Chapter 01「Holy Nude Witch and the Dungeon Conquest Record of Equivalent Exchange」
The vivid colors of the stained glass‚ translucent under the sunlight‚ cast a violently contrasting pattern onto the polished marble floor.
The entrance ceremony of the Royal Academy of Magic. The vast auditorium was enveloped in a whirlwind of excitement and joy from the new students.
"Look‚ a fire spirit!"
"I managed to form a contract with a wind holy beast!"
Particles of light dancing in the air. Fantastic red and blue phosphorescence fluttered wildly around the classmates‚ coloring and illuminating their flushed cheeks. It was a picturesque scene filled with hope and blessings.
Amid that lively uproar‚ there was one fatal empty space left gaping open.
On the cold stone floor‚ a single girl stood alone‚ without any light surrounding her.
Indifferent gazes mixed with pity and mockery pierced her.
"That girl apparently couldn't respond to even a single spirit pillar."
"She was rumored to be a genius who entered at the top of the class. Turns out she's just a dropout."
Whispers mixed with the faint ringing of the chandelier struck the eardrums.
In the midst of that‚ as if stepping out of the circle of light‚ the professor in charge of this year's guidance approached. Pressing his stomach painfully and looking utterly exhausted‚ he let out a deep sigh.
"…As expected‚ it didn't work?"
"Yes."
"Not even one?"
"Not even one."
In contrast to the surrounding clamor‚ a strange silence fell between me and the professor.
To him‚ who directed a complex gaze that was neither sympathy nor disappointment‚ I slightly tilted my head.
"Are you disappointed?"
"No…"
The professor slowly shook his head‚ casting a heavy shadow over his face.
"In your case‚ succeeding might have been a national-level problem."
"…I don't understand what you mean."
"You don't need to. Just please‚ don't activate anything here."
Leaving those words behind‚ the professor retreated back into the crowd as if fleeing.
I recognized that terrified expression. It was the same face he made when I submitted an experiment report on the verge of explosion.
――I don't know what he's afraid of‚ but that's a trivial matter.
Pitying glances don't hurt or itch at all.
I quietly exhaled while running my pen across a thick leather-bound notebook.
Appeasing fire spirits to create flames‚ praying to wind holy beasts to fly through the sky.
What an inefficient‚ outdated system.
Leaving results to the whims of others is a nightmare for a researcher. Why do people so casually accept such uncertain elements?
True magic should be more logical‚ reproducible‚ and consist of equations with minimal error.
Turning the page‚ I traced the secretly accumulated equations with my fingertips.
No contract with spirits is necessary. As long as there is magic power and a 'substance' as compensation‚ phenomena can be altered.
The theory was already complete‚ and some small-scale verification experiments had been conducted.
However‚ one fatal problem emerged here.
I stared intently at the household account book numbers scribbled in the corner of the notebook.
This month's total 'clothing expenses' had already far exceeded the average student's six months of living expenses.
I exhaled deeply.
Last month it was the jacket.
The month before that it was the skirt.
And this month――the consumption of underwear had recorded an abnormally sharp upward trend.
The merciless numbers in the household account book spoke more eloquently than anyone about the results of my research.
What was crazy was not that I had developed a shameless spending habit.
The high-class blouse I had just bought and the well-tailored tight skirt had all 'vanished' at the end of the sorcery.
Equivalent exchange.
A pioneering sorcery theory that pierces the dimensional wall using the clothes wrapping one's body as a catalyst.
As the price for reaching that truth‚ I had fallen into a serious fabric shortage――and consequently‚ a chronic crisis of exhibitionism.
Cheap cotton materials have extremely poor conductivity. The smooth cling of silk to bare skin is what most efficiently channels my magic power. However‚ daily vanishing of top-quality highest-grade silk on a student's budget meant economic ruin.
"…With cheap store-bought socks‚ I could only produce small sparks‚ after all."
My gaze naturally fell to my feet.
A thin scrap of cloth barely clinging directly to my bare legs.
If this disappears in the next experiment‚ my dignity will finally be subject to equivalent exchange.
As a researcher‚ it is a valuable catalyst.
As a human‚ it is also the last bulwark.
Pushing open the heavy door of the dimly lit underground laboratory‚ the dusty smell of parchment and the pungent organic scent of magic liquid filled my lungs.
