Chapter 3 "The Holy Naked Witch the Invisible Scholar and the Iron Wall Parasite"
The autumn chill‚ pregnant with morning dew‚ completely penetrates my clothes and blows directly onto my bare skin.
A physical barrier certainly exists there. If I timidly run my fingertips over it‚ the smooth texture of the highest-grade silk transmits to my fingers. However‚ what my merciless retinas capture is only the exposed white porcelain skin and a cheap cotton sock that barely covers my ankles.
A devil's dress that precisely strips away only a woman's visual dignity while maintaining its physical defensive mass. This was the product of mad research into which my mentor‚ hailed as a genius‚ had poured his heart and soul.
However‚ even such an unreasonable reality retreats into a trivial issue when faced with the dazzling golden glow piled up on the desk.
"...Ten thousand‚ twenty thousand‚ thirty thousand krone. Hehe‚ just as calculated. With this much abundant budget‚ the next magical verification will progress dramatically."
On the cheap wooden table in the student dormitory. I lovingly trace the mountain of krone gold coins spilling from the mouth of the leather pouch with my fingertips.
It was an exceptional official reward for (incidentally) defeating the boss of the first layer of the labyrinth‚ commonly known as the 'Cloth Eater'—in reality‚ an ancient species that was a calamity threatening the nation's survival.
"Hey‚ Louise."
From the pillow on the bed‚ a white mochi-like familiar crawled out sluggishly. It turned its red eyes toward my hands and rubbed its short forelimbs together in a servile gesture as if wiping drool.
"Counting gold coins and grinning is fine and all‚ but that outfit of yours is still completely see-through‚ so at least put on a men's T-shirt over it. I'm scared you'll forget you're basically naked and walk outside like that!"
"Is it really that bad? ...Well‚ I don't want to increase the professor's stomach medicine consumption any further‚ so I guess I'll wear it."
I pull the oversized T-shirt I had taken off upon returning home over my head once again.
"But layering clothes makes the fabric rub and feels strangely hot."
"Then just take off that see-through professor's curse dress from the start!"
"Fufufu‚ haaa-hahaha! Toto‚ you really are a hopeless idiot! This dress has the texture of the highest-grade silk!? The sensual feel that clings to the skin is as different as heaven and earth from some cheap‚ stiff cotton T-shirt!"
"...In a sense‚ you're a genuine genius. Your brain's brakes are completely broken."
"Right?"
I proudly puffed out the chest of my invisible dress.
"By the way‚ Louise."
Toto rubbed his short forelimbs together‚ his round red eyes sparkling brightly.
"These are all real gold coins‚ right? Our blood-spitting extreme poverty life is finally over! Today's lunch is gonna be the most expensive luxury steakhouse in the royal capital‚ a carpet of meat! And for dessert‚ I'll add the finest extra-large bucket pudding!"
"What are you saying‚ Toto? That's extremely irrational."
I quickly pull the mountain of gold coins toward myself and coldly return them one after another into the darkness of the leather pouch.
Toto stared at my hand movements with an expression as if he had been dropped from heaven to hell.
"This temporary income is purely 'equipment investment funds' for the next equivalent exchange magic verification experiment. Why must we invest such valuable core assets into organic matter (meat) with an extremely short consumption period?"
"...I have a bad feeling. You‚ don't tell me..."
Several hours later.
What was mercilessly lined up on the cheap table were hard black bread and salt bean soup so thin that the wood grain at the bottom was visible. And carelessly placed on the floor were obviously bargain-bin replacement clothes along with slightly more expensive silk-blend underwear (three sets‚ totaling thirty thousand krone).
"Why do we have a mountain of gold coins but the meal is this (dried-out bread with crust attached)!? And the clothes you bought in bulk are the cheapest wagon sale items!"
Toto flails his short legs and violently bangs the soup plate.
"It's the natural conclusion. For a researcher‚ the fabric covering one's body is merely disposable consumables (ammunition). However‚ silk underwear serves as emergency ammunition. The cheaper we can procure it‚ the better. I allocated the remaining tens of thousands of krone entirely to purchasing new magic catalysts and the latest computational devices."
"You're the epitome of a money-grubbing otaku... Wait‚ so in the end you're keeping that transparent dress as your everyday wear?"
Toto's gaze turns to my neckline—physically‚ a beautiful silk collar exists‚ but visually it is completely see-through‚ with only the white porcelain collarbones floating there.
