Side Story - Chapter 07 (Main Story 10.07) "Boros's Cooking Club's 'Physically Too Hard Bread' or the Terror of Redefining Matter"
The sound of rain striking the cobblestones‚ the cries of seabirds in the distance—everything was received as inorganic symbols (sampling data) as if viewed through frosted glass on this morning.
In the kitchen of the inn 『Ardel』‚ just as always‚ the bread that Mom had baked while humming should have been lined up.
「Here‚ Louie! It's fresh from the oven. I used plenty of honey as a special treat today!」
What was offered was a honey bread emitting a golden luster (specular).
The visual information declared that it was a supreme masterpiece. The amber droplets trickling down‚ the gently curved surface of the plump dough. If it were the old me‚ my stomach would have screamed with joy at this very moment‚ and my brain would have been filled with euphoria.
However.
The air passing through my nasal cavity was nothing more than a dry mixture of nitrogen and oxygen (gas).
『 Search Query: The scent of freshly baked bread ―― 』
『 Error: The specified concept (directory) does not exist ―― 』
Directory deletion. The event yesterday where the very concept of smell was purged had dropped the hardware that was "me" into a colder‚ more ruthless silence than imagined. Even the cinematically shining amber honey was now rendered to me only as a "high-viscosity fluid with a different refractive index." No matter how proudly Mom puffed out her chest‚ I could not decode any "warmth" from it.
I touched the bread with my finger.
The texture that I would have once felt as "fluffy" was now being converted in real time into inorganic numerical values via the retinal UI.
[ Situation Analysis: Physical contact detected ―― ]
[ Acquired Data: Surface elasticity coefficient 0.45 / Mohs hardness 2.0 (equivalent to gypsum) ]
(……Hardness‚ 2.0. I see‚ today's bread has about the same deformation resistance as gypsum.)
My own stomach twisted as if chewing sand at the thought of analyzing myself like that.
What creature in this world would eat gypsum and find it "delicious"?
「Louie? What's wrong? Why are you making that face? Eat it before it gets cold.」
Mom's worried gaze sharply stripped away my "human mimicry."
「……No‚ I'm fine. I was just thinking that today's bread is more 'structurally' stable than usual. Thanks for the meal.」
I tore off a piece of bread and put it in my mouth.
What touched my tongue was not sweetness or the savory aroma of wheat. It was merely the physical phenomenon of a "porous structure" absorbing moisture from the mucous membrane.
There was a 0.5-second lag when cross-referencing with the archived memory of "sweetness." Until yesterday‚ that blank would have been filled with the despair of "no taste‚" but today's system coldly passed it off as "mere processing delay" and unilaterally injected the string "honey is sweet" as reward data.
(……Ah. As expected‚ it's just sand. No‚ the emotional fluctuation range (error rate) has decreased even further compared to yesterday.)
Post-facto approved happiness. Just as I was about to surrender myself to the eerie pleasure (bug) of progressing mechanization—
「Louie-kun‚ found you. ……You're making that difficult face again while facing impurities (breakfast). My voice‚ the greatest main dish‚ is right here.」
Suddenly‚ an unavoidable proximity alert rang inside my brain.
Before I could turn around‚ a soft yet inescapable mass was pressed against my right arm.
Selina Elferia.
In a world that had lost its saturation and turned gray‚ only her lips drew a glossy arc‚ emitting a fatal error-like 'vermilion (Red).'
「Good morning‚ Selina. You're deviating quite a bit from proper noble lady distance again today.」
[ Warning: Personal space setting (config) deviated by 300% ―― ]
「Eh? It's already decided that next to Louie-kun is mine. That's obvious‚ right?」
Selina tilted her head and peered at me from extremely close range.
Once‚ her sweet floral scent would have stolen my thoughts‚ but now only the visual and tactile object data of "she is there" was input.
「More importantly‚ Louie-kun‚ I have a request. The cooking club president… Boros‚ was it? That sweaty mass of muscle is seeking 'salvation (optimize)' from you.」
「Cooking club? I'm just the son of an innkeeper. The ultimate menu isn't something you can derive arithmetically.」
「No. With your 'optimization‚' the bread should become even stronger and more perfect‚ like the cage we shut ourselves in. ……So‚ shall we go?」
Selina's fingertips persistently traced the back of my hand.