"You’re late. How was the ceremony? As expected‚ all alone?"
On top of a tall stack of grimoires on the desk‚ a creature like a white daifuku mochi dangled its short legs. Its round red eyes stared at me appraisingly.
"It was the worst. I won't participate in such an irrational mob ever again."
I spat out in annoyance while stripping off my cramped robe.
This thing was a mysterious creature accidentally born a few days ago from the explosion of a spacetime singularity that occurred when I mixed magic liquid with silk scraps.
――I still vividly remember the exchange with the professor who burst in with a changed expression amid the black smoke.
"What happened!?"
"A verification experiment for the new theory."
"Why is a talking mochi with a will born!?"
"I don't know."
"Neither do I…"
Then‚ the white daifuku mochi that appeared from the smoke casually raised one hand.
"Nice to meet ya. I'm Toto."
"…It increased."
The professor clutching his head and collapsing while rubbing his already aching stomach is deeply etched in my memory. It was an expression of pure dumbfoundedness‚ robbed even of the energy to get angry.
"You couldn't contract even one spirit again‚ huh. You've got a good head‚ so if you'd just be a bit more friendly…"
"It's unnecessary. My 'Dimensional Equivalent Magic' has already entered the verification stage without borrowing the favor of capricious spirits."
"Ah‚ that thing where your clothes disappear. That's seriously bad cost performance."
This familiar-like being I named Toto accurately pointed out my sore spots in a strange Kansai-like accent. It (he?) seemed to lack emotional fluctuations‚ and its extremely rational thinking sometimes showed even more coldness than mine.
"…It's not a cost performance issue. It's the principle of equivalent exchange. To rewrite phenomena‚ a material catalyst of corresponding value is indispensable."
"Even so‚ getting completely naked every time you use the spell is stupid."
"That's why! I'm going to perform precise output adjustments today to prevent that! For a mere failed product‚ you sure have a big mouth."
"Don't call me a failed product."
"You are a failed product. You are not recorded as a result of my experiment."
"Says the one who tried to throw me out as trash on the day I was born."
"At that time‚ I thought you were just talking magic trash."
"Harsh. That's not something a top-of-the-class elite should say."
Ignoring Toto‚ who flailed his short forelimbs in protest‚ I flung open the closet by the wall.
Lined up there were not magic tools or staves‚ but commercially available clothing hung casually.
Tags with neat writing were attached to each fabric.
Cheap socks [Sparks]‚ cotton blouse [Small Explosion]‚ and the pure gold thread embroidered mantle I impulse-bought after seeing it in a showcase [Will get scolded if the professor finds it].
Looking closely‚ there was a black box deeper inside with a tag too. [Strictly prohibited from use]
"What's this?"
"Under research."
"I don't wanna hear…"
"Today's goal is to use only this single sock as a catalyst to completely annihilate the target into the far side of the dimension."
Three pairs for one thousand krone. I picked up the mass-produced cheap item and held it high.
"With this‚ even if it vanishes‚ there will be zero damage to the household budget. And the social damage is extremely minor‚ just one foot getting cold."
"…That's the one that only made crackling sparks in the last experiment."
"I fundamentally revised the magic circuit construction. With my current perfect formula‚ this should create a small-scale dimensional rift."
"Really now. Well‚ whatever. So‚ where are we testing it?"
I slammed the closet shut and turned around.
"Only practice makes perfect. We'll head to the first layer of the dungeon spreading beneath the university."
"First dungeon‚ huh. Can't be helped‚ I'll at least carry the luggage."
Toto jumped down from the grimoire and landed skillfully on the floor with his short legs.
"Not luggage carrier‚ but observer. Record my great first step firmly with those red eyes."
"Yeah yeah. Well‚ let's go."
I raised my voice and opened the laboratory door again.
The cold underground wind leading to the dungeon stroked my bare thighs in an unsettlingly smooth manner.
"The glorious first step to open the door to true magic. There is no way my perfect formula has any flaws."
"I've heard that line seven times this month."
Toto muttered flatly.
"…Should we bring spare panties just in case?"
"Unnecessary."
"Then it's full nude."
"That possibility does not exist even in ten thousand."
"Seven times."
Deep underground at the Royal Academy of Magic. The first layer of the endlessly continuing stone dungeon was filled with the smell of sour moss and dense magic essence.