"Yes. While the refractive index for visible light is indeed distorted to the negative‚ its physical performance as armor is at an extremely high level thanks to the protective spells covering the entire dress. If I always wear it‚ the shockwaves from the backlash of dimensional magic's equivalent exchange should be minimized."
"So as long as you don't pay the dress itself as the cost of equivalent exchange‚ the clothes won't disappear. Meaning—"
"Yes. The program for the next dimensional magic equivalent exchange is designed to beautifully consume the underwear worn under this transparent dress first."
"Don't call it a 'program'! Why are you building a confirmed panty-purge route yourself!?"
Toto snorts in exasperation. While looking at his insolent expression‚ I elegantly set down my spoon and raise my index finger.
"This is where a new mathematical hypothesis will be verified. When activating dimensional magic‚ instead of the clothes (underwear) worn on the body‚ if I temporarily offer an 'externally held possession' as the equivalent exchange catalyst‚ wouldn't that completely avoid the disappearance of my clothes?"
"...Hmm. Using handheld items instead of worn armor as a substitute‚ huh."
"Yes. When I used the professor's holey old gloves as a catalyst in the lab‚ the one-piece dress remained undamaged‚ so theoretically there should be no problem."
"For example‚ a very common 'mage's staff' used to stabilize mana conduction. I pour my high-density mana into it‚ temporarily bypassing the transparent dress's calculation formula and causal line. By offering the staff itself as a sacrifice to the other side of the dimension‚ I should be able to cast dimensional magic without removing my clothes."
"I see. A system hack for equivalent exchange where the staff is purged as a substitute... This might be a proper‚ smart way to save yourself from eternal nakedness."
"The experiment has sufficient value. I can't afford the expensive top-grade staffs‚ but I can buy multiple mid-range ones and cheap disposable ones at the same time for this verification."
I solemnly stand up from the chair and adjust the position of my bargain-bin cotton skirt.
In my objective retinal calculation‚ my body appears to be wearing only pure cotton undergarments and socks. However‚ in terms of physical mass‚ a high-grade silk dress certainly covers my bare skin‚ with a cheap stiff T-shirt and cotton skirt layered on top.
With this mad dual structure that miraculously fuses intellect and shamelessness‚ I solemnly declare today's research policy.
"Come on‚ Toto. Today we're going to buy 'ammunition (staffs)' to protect my dignity."
"Oh‚ the start of our full-nudity prevention campaign. I'll tag along so you don't slack off."
To wash away the dishonor of this extremely unwilling exhibitionism‚ and above all‚ to completely defend my modest social dignity.
I‚ who was supposed to have mastered intellect‚ stepped forward with a new hypothetical formula toward the royal capital's magic tool district.
An old‚ quiet magic tool shop tucked away in a corner of the royal capital.
Slanting light coming through the frosted glass windows quietly makes the dancing dust particles sparkle like golden stardust. The interior was thick with the matured scent of dried herbs and the sharp metallic smell of mysterious magic metals.
On the ebony display shelves covering the walls‚ magic staves of various mystical designs are neatly lined up.
"...As expected‚ specialized magic catalysts come with quite aggressive pricing."
I sighed softly while looking at a staff with a merciless price tag placed in front of the shelf.
If I emptied all the krone gold coins I had‚ I could just barely afford the ten-thousand-krone top-grade staff on the highest shelf adorned with 'dragon whiskers.' But doing so would clearly cause tomorrow's breakfast to devolve from dried black bread to some roadside weeds. Above all‚ the purpose this time is "verification of a substitute catalyst to protect underwear from the shockwaves of equivalent exchange."
In other words‚ the luxury of purging an expensive multi-thousand-krone staff with a single spell was probabilistically out of the question from the start.
"Welcome! Today we have many recommended products that our store is proud of!"
Unfazed by our suspicious layered outfit (visually‚ completely naked under the T-shirt)‚ the business-minded clerk rubbed his hands and approached.
"First‚ this 'Dragon Bone Staff'! It's on sale today only with a thirty percent discount off the regular price!"
"Thirty percent off sounds cheap. But the original price is way too high‚ so it doesn't reach our wallet even by a millimeter."
Toto glares at the clerk with half-lidded eyes. Then‚ I ask extremely calmly.
"Does this disappear?"
"...Huh?"
"It means that if it completely vanishes without a trace at the cellular level in the multidimensional equivalent exchange process‚ then durability as armor is completely unnecessary."