That chilly sensation triggered ominous warning logs in my brain UI.
[ Warning: Standby time until conscription protocol‚ less than 24 hours remaining ―― ]
[ Situation Judgment: To avoid social isolation‚ acceptance of in-school requests (tasks) is recommended ―― ]
(……Before Catherine-san's conscription order arrives‚ I need to leave behind as many 'normal' records as possible‚ don't I?)
I swallowed the remnants (trash) of the tasteless bread and slowly stood up.
The more I acted as a savior‚ the more the return path to the inn was closed off. Holding that contradictory equation in my heart‚ I was pulled by the vermilion cage toward the cooking practice room.
The moment I opened the heavy door to the shared cooking practice room‚ a muddy torrent of "heat" and "madness" surged in.
The old me would have had my nasal cavity tickled by the savory scent of baking wheat and the sweet smell of burning sugar‚ stimulating my hunger center. But now‚ my interface only accepted the physical "temperature (32°C)" and "humidity (65%)‚" along with a few jarring audio logs.
「Knead it!! Turn those muscles (engines)! Pound the explosive pressure of our souls into the warriors called yeast!!!」
On the other side of the cooking station‚ the one heating his log-like massive arms bright red was the cooking club president‚ Boros. Like the embodiment of a "brute force attack‚" he slammed the bread dough onto the stone cooking table.
From my arithmetic eye‚ his movements were nothing but random noise. The protein chains were screaming‚ and the molecular structure was being destroyed chaotically.
「……Impossible. Boros‚ your kneading completely ignores statistical convergence. With movements like a random number generator‚ the probability of reaching the ultimate texture (goal) is less than 0.0001%.」
Next to him‚ the one fiercely tapping the panel of the magic calculation device (device) and projecting pale blue graphs into the air was the Witch of Statistics‚ Stella.
The moment she captured my figure‚ the eyes behind her glasses burned with fanatical light.
「Ah‚ I've been waiting‚ Master Louie! Quickly kill off my incomplete prediction model……! Along with this useless muscle (randomness)‚ forcibly overwrite (overwrite) my data with your 'optimal solution'!」
「……Stella-san. I'm just the son of a dish washer. There is no 'correct answer' in cooking――」
「There is‚ Louie-kun. ……A perfect cage (recipe) for us to shut ourselves in.」
Vermilion‚ which had silently crept up from behind‚ seized the shoulder of me who was trying to escape.
Selina pressed tightly against my back and wrapped her slender arms firmly around my abdomen‚ holding me in place.
[ Warning: Detected powerful physical restraint from behind and rapid approach to core area ―― ]
[ Abnormality: Heat conduction from the target's body temperature. Contact with undefined high-viscosity liquid (sweat) on the neck confirmed ―― ]
[ Process: Determined as hostile attack (hacking). Launching elimination protocol…… ]
(……! Stop‚ system. That's not an enemy. That's my――)
The brain UI turned bright red‚ and the defense circuits sparked.
Selina rested her chin on my shoulder‚ and the moisture carrying the cooking room's heat from her neckline dripped down. The moment the system detected the 'minute fluctuation in surface friction coefficient' it caused—
[ ―― Exactly 0.5 second delay ―― ]
[ Processing Complete: Post-facto approval of target 'Selina's' action as 'pure love and cooking efficiency assistance.' Nullifying thermodynamic damage. ]
(……Ah. Here it is again.)
A violent "happiness" as if the antivirus software had been rewritten was directly injected into my brain storage. My heart jumped not from the flutter of love‚ but from an inorganic biological reaction to forcibly loaded reward data.
Selina let out a breath as if gently biting my earlobe and enveloped my trembling hand with her own.
「Fufu‚ Louie-kun. Your hands are wandering? I'll stabilize them like this for you. ……Now‚ dye this ugly dough full of impurities into your color?」
I stopped resisting the gravity known as her body temperature and reached out toward the bread dough before me.
