‚
and her…… unspoken wish toward me of 'please take me away from here' that she could never voice.
The lemon scent lingering deep in my lungs now became a heartrending creak as if her “hourglass” was shattering from within‚ disturbing my reason.
「'Louie-kun always eats those bitter sweets until the very end‚' Lady Erina said with great joy.
……So I thought…… perhaps you would pick up the true taste at the bottom of that bitterness.
I was thinking that on my own.」
A single tear she shed reflected the moonlight and shone silver.
We had shared an all-too-bitter secret in a place unknown to the protagonists. It was the beginning of an inescapable complicity‚ like cold hands joining at the bottom of the abyss—something only the shadow dwellers shared‚ never to be carved into the 'official history'.
「……I am just 'background' who does not appear in Lord Kyle’s story.」
Sasha showed a smile that was self-mocking yet somehow refreshing. Her slender fingertips lovingly traced the empty confectionery box.
「My name and these burn scars are not things for anyone to know.
……It’s enough if the corners of the path he walks are just a little bit tidier.」
「……'Background'‚ huh. I’m tired of hearing that word.」
Naturally‚ my fingertips were tapping the 'record book' still spread open on the desk.
Normally‚ I would have unhesitatingly run the pen I had stabbed into this blank paper.
'Specimen: Sasha.
A distorted shadow psychology that expresses devoted unrequited love toward the target as taste noise (bitterness).'
I would have scribbled that in one line‚ turned her into inorganic 'data'‚ incorporated her as part of my 'sanctuary'‚ and that would be the end.
「……I thought Lord Louie was also someone who could not go to the “other side” like me. That’s why I ended up saying unnecessary things.」
「……I want to say don’t lump me together with you.
Unfortunately‚ it seems I too have been burned by that sun and am on the side where I can no longer see properly.」
「Fufu‚ Lord Louie is truly kind‚ aren’t you.」
「……In what way? I recommend a visit to the ophthalmologist. Isn’t your vision contaminated by wheat flour powder or something?」
I threw sharp sarcasm‚ but she showed no surprise and simply gazed at me quietly.
I felt unpleasant‚ as if the eyes deep within her black hair easily saw through the facade of my 'observer'.
Her slender fingertips folded prayer-like at her chest and her anxious gaze waiting for my answer. The heavy weight of that heartrending silence quietly filled the tower’s air.
Unable to resist the heat of that defenseless wish――
I pulled out the pen I had stabbed in‚
and―― deliberately‚ slowly closed the open page.
The dry sound of *patan* was absorbed into the tower’s silence.
「……I won’t write it.」
「Eh……?」
「I won’t put your name or the reason for those burns into my 'data'.
……Those are not things to be recorded.」
Sasha’s eyes widened greatly in surprise.
As if chasing the lingering lemon scent at her fingertips‚ I faintly stirred my nasal cavity. The fragments of that bitter time she baked for Kyle and Erina brought for me.
「Your burns and her bitterness――
……I won’t record them. I will remember them myself.」
「Lord…… Louie……」
A single droplet that was about to overflow from Sasha’s eyes shone silver as it caught the moonlight.
It was the moment I accepted the feelings of the 'margin dweller' who was supposed to go unrecognized by anyone and remain in no one’s memory.
The lemon scent drifting in the library tower was thicker and gentler than ever before‚ swaying in the space for just the two of us. For those cut off from the story of light‚ it was there‚ wordlessly.
Sasha’s presence sank to the bottom of the spiral staircase‚ and the library tower once again fell into bone-chilling silence.
「……Mutual wound-licking between fellow shadow dwellers doesn’t suit my 'record book'…….
……Yet only the heat of those burns strangely remains.」
The soliloquy bounced off the empty stone walls and disappeared as a quiet reverberation.
The empty confectionery box left on the desk.
The lemon ghost that crawled out from it was still shaving away at my reason.
It felt as if the 'stake of rejection' she had driven into herself was gouging out my entrails with the opposite hand.
An all-too-clumsy and heartrending defense instinct to prevent our time together from becoming a 'place she wouldn’t want to leave'.
「……Don’t make me laugh‚ Erina.
There’s no way something like that has value.」
A sticky‚ hot mass began to throb ominously deep in my chest.
Erina’s scream that Sasha had revealed——the words 'please take me away from here' would not leave my head.
In response‚ the emotions that had settled inside me turned into a pitch-black rampage.
The kingdom’s peace‚ built upon chaining the 'shrine maiden of divine oracle' with cramped shackles‚ made me want to vomit.
「……I don’t need it. I’ll paint over that entire hypocritical scenario.」
I roughly pulled the inkwell on the desk closer and soaked it with 'black' thicker than ever before.
And I set my course toward the bottom of darkness.
What I wanted was not light.
It was 'poison' to rot the kingdom’s reason.
I opened again the 'record book' I had just closed and sharply glared at the blank page.
The place I should head was not the exit.
……It was further down.
If Kyle used her as a shield of just cause in the place of 'light'‚ then I would become an invader in the depths of darkness‚ turning the world itself into my enemy.
I would make you pay for defiling my 'sanctuary' with the collapse of the 'official history' you believe in.
I gripped the pen dripping with ink and began scribbling the 'frays' in the kingdom’s history and magic system onto the page as if weaving a curse.
「……The lukewarm vow of 'I’ll dirty it someday' is over. Tonight‚ from this desk——I will draw the blueprint of rebellion‚ pouring a lethal dose of poison into the foundation of the kingdom’s 'official history'.」
As the night deepened outside the window‚ in the library tower‚ only the sound of the pen scraping paper continued without stopping.
（Chapter 04 End）
```
|