"Yeah‚ that's right. If it disappears‚ durability is worthless. A very reasonable opinion‚ clerk."
Toto folds his arms arrogantly beside me and nods deeply.
"...I'm sorry for my ignorance‚ but what exactly do you mean by 'disappearing through equivalent exchange'...?"
While the clerk breaks into a cold sweat‚ he points to another shelf without giving up.
"Then how about this one! It comes with the manufacturer's lifetime warranty—praised as a masterpiece that 'won't break' under any physical attack in this world!"
"As expected of a pro merchant! I gained a bit of respect. Your mentality is too ironclad; not a single millimeter of your heart breaks."
"Ah... but looking at the crystal structure of this material‚ it's pure mithril‚ right? Physically calculated‚ its limit is eighty years due to aging. There is no unscientific concept like 'permanent.'"
"Eh...?"
"Moreover... in my spacetime coordinate modification verification experiments‚ even pure mithril vanished in 0.01 seconds with sparks flying."
"Oh no... The clerk's pride is being utterly destroyed."
Toto gives the clerk a pitying look.
Leaving the completely frozen clerk aside‚ I point to a corner of the shelf.
"For verification purposes‚ this one and this one. Also‚ give me three of the cheapest wooden stick staves being sold cheaply in that barrel over there."
What I chose were a mid-class oak staff (five thousand krone) that ordinary mages carry for minimal self-defense and three disposable practice white birch rods (three hundred krone each).
At the back of the counter‚ the shop owner frowned at the extremely extreme combination but quickly tied them up with leather cords using practiced hands.
"Buying cheap staves in bulk. Louise-san‚ you're still making tear-jerking efforts as always."
From behind‚ a haughty voice like ringing bells yet carrying thin thorns echoed.
When I turned around‚ standing there dignified was Charlotte‚ the red-haired young lady hailed as a 'prodigy' among our classmates at the magic university. She wore a perfectly tailored‚ glossy deep crimson mage robe‚ and several expensive magic gem rings were already on her white‚ slender fingers.
Behind her‚ two hanger-on female students wearing similarly expensive embroidered robes stood with triumphant‚ malicious smiles.
"Oh‚ Charlotte-san. What a coincidence."
I return a deliberately cold‚ formal bow.
"Don't brush it off with a word like 'coincidence.' I wondered what kind of staff the pitiful top student Louise‚ who isn't favored by any spirits‚ was looking for... Fufu‚ they're just kindling."
Charlotte gracefully raises her right hand‚ and around her slender wrist‚ a small lizard-shaped 'fire spirit (salamander)' begins flying around happily scattering sparks of flame.
"Look at this beautiful flickering of my salamander. Even if you can only study‚ a mage not loved by spirits is just a walking library."
"Truly. The purity of Charlotte-sama's salamander is on a completely different level from heaven and earth."
The hanger-on students hide their mouths with silk sleeves and giggle in agreement.
While looking at their rude gazes and the sparks popping in the air‚ I calmly readjusted the white birch rod I was holding under my arm.
"It has not even one millimeter of value."
"Wha...!?"
At my short glance and merciless words‚ Charlotte's beautiful eyebrows shot up in displeasure.
"What practical use is there in that fire lizard that gets excited or depressed by other people's moods and slight differences in magic efficiency? The heat loss is too great and it's extremely irrational. If you have time to adore such uncertain elements‚ copying the second law of thermodynamics a hundred times would be ten thousand times more meaningful for humanity's progress."
"Yeah yeah! That cheap matchstick-like lizard is nothing but dust compared to my supreme fluffiness!"
From my feet‚ Toto jumps onto the counter with a leap and arrogantly places his short forelimbs on his hips‚ boldly glaring at Charlotte.
"Wh-what is that strangely arrogant white mochi...!? Louise‚ is that distorted creature your contracted beast? What on earth can it do?"
Charlotte points at Toto with a gaze mixed with disgust and bewilderment.
For a moment‚ I sank into deep thought with profound silence.
What Toto can do in practical terms—.
Proposing rational full nudity (purge) in extreme situations.
A merciless countdown that grinds a maiden's dignity to dust.
And extremely absurd post-processing after social death... .
No matter how I incorporate any of them into a formula‚ they are by no means "magical academic achievements" that can be proudly announced in public.
"...What it can do‚ you ask."
When I muddled my words and fell silent‚ Toto immediately puffed out his flat chest and proudly patted it with his short forelimbs.