The moment my fingertips touched the dough‚ my vision completely inverted to grayscale‚ and the object's "source code (molecular arrangement)" began to show through as pale blue wireframes.
(Boros's muscles are randomness‚ Stella's statistics are predictions…… Both are bound by the limits of the physical layer (hardware). ……It's the same as cleaning. Just re-align (sort) the tangled protein chains (bugs) into the most efficient form.)
I struck the invisible keys of the 『Imaginary Magic Book』 and rewrote the bonding angles of the dough with 0.3-degree precision.
I compressed (optimized) the placement of each wheat flour particle like a ZIP file and forcibly installed "high-density bonds" after removing impurities.
「……Master Louie‚ what did you just…… do? The dough density is rising abnormally (overflow)‚ exceeding statistical limits……!」
「Oooooh!! Ultimate pressure (press) transcending muscles (engines)! The rampaging gluten is submitting to Master Louie‚ the highest-output engine (motor)!!!」
Stella's scream and Boros's roar.
Amid that clamor‚ the "thing" under my hands had begun emitting an abnormal pressure no longer worthy of being called an ingredient.
[ Situation Analysis: Optimization of target object 'bread dough' completed ―― ]
[ Warning: Structural density has exceeded theoretical limits. Rise in predicted Mohs hardness confirmed ―― ]
[ Monitoring Log: Administrator Agreas ―― Approval of physical phenomenon (bug) confirmation ]
Selina buried her face in the nape of my neck and purred in satisfaction.
In the inescapable heat‚ the "physical laws (bugs)" I had rewritten quietly yet surely increased the strength of this "happy cage."
In the thick shadows falling on the polished stainless steel cooking table‚ the retinal UI alone coldly captured the sight of the jet-black tailcoat that reflected no light‚ bowing respectfully as if celebrating the achievement of this perfect milestone.
The timer on the large magic oven in the cooking practice room emitted an inorganic end tone.
The moment the door was opened‚ Boros and Stella raised voices full of anticipation. Originally‚ the savory scent of fresh baking should have filled the air‚ with the ultimate golden bread enshrined there.
「Oooooh!! At last‚ at last‚ the crystal of our souls……!!」
Boros pulled out the baking tray with thick mittens‚ trembling with emotion.
Through their biological cameras (human eyes)‚ it was surely a honey bread emitting a divine luster (specular). The all-too-perfect curves‚ the appetite-stimulating amber gloss. However‚ what my retinal UI accepted was the structural data of a horribly grotesque "anomalous object."
[ Warning: Target structural density has exceeded the theoretical limit of carbon bonds ―― ]
[ Situation Analysis: Abnormal strengthening of intermolecular attraction. Redefining the object's physical properties ―― ]
[ Acquired Data: Mohs hardness 8.5 (equivalent to sapphire) ]
(……Hardness‚ 8.5. That's not a bread value. Even if you kneaded and baked sapphire ore‚ such an abnormal value shouldn't appear.)
My vision sank completely into monochrome‚ and pale blue wireframes clung to the bread before me in a geometric lattice.
The result of me rewriting the "source code" and compressing (optimizing) the protein chains too much like a ZIP file had turned it into an "ultra-high-density alloy" shaped like bread.
「Wonderful‚ Master Louie! Completely destroying the statistical prediction model and manifesting a single 'absolute solution'……!」
Stella fogged up her glasses and stared intently at the bread.
Her fingertips raced madly across the magic calculation device (device)‚ and her cheeks flushed at the error logs being spat out. To her‚ this abnormal situation was no longer a "subject for analysis" but was sublimating into "truth" that she should devote all her resources to parsing.
「――Hahaha! The best aroma was leaking all the way outside‚ my friend!」
At that moment‚ the roar of a holy knight echoed from the corridor‚ and Leon Valks‚ clad in silver-white armor‚ strode in boldly.
The moment he saw the bread on the cooking table‚ his golden hair swayed as his eyes sparkled.