Footsteps were swallowed into the darkness with cold echoes. Every time the lantern light swayed‚ the wet rock surfaces dully reflected an eerie glow.
"…It's chilly and creepy down here."
Toto‚ walking at my feet‚ twitched his short ears.
"Underground dungeons are supposed to be like this. Be quiet――the first observation target has appeared."
From the darkness ahead‚ an unpleasant sticky sound like something crawling‚ *zuzuzu… zuzuzu…*‚ approached.
What appeared was a huge translucent green viscous body――a so-called slime. But it was not just mud. Inside its body‚ countless scraps of cloth and leather remnants floated undigested.
"Whoa‚ there it is. A 'Dress Eater.' The worst shitty monster that dissolves beginner equipment and leaves you stark naked. Louise‚ that's bad. Let's run quick."
"Wait. It's an extremely interesting ecology. This is the first time I've observed a real one."
"If it's your first time seeing it‚ run even more!"
"According to literature‚ the average equipment loss rate upon encounter is 32.4%. That digestive fluid that selectively decomposes only organic fibers… its magical academic application value is extremely high."
"Do we need to take that statistic now!?"
The slime's red core stared fixedly this way. No‚ more precisely――at the clothes I was wearing.
"It's not me‚ but this silk it's looking at. For a viscous body to understand this high magic conductivity‚ it might be surprisingly intelligent."
It was exactly the moment I ran my quill across the notebook.
Green mucus shot out like pebbles from the slime's surface‚ which had trembled with a *blur*.
"Danger――!"
I twisted my body reflexively. However‚ one unavoidable drop stuck stickily to the hem of my magic robe.
With a *shuuuuuuu* despairing sound‚ the high-density magic fabric worth 150‚000 krone bubbled and melted away like a sugar confection.
Along with the fabric's defensive power‚ my asset value was being shaved away in real time.
The cold‚ damp underground air directly caressed the soft skin of my thighs through the gaping hole in the hem.
"Ah… aah…! My 150‚000 krone…!"
"See‚ I told you! The hem is gone! Either run or cast magic‚ pick one!"
"W-Wait! This robe is a custom order! If it just loses its function as armor‚ that's one thing‚ but this is the same as my precious 'highest-grade ammunition' decreasing!"
"No‚ before the ammunition‚ the maiden's dignity is decreasing. Next‚ it's coming for the skirt!"
At the same time as Toto's merciless warning‚ the slime leaped greatly. Its overwhelming mass filled my field of vision.
If things continued like this‚ my entire clothing would be dissolved‚ and I would be thrown out stark naked into this dark‚ cold underground dungeon. It was clear that far from bringing back valuable research data‚ I would face social death.
(Right foot sock‚ 166.7 krone per piece. Expected output: small explosion. Theoretical success probability for repelling: 62.5%――!)
"Kuh…! I won't let you!"
"Oh‚ you're finally doing it? It's the turn for the sock (one piece) you boasted about earlier!"
"Yes! Watch‚ Dress Eater! I'll make you taste the flavor of cheap three-pairs-for-one-thousand-krone goods!"
With painful resolve‚ I kicked off the loafer on my right foot――and with the desperate determination of opening a scholarship repayment notice‚ I reached for my own sock.
On the wet stone pavement‚ I kicked off the right loafer and pulled off the sock.
Three pairs for one thousand krone. The mass-produced cotton material‚ the moment it left my ankle‚ transformed into a 'catalyst' for rewriting phenomena.
"Dimensional principle‚ place the scales of equivalence upon me."
Along with the words spun in a clear voice‚ the sock floating in the air glowed faintly.
I thrust my right hand toward the approaching green viscous body. A purely literary beautiful formula assembled in my brain‚ and overwhelming energy should have been released――or so it was supposed to.
*Crackle crackle crackle.*
What echoed in the darkness was the sound of very modest static electricity‚ like dry twigs bursting.
The sock thrown into the air scattered futile sparks and vanished into nothingness without even scorching the slime's surface.
"…Sparks‚ huh. Lamer than taking off a sweater in winter."
"That's strange."
I seriously tilted my head in front of the approaching slime.
"No‚ it's not strange. It's just sparks."
"It's wrong. According to my calculations‚ it absolutely succeeds."