"Don't think of me as just a squishy mochi! I am Louise's general manager and chief executive officer (CEO)! In other words‚ I'm the super capable brain of our lab that handles quality auditing and management consulting for multidimensional verification experiments single-handedly! Don't get scared and wet yourself!"
"...E-eh...?"
Charlotte and her two followers completely lost the concept of words and took a beautiful step back with twitching cheeks.
"Manager...? Consultant...? I don't really understand‚ but it seems studying too much has made even your familiar's brain screws go crazy."
Charlotte snorted as if regaining her composure and haughtily flipped the hem of her vivid red robe.
"Well‚ whatever. We are heading to the third layer of the underground labyrinth for practical combat training. If that 'CEO' of yours has any real ability‚ show us your vaunted armchair theory magic there!"
"Bring it on! I'll show you Louise's dimensional one-punch from the best front-row seat!"
"Hey‚ Toto! I told you not to do business (answer) without your master's permission!"
At Toto's overly quick reply‚ I reflexively grabbed his soft flank and pulled him off.
"I have precise output calculations and a verification schedule for experiments ahead. I have no resources to waste on pointless factional struggles—"
"What schedule? Going to that weak-stomached professor again? Well‚ I don't dislike that professor."
"Oh? Are you going to run away with your usual theoretical armor?"
Charlotte narrowed her amber eyes coldly in provocation.
"I won't run! I have a little business with the professor‚ so after stopping by there‚ I'll face you in the deepest part of the labyrinth!"
Toto flails uselessly in my arms while shouting.
"Sigh... It can't be helped. This will also be a good practical verification for accurately measuring the 'causal interference rate in mass equivalent exchange' when using cheap white birch staves as catalysts. Feel free to tag along."
"Fine. At least learn the anger of a real spirit before that cheap stick turns to ash."
In the end‚ what remained in my hands were several cheap white birch staves and an extremely unwilling dungeon duel that had been decided.
I tightly grip the white birch rod under my arm and lightly poke Toto's white head.
"Toto‚ I'll reduce your squid snack allowance by thirty percent from my research funds later."
"Why!? I only did frontline sales activities (promotion) as the CEO!"
The grounds of the Royal Magic University proudly display the depth of their history; as one progresses from the outer perimeter to the inner depths‚ the stone architecture becomes more intricate and more imposing.
Passing under the magnificent stained-glass arches overhead‚ I stepped into the polished white marble corridor. Huge columns lined on both sides were carved with reliefs of ancient heroes‚ spreading a cold dignity throughout the space.
This was the deepest part of the magic university—the forbidden "Upper Senate Area" where even a single step was not permitted except for the limited 'special students' and high-ranking mages.
"Hey‚ Louise. Th-this is the special students-only area...! No matter how much of a top student you are on paper‚ if a regular freshman enters‚ you'll be suspended immediately!"
Charlotte‚ having lost all her previous arrogance‚ looked around fearfully and let out a desperate whisper. Behind her‚ the two followers also tremble their knees slightly‚ saying "If we're caught‚ we'll be expelled..." and "Please stop joking around."
"What are you so scared of? I was simply called because my supervising professor has business with me. Probabilistically‚ there is no problem at all."
"There's a huge problem! Who on earth is your supervising professor!? The Evans professor I chose is one of the top three elites in the magic university! The course enrollment ratio is ten times!"
Charlotte puffed out her well-tailored chest‚ covering her trembling voice with bravado.
Toto‚ held under my arm‚ gives her a pitying glance.
"What a worldly girl‚ bragging about secular titles one after another... The world is too small; it's pitiful."
"Wh-what do you mean pitiful!"
"Well‚ Louise has completely lost her social common sense and current affairs parameters. She's not interested in anything except her own research even one millimeter. She doesn't even know what her everyday professor is in the academic world!"
Toto sighs and pats the bundle of white birch staves with his short forelimbs.
"Toto‚ do you know?"
"Of course. I cover everything from economic newspapers to industrial newspapers and magic academic journals every day. The flow of money in the world is completely transparent to me."
"...I've been wondering for a while‚ but where exactly do you get the money for those daily newspaper subscriptions? Don't tell me it's from my research funds‚ the crystallization of blood and tears—"
"Secret!!"
Toto quickly averts his eyes from my questioning and hurriedly waves his short forelimbs‚ pointing to the lawn ahead.