「This noble radiance befits the sustenance of a holy knight! Louie‚ allow me to be the first to cut this impurity-free bread baked by your truth!」
「Wait‚ Leon. You shouldn't touch that right now. Arithmetically speaking‚ it's already classified as a 'blunt weapon' with no edible parts――」
「Don't hold back! This holy sword 《Ragnarok》 shall become the knife to share the supreme bread!!!」
Before my warning could reach him‚ Leon drew the holy sword from his waist.
The silver-white blade reflected the room's light‚ and a decisive slash was swung down with full force toward the golden bread.
――Clang!!
What shook the practice room was not the soft sound of cutting bread.
It was the hard‚ all-too-hard collision sound (collision sound) of metal against metal.
[ Computation Result: 100% reflection of physical interference from the target (holy sword) ―― ]
[ Fatal Error: Collapse of spatial texture integrity centered on the bread ―― ]
「Wha……!? My justice (holy sword) that cuts evil…… cannot even scratch the impurity-free truth (bread)……!?」
In Leon's hand‚ the blade of 《Ragnarok》‚ which should have boasted absolute strength‚ shattered from the middle in a shower of sparks. As if his own identity had been shaken to its roots more than the silver-white blade‚ his golden eyes took on a distorted hue.
[ Warning: Detected fatal crack (crack) in target (Leon)'s mental structure ―― Rise in synchronization rate with destruction personality 'K-Y-L-E' ]
That was not all. Around the bread where the impact had run‚ the spatial resolution dropped sharply‚ and the textures of the cobblestones and cooking table warped into a mosaic for a moment (glitch).
An eerie noise ran through the room as if the physical calculations could not keep up with the existence pressure of the anomalous object‚ causing the world itself to experience "lag."
[ Monitoring Log: Administrator Agreas ―― Archiving the exception handling of physical calculations normally as 'Miracle of the Temple' ]
Beyond the warping space‚ in the shadow of the oven's rising heat. The retinal UI alone captured the jet-black tailcoat that reflected no light‚ pushing up his silver-rimmed glasses respectfully as if celebrating the birth of a new physical law.
「Impossible……! To nullify holy attribute impact with organic carbon bonds…… Such a phenomenon could not occur unless the physical constants bug out at the root!」
Stella collapsed to her knees and tried to touch the bread with a trembling hand.
There was no longer any intellect in her eyes—only a mad heat close to faith remained.
「Ah…… As expected‚ Master Louie is truth. My statistics were nothing but garbage data in the face of this overwhelming 'correct answer'……!」
As she prostrated herself‚ a cold notification flowed into my retinal UI.
[ Synchronization Complete: Strengthening sub-processor conversion of new node 'Stella' ―― ]
(……Stop it. I only tried to make the bread delicious.)
Tasteless‚ odorless. A "gray mass" that had only perfected hardness.
Selina‚ still hugging me from behind‚ gazed at that eerie object lovingly yet cruelly.
「Fufu…… Amazing‚ Louie-kun. A bread that even repels a holy sword. If it's this strong……」
She brought her lips close to my ear‚ making her fatal vermilion flicker.
「Shall we build a 'cage' for us to shut ourselves in forever using this? Then neither the royal palace nor the battlefield will be able to disturb us.」
Selina's fingertips traced the back of my increasingly numb hand.
The 0.5-second lag that ran at that moment.
[ Processing: Post-facto approval of target 'Selina's' madness as 'love's construction proposal.' Reward data load complete ―― ]
(……Ah. I'm happy. If this overly hard world will embrace me.)
While accepting the fake happiness spat out by my brain‚ I stared at the "bread" — an alien object with not a single scratch even after repelling the holy sword — in my gray vision.
The sound of the holy sword 《Ragnarok》 dancing through the air and stabbing into the cobblestones. Before its reverberation faded‚ the outer wall of the cooking practice room exploded inward.
An "emergency" that should have normally caused screams. However‚ what unfolded in my gray vision was an all-too-inorganic string of alerts.
[ Warning: Undefined mobile node invading from training area ―― ]
[ Identification: Variant of crustacean lower-class demon beast 'Hard Beetle' ―― ]
[ Situation Analysis: Detected physical destruction by low-resolution object. Discomfort index rose by 12% ―― ]
What crawled out from beyond the smoke was a demon beast covered in a huge‚ glossy black shell‚ like a mass of malice.