"You're having a huge failure right in front of you."
"…Maybe the number of washes. Is there a problem with the fabric softener ratio?"
"You're reaching that conclusion now!? Hey‚ the enemy isn't stopping at all!"
Just as Toto said‚ the slime showed no sign of damage whatsoever. On the contrary‚ while chewing the melted hem of my robe‚ it crept closer seeking even higher-quality fabric.
"…Kuh‚ verification is needed. Next‚ the left!"
I ripped off the remaining left sock and released it with magic power again.
This time there was a muffled *poof* small explosion. But the result was the same. The slime's giant body just wobbled eerily like jelly and did not stop advancing.
"Okay‚ socks finished. What now?"
"What now or whatever‚ this affects my social dignity!"
"That's not the time for that. Look‚ it's right in front of you."
The intensely strong smell of digestive fluid that paralyzed the sense of smell was closing in.
The green wave slowly rose‚ trying to swallow me‚ a mass of supreme silk.
"Louise‚ strip quick."
"No! Who would become completely naked in such a dimly lit‚ damp underground dungeon!"
"Then you'll die? 3."
"Wait! The jacket (four thousand krone) doesn't have enough firepower! But this custom skirt (twenty thousand krone) is too expensive!"
"2."
"At least give me time to think which of the silk underwear (twelve thousand krone) top or bottom to consume first――!"
"1."
The merciless countdown. The overwhelming mass closing in before my eyes.
In the extreme state‚ my genius brain derived one cruel conclusion.
The 'supreme ammunition' with far higher magic output coefficient than its function as armor‚ and the potential to surely annihilate the enemy.
That was only the highest-grade silk underwear (top and bottom set) that directly wrapped my soft skin.
"I don't want this anymore! Underwear please! My food expenses for this month are disappearingggg!"
With a blood-curdling scream‚ I purged my pride and twelve thousand krone onto the battlefield.
In that instant‚ the world inverted.
A polychromatic flash arrogantly dyed the darkness of the underground dungeon as bright as midday. The space itself shattered like thin ice‚ and absolute dimensional repulsive force was unleashed. In the midst of a pale light resembling the wrath of god‚ what was once the slime was banished to the far side of nothingness without even time to scream‚ not a single cell remaining.
An overwhelming victory. Complete proof of the unprecedented sorcery theory.
However‚ what remained after the light converged was――nothing but a tragic reality.
"…Aah‚ what have I done."
Desperately covering my chest and lower abdomen with both arms‚ I collapsed onto the cold stone pavement.
The underground's merciless cold air licked all over my now defenseless white porcelain skin. There was nothing left covering my body.
It was none other than my own will that consumed the overly high magic conductivity silk underwear. But the jacket and skirt I wore over it had completely turned to dust due to the aftermath of the overly powerful dimensional magic.
Utterly unreasonable.
"Congratulations‚ Louise. First full nude. I'm a little moved."
"…I want to go home. I want to quit the university and return to my parents' house."
"Impossible."
"Why?"
"That light and explosion sound earlier was probably heard all the way to the upper layers."
"…Eh?"
"You need to escape quick before the spectators arrive."
Toto showed no sign of sympathy and patted my defenseless bare thighs with his short forelimbs‚ *pechi pechi*.
Why must I‚ who was supposed to have pursued ultimate intellect‚ suffer such humiliation?
It seems my maiden's dignity was equivalently exchanged to the far side of the dimension along with the slime.
And――from the distant passage‚ multiple heavy footsteps accompanied by clanking metallic sounds were steadily approaching this way.
While sitting on the cold stone pavement‚ crushed by the astronomical loss of a total of thirty-six thousand krone (underwear‚ jacket‚ skirt) and my maiden's dignity that had collapsed in an instant――a red torch flame swayed eerily as it approached from the depths of the passage.
The heavy clanking metallic sounds echoed in the underground silence.
Professional explorers challenging the depths of the dungeon――no‚ the abnormally heavy equipment they wore and their tense killing intent set them apart from ordinary exploration.
"Hey‚ look at the magic detector! The insane magic reaction of the 'Ancient Species' we were tracking… has completely disappeared from this sector!?"
"Impossible! And look at that dungeon wall…! A ten-meter radius has been completely blown away as if the causality itself was gouged out!"