"Look‚ there. That weak-stomached old man leisurely reading a high-class newspaper in the courtyard is your rumored supervising professor‚ right?"
Sure enough‚ on a bench in the lush green courtyard‚ an elderly man wearing his usual crumpled white coat was earnestly spreading out a newspaper.
The moment Charlotte recognized him‚ her amber eyes opened to their limit. A dry scream leaks from the back of her throat.
"E-eeeeeeeeeh...!? Th-th-that person is the one rumored to have been recruited by the current president of the Royal Magic University‚ who bowed his head three times on the marble floor in the three visits of courtesy‚ with a national budget-level reward... The living myth reigning at the pinnacle of modern magic science‚ Professor Elright!?"
"What is that 'living myth'? He's just an excessive stomach medicine consumer."
When I tilt my head seriously‚ Charlotte grabs my shoulders and shakes me back and forth while trembling all over.
"Why doesn't the person in question know even that!? He's a super special-grade authority at the pinnacle of magic science‚ one of the few in the world!? He's not someone ordinary freshmen like us can casually talk to! Before we get erased for disrespect‚ let's crawl away from here right now!"
"Exactly right‚ Charlotte-sama!"
"We don't have enough lives!"
The two followers also frantically pull the sleeves of my cheap T-shirt with teary eyes.
At that moment‚ the professor on the bench‚ still glaring peevishly at the newspaper‚ muttered loudly enough to echo around.
"...Hmm‚ today's society special report features a terrifying new formula for multidimensional magic computation. It can be directly applied to spacetime coordinate efficiency. However‚ this overly beautiful computation theory... upon closer reading‚ it completely bypasses even the ancient unsolved computation domains. Just who is this unfathomable genius scholar named 'To・Two'...?"
The professor scratches his white hair wildly and‚ noticing our unusual presence‚ turns a suspicious face toward us.
"Hey‚ it's Louise! You were late; I've been waiting so long my stomach started hurting again."
—With his usual completely relaxed‚ pathetic expression‚ he waves his large hand affectionately.
"Wha..."
"Uwooo..."
"Hiiii..."
Charlotte and her two followers‚ having received the national supreme authority's "you" address‚ completely froze on the spot like statues hit by Medusa's gaze.
"Professor Elright‚ sorry to keep you waiting. I received a message that you had something to give me."
"Oh‚ Louise-kun‚ I've been waiting! Actually‚ I brought this."
The living myth of modern magic science solemnly pulled out from the breast of his crumpled white coat a single ring emitting a dull silver light‚ intricately engraved with strange polyhedral geometric patterns.
"This is... a ring?"
"If my multidimensional geometric calculations are correct‚ this 'mana catalyst modulator' built into the ring should enable 'selective attribute specification' in your equivalent exchange magic. Until now it was only 'super-dimensional explosion accompanying total material annihilation‚' but with this‚ you can output all attribute phenomena including the five major elements as well as light and darkness at the end of equivalent exchange!"
"Hmm. Then can it do healing-type—wallet-friendly recovery magic or something?"
To Toto's question as he jumped from the professor's shoulder to the bench‚ the living myth proudly puffed out his thin chest.
"It should be possible in an instant with the reverse application of light attribute!"
"It's all-purpose! As expected of the world's Elright‚ great work! I gained some respect."
While Toto praises him‚ I pinch the ring with my slender fingertips and turn extremely cold and skeptical eyes toward my mentor.
"Professor... this hasn't even completed the first stage of 'basic numerical safety verification' in the lab yet‚ has it? You're planning to use my body as an experimental platform again‚ aren't you?"
"Well‚ I thought that if it's you‚ Louise-kun‚ even if a calculation error causes a rampage‚ you could forcibly suppress the multidimensional coordinates in your brain... Besides‚ if you're wearing that 'invisible magic dress‚' the shockwaves from dimensional interference should be considerably suppressed physically."
"Suppressing the shock at the cost of the clothes being see-through from start to finish. It's a full-nudity (with socks) dress that's visible from the beginning even before the equivalent exchange purge."
Toto mercilessly states the bare‚ unvarnished truth.
"...Well‚ there is still plenty of room for verification as practical data regarding the stability parameters of the dress's refractive index."
"You're okay with that!! That's a defense line you must never yield as a maiden even if heaven and earth are turned upside down!"
Completely ignoring Toto's soulful retort‚ I quietly slip the ring onto my middle finger.