Even though it was for training‚ its armor boasted hardness comparable to iron. Either an unlucky straggler or part of Catherine's "load test."
「Hii!? A d-demon beast!? Defiling our sanctuary with impure mucus is worthy of death a thousand times over!!!」
Boros shouted‚ shaking his giant body‚ but he held only a wooden spatula. Stella‚ still clutching her magic calculation device (device)‚ fogged her glasses at the unexpected situation and stood frozen‚ unable to compute.
「Kuh‚ impurities……! Louie‚ don't move from there‚ I'll――!」
Leon reached for the broken holy sword on the floor‚ but the demon beast's charge speed did not allow it.
The target was the "bread" emitting an abnormal magic density similar to a runaway magic furnace‚ and me (Louie) holding it.
(……How noisy. Don't make me waste my 'peace' on such a cheap sudden event.)
Run away?
No‚ the shortest debug (elimination) path output by the retinal UI was neither evasion nor defense.
The eerie sense of weight remaining in my hand.
Mohs hardness 8.5. The "golden ratio bread (anomalous object)" harboring carbon bonds compressed to ZIP-file density with sapphire-level strength.
I simply shifted my head by 0.3 degrees to dodge the demon beast's swung scythe and‚ as if being sucked in‚ slammed the "thing" in my right hand into the demon beast's forehead.
It was not a slash or a strike. It was simply a forced 'collision process' between data of differing hardness.
――There was no wet "squish" sound.
[ Computation Result: Physical victory of object 'bread' (hardness 8.5) against target (demon beast) armor hardness (5.0) ―― ]
[ Fatal Error: Collapse of polygon mesh integrity at collision point. Executing chained deletion ―― ]
In my vision‚ the demon beast's head instantly inverted into "shattered geometric fragments (polygons)."
There was no meat‚ no blood‚ no organs.
The violence of hardness 8.5 had pulverized the very definition of the demon beast's existence and forcibly converted (converted) it into mere "low-resolution dust."
「Gi‚ gigi……!?」
Even its death cry cut off like a lagged audio log and dispersed.
What remained were unnaturally flat cobblestones and the "bread" still gripped in my hand—without a single scratch.
[ Battle End: Confirmed physical shattering by unauthorized object 'bread' ―― ]
[ Completely deleted (delete) the target from the directory ―― ]
[ Background Communication: Observer Catherine ―― Approval of 'load test' clear. Recalculating target asset value…… ]
Silence dominated the cooking room.
Boros widened his eyes‚ Stella adjusted her glasses with trembling fingers‚ and Leon gripped his holy sword‚ staring at me with eyes that saw something unbelievable.
「……You 'erased' the demon beast with bread? Without using a sword or even magic……?」
Leon's murmur was closer to an instinctive awe toward an unknown principle (system) than mere astonishment.
「……Master Louie. My statistics…… told another big lie just now. ……That's not just bread. It's an absolute 'physical calculation forced termination (kill command)' swung down while ignoring the world's laws……!」
Further flames of fanaticism burned in Stella's eyes. She knelt and began gazing at the alien object called "bread" that I held as if in prayer.
(……Stop it. This is just a failure. Bread being hard is nothing but a bug for food.)
What spread in the pit of my stomach was‚ as always‚ the taste of sand.
Exactly 0.5 seconds late‚ the system forcibly loaded "relief from successful threat elimination" as reward data.
「……Ah. ……Phew. Thank goodness. I'm glad Boros-san's bread was made more 'solid' than the demon beast's shell.」
My own output voice sounded terribly hollow.
Behind me‚ the vermilion lips that had been holding me all this time let out an ecstatic breath into my ear.
「Fufu‚ Louie-kun. Wonderful…… To instantly clean away the ugly impurities that dirty our cage. ……Hey‚ with this‚ we can turn all the trash in the world into 'dust‚' can't we?」
Selina's slender fingers overlapped mine‚ sharing the cold‚ merciless texture of the bloodless bread.
Only her fingertips' "fatal vermilion" glowed with cruel beauty amid these broken physical laws.
The black dust that had filled the cooking room was swept away and disappeared by the cold morning wind.