The man at the front carrying a large sword――a giant knight who seemed to be the leader――noticed the abnormal spatial dissolution marks‚ then spotted me sitting with knees drawn up and trembling in the center‚ and gasped.
"You did this alone…? That 'Ancient Species' that could shake the nation…!"
"U-Um‚ that's not it. What I fought was just a Dress Eater‚ and this is‚ well‚ a slight miscalculation in output…"
I shrank my body and desperately hid my chest and groin with my hands. The flames of their torches mercilessly cast sensual shadows on my white porcelain skin.
However‚ the leader man knelt on the spot with a *clash*‚ cutting off my desperate excuse. Looking up‚ there were――for some reason‚ large hot tears floating in the eyes behind the iron mask.
"You don't need to say anything. Facing that vicious calamity that escaped from the lower layers‚ you converted everything of yourself――yes‚ even a maiden's shame into pure magic power and scattered it for the sake of this world…!"
"That's wrong! It's the result of being stingy with clothing costs and stubbornly sticking to one sock until the end! I don't know any Ancient Species!"
"Aah‚ how noble and modest… To not boast of your own myth-level achievement and instead deliberately demean yourself with a vulgar lie like 'Dress Eater.'"
"It's not a lie! This talking daifuku forced a merciless countdown on me‚ so I had no choice but to use the silk underwear――"
"Louise‚ I think explaining is pointless. These old men have already started a religion worshiping you in their heads."
"Toto! You stay quiet!"
While I shouted‚ Toto rolled over an old wooden walking barrel he had picked up from somewhere with a *gorogoro*.
Here‚ new equipment. Prompted as such‚ I tearfully slipped my fully nude self and pride into the dirty barrel.
The leader man quietly gazed even at that extremely surreal barrel appearance as if it were part of some profound sacred ritual‚ and deeply‚ deeply bowed his head to the floor.
"We will never forget this noble sacrifice. Thank you‚ noble and pure sorceress who bought back peace for humanity…!"
"Therefore‚ please listen to what I'm saying‚ even one word!"
My anguished cry was completely blocked by the knights' stubborn wall of faith and was futilely sucked into the depths of the partially destroyed dungeon.
＊
――The next morning. Royal Academy of Magic‚ girls' dormitory.
A bundle of paper with the fresh smell of ink was slapped onto my face as I curled up like a potato bug on the bed in my room.
"Hey Louise‚ morning newspaper. You're spectacularly on the front page top story."
"…I don't want to read a single character."
"[Breaking News] *Holy Nude Witch* seals the dungeon calamity at the cost of all her clothing (and dignity)! 'The flash released from the one-piece white porcelain limbs was the manifestation of noble self-sacrifice that even sacrificed honor (eyewitness account)'… it says. Nice‚ you're a big star."
"Who is the reporter who wrote this shameless and excessively emotional article‚ putting subjugation aside…!"
I jumped up and tightly gripped the blanket I had been using in place of the barrel.
Holy Nude Witch.
It sounds sacred when heard‚ but the text gives off nothing but malice. Isn't this just a somewhat overly elegant alias for a public indecent exposer?
"It's the truth‚ right? Congratulations‚ living goddess."
"It's not the truth! I'm just crying over this month's clothing expenses and the pressure of the scholarship!"
Ignoring my scream‚ small birds were beautifully chirping outside the window today as well.
It seems the world has decided to pass down my extremely petty and economic struggles as a grand heroic tale.
The university life of a genius sorceress who was supposed to have pursued ultimate intellect thus began in an extremely unwilling and shameless form.
＊
【Louise's Research Notes: Fragment 1】
・Cotton socks (166.7 krone): Sparks. Equivalent to winter static electricity.
・Silk underwear (top and bottom set‚ 12‚000 krone): God's thunder that sends everything including the dungeon wall into nothingness.
Observations:
Even though I used underwear as the catalyst‚ for some reason the custom magic robe etc. worn over it (total 24‚000 krone) were also caught up and vanished. Is it due to the aftermath of the dimensional magic‚ or is this world forcing "bankruptcy" and "full nudity" upon me? Urgent verification (and output adjustment) is needed as soon as possible.
…For now‚ I don't even have money to buy tomorrow's bread crust.
―――(Episode 1 - End)―――
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