Beside me‚ the red-haired rival with rolled-back eyes‚ frozen like a sculpture‚ still hasn't caught up to reality.
"Sorry to keep you waiting‚ Charlotte-san. The experiment preparations are perfectly complete. Shall we head to our great theoretical verification site—the labyrinth (dungeon)?"
The damp‚ musty smell of stagnant moss clings to my skin along with the cold silence of the deep underground.
Labyrinth third layer. Deep in the dense darkness beyond the reach of the university's official bonfires. The orange sparks emitted by Charlotte's fire spirit (salamander) eerily illuminated it.
"Circle around from the right there. Stay alert to your footing."
Flipping her well-tailored deep crimson robe‚ Charlotte gracefully waves her slender fingertips. Following her precise instructions‚ the two followers coordinate perfectly to release small-scale wind magic‚ brilliantly knocking down the blood-sucking giant bats trying to crawl out creepily from the darkness.
"Wonderful technique‚ Charlotte-sama!"
"This completely secures the safety of today's exploration route."
The hanger-ons' cheers echo off the cold stone walls.
Behind those glamorous elites‚ I stood holding a large bundle of cheap wooden sticks—in other words‚ white birch staves for equivalent exchange sacrifices—tightly in both arms like a pitiful poor village girl gathering firewood.
Through the cheap cotton skirt I am wearing layered‚ the white porcelain thighs beneath appear as complete nudity (though wearing socks) due to the optical bug in my retinas‚ floating in the void.
"...It's incredibly heavy. Why must I‚ the top entrant who is supposed to pursue the truth of magic‚ support the labyrinth's logistics system with such primitive physical labor?"
"Can't be helped. This time you're here to verify the equivalent exchange hack that purges those cheap sticks as substitutes so you absolutely don't consume your clothes (underwear). As a catalyst porter‚ you're scoring 100 points."
Toto‚ perched on my shoulder‚ looks down at the heavy bundle of white birch staves and snorts mockingly. He then turns his round red eyes toward the red-haired young lady who gracefully controls magic.
"That young lady has a bad mouth‚ but her basic magic parameters are solid. She's quite promising."
"Of course. The basic waveform of mana conduction is extremely smooth and beautiful... Well‚ the heat efficiency loss is still high‚ but I honestly acknowledge the traces of effort."
Noticing our out-of-place whispering‚ Charlotte turns around with a displeased face.
"Wh-what are you two whispering creepily about back there as baggage carriers? Hurry up and do the safety calculations for the next route!"
"Without being told‚ the multidimensional flow of entropy on this floor is already perfectly gridded in my brain—"
Just as I was about to speak confidently‚ at that very moment.
On my shoulder‚ Toto suddenly raised a shrill voice as if his nonexistent fur was standing on end.
"Hey‚ you hanger-on big sister! Don't step on that reddish-black patterned stone tile at your feet!!"
"Eh...!?"
Startled by the sudden warning‚ the female student hanger-on hurriedly tries to pull her foot back‚ slips on the wet moss‚ and falls spectacularly. Worst of all‚ her slender buttocks crush the geometric pattern of the magic circle engraved on the rock floor head-on.
Kiiiiiiiiiin—!
An ultra-high-frequency driving sound pierces the eardrums‚ violently shaking the air.
"—Spatial transfer trap!? No way‚ such a high-level causal enforcement array shouldn't exist on the third layer—"
Charlotte's scream is mercilessly swallowed by the torrent of light erupting from the floor.
My retinas are dyed in violent pure white radiance.
＊
A nauseating floating sensation that completely releases one from gravity‚ disturbing the semicircular canals.
Immediately after‚ freezing cold air that pierces the lungs and a tremendous stench that stimulates primal biological terror mercilessly assault our five senses.
We are slammed onto the coldly crumbled stone floor in a heap.
"...Ouch. Is everyone free of physical structural damage (injuries)?"
I raise my face while somehow protecting the bundle of three-hundred-krone white birch staves I had clutched to my chest with higher priority than my own life.
The moment I look around‚ all the blood drains from my body.
A vast circular space like an ancient coliseum with eerily standing half-destroyed marble pillars. Countless stalactites hang from the ceiling like fangs‚ and a dense miasma of magic swirls.
This is the abyss of the labyrinth‚ far removed from the usual training routes—.
"This is‚ no way‚ the fifth layer of the labyrinth...!? No way‚ why in an instant to such deep layers...!"