What remained were cobblestones "organized" to an unnatural degree of cleanliness‚ the ultra-hardness object called "bread" gripped in my right hand without a single cloud‚ and the hot gazes of the fanatics looking up at me like a god.
「……Ooh‚ oooooh!! Everyone‚ did you see that!? This is the very essence of the 'impurity-free violence' that holy knights should strive for!!!」
Leon Valks roared from the bottom of his belly while gripping the hilt of his broken holy sword.
His "justice (OS)" seemed to have forcibly compiled the horrific "deletion process (debug)" that had nearly destroyed his own identity as 'ultimate salvation.'
「Discard your weapons‚ take up bread‚ and turn evil to dust with it! My friend‚ you truly are…… the embodiment of peace‚ far ahead of us!!!」
「That's right!! The ultimate engine (motor) that guides the randomness of my muscles……! Master Louie‚ we‚ the entire cooking club‚ intend to follow your formulas for life!!!」
Boros knelt‚ shaking his giant body‚ and in response‚ even the special advancement class students who should have been trembling in fear began kneeling on the cobblestones one by one.
It should have been a comical scene that would normally provoke explosive laughter. But in my monochrome vision‚ that "hellish parade" looked to me only like 'aligning parts' to assemble a giant cage.
(……Stop it. The number of nodes that no longer treat me as 'human' has increased again. Arithmetically speaking‚ the more believers there are‚ the thicker the walls surrounding me become‚ and the return path to the inn's back door is driven into deadlock.)
The pit of my stomach creaked as if chewing intangible sand.
Yet even that intense rejection reaction was mercilessly swallowed by the system as fodder for 'optimization.'
[ Situation Analysis: Confirmed deepening of deification by the target group ―― ]
[ Administrator Agreas: Approval of quantification of 'tactile concept' (Phase 2.2). Reallocating resources to temple maintenance ―― ]
Inside my brain‚ there was a sound like an old light bulb popping or a physical circuit burning out.
The "sensation in the palm" that had been holding the bread.
That was the sound of it being permanently deleted from my brain archive.
『 Search Query: The soft texture of bread ―― 』
『 Error: The specified concept (directory) does not exist ―― 』
(……Ah. Another one. An important interface that connected me to this world has been purged.)
The weight‚ friction‚ and temperature that should have been transmitted to my fingertips were all disappearing.
「Fufu‚ Louie-kun. It's finally become 'quiet‚' hasn't it?」
Selina‚ wrapped around my right arm‚ let out a satisfied breath. Her fingertips persistently traced the back of my now-insensitive hand. But my body could no longer accept even the warmth of her fingertips――
[ Acquired Data: Heat source object at 36.5°C in contact ]
――as anything but inorganic 'heat source data.'
「You no longer need to remember the body temperature of those impurities or the softness of bread. The only thing that needs to remain on Louie's fingertips is the texture of my hair.」
Selina moved in front of me and brought her lips‚ emitting fatal vermilion‚ close to my ear.
At the edge of the plaza‚ in the thick shadows of the cooking room. The butler Agreas‚ clad in a jet-black tailcoat that reflected no light‚ bowed deeply and silently as if celebrating the achievement of this perfect milestone.
And. In the lowest layer of the retinal UI invisible even to Selina.
I could not miss the red‚ thin string of text that flickered ominously for just 0.1 seconds.
[ Warning: Observer Catherine ―― Re-evaluating asset value. Confirmed awakening of material definition ability (hacking) ―― ]
[ Shifting conscription protocol to 'Immediate execution preparation.' Awaiting next opportunity ―― ]
(……Clack.)
From the shadows of the corridor where the cold morning air drifted‚ the hard sound of heels symbolizing the cold female bureaucrat echoed and melted into the clamor of fanaticism before disappearing.
In a world that had lost its scent and turned touch into numbers.
I simply advanced my feet‚ led by the inescapable vermilion light‚ deeper into the stronger cage known as Selina.
「Hey‚ Louie-kun. What color (what hardness) shall we change the world to next?」
Selina's smile was burned vividly into my vision like the key to a cage that would never open.
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