Charlotte stands somehow with only her pride‚ her slender knees rattling.
As if responding to her words of despair‚ the dense darkness at the back of the ancient coliseum twists unnaturally.
—DOOOOOOON...!
Along with an earth-shaking rumble‚ what emerged from the darkness was a multi-armed giant covered in huge rock skin all over its body. It was the absolute ruler of the fifth layer‚ commonly known as the 'Guardian of the Earth.'
The moment its four burning red eyes capture us as prey‚ a great roar that resonates to the marrow of the bones pierces the eardrums‚ shaking the sub-zero air.
"Charlotte-sama...! Th-that is a calamity on a level we regular students can never defeat...!"
The hanger-on female students completely lose strength in their legs and collapse onto the stone floor‚ shedding large tears.
"What are you doing! Stand up quickly!"
"Are you really the children of esteemed mage ladies!?"
Charlotte shouts in reprimand while raising her trembling hand to ready her deep crimson high-grade magic staff in front. The fire spirit (salamander)'s flames flicker violently as if expressing her impatience.
The rock giant raises its countless arms menacingly overhead and begins charging with earth-shaking steps. With each fierce step‚ the stone floor is pulverized‚ and overwhelming destructive mass approaches.
"Louise! The cause of the transfer was our footing; this is my responsibility! You guys get back quickly!"
With desperate fighting spirit in her frightened amber eyes‚ Charlotte strongly pushes back my chest. Her glossy deep crimson robe's back cuts straight across my field of vision.
Insisting it was her responsibility‚ she bravely stepped forward toward the overwhelming threat of death‚ as if to protect the collapsed hanger-ons.
"Salamander‚ theoretical maximum output (Max Pulser)! I won't let it get any closer!"
Charlotte's tragic cry echoes through the cold space of the ancient coliseum.
The massive fireball released from her magic staff mercilessly strikes the rock giant's chest with intense atmospheric distortion. However‚ after the explosive flames vainly dissipate‚ only slightly soot-covered tough rock skin remains. The giant does not slow its steps at all and swings down countless fists toward the red-haired girl who had become its shield.
"Charlotte-sama—!"
"No... The barrier can't maintain its structure and is shattering...!"
The hanger-on female students cover their eyes and scream in despair.
The giant's fist violently cuts through the wind; in a few moments‚ a decisive future image (simulation) of death that would pulverize Charlotte's slender body along with the stone pavement.
(...The cheap white birch staves have too low mana conduction rate! The computation time needed to hastily construct a causal bypass is 2.8 seconds... No good‚ my brain's calculation formulas are mercilessly telling me that Charlotte-san's survival probability is converging to zero right at this moment!)
I throw away without regret the bundle of three-hundred-krone cheap white birch staves I had desperately clutched until a moment ago onto the stone floor.
There is no time left even for a microsecond to test the equivalent exchange catalyst hack or to pour mana into the cheap sticks to build the causal line.
In this worst extreme situation‚ the only optimal solution my brain cells produced was the immediate purge of the 'supreme ultra-high-purity ammunition' with the shortest activation process that could reliably annihilate the threat before my eyes.
"I don't want this anymore...! One thousand two hundred krone‚ please with the panties under the dress—!!"
With a soul cry as if spitting blood‚ I solemnly offered the 'final defense line' under the transparent dress to the battlefield of my own will.
At that moment‚ the silver ring made by Professor Elright on my slender middle finger emits an eerie pale blue glow‚ and an attribute selection hologram (user interface) pops up in front of me‚ filling the space.
The multidimensional magic that should have activated immediately upon purge is flickering ominously (WAITING) on the hologram selection screen.
' STATUS: WAITING FOR INPUT... '
[Fire] Lv10 [Wind] Lv10 [Water] Lv10 [Earth] Lv10 [Void] Lv10 [Light] Lv10 [Dark] Lv10 [Dimensional] ??
' PLEASE SELECT ATTRIBUTE. ARE YOU READY？ '
(Aaaaaah... Professor Elright!! In this dead-or-alive extreme situation where every second counts‚ this kind-looking command selection screen (UI) is the most annoying thing ever!!!)
The approaching giant's massive fist. The hologram text before my eyes.
Fire Wind Water Earth Void Light Dark Dimensional
(Pastel pink panties cost)
(One thousand two hundred krone)
(Current remaining funds)
(Next underwear purchase cost)
(...)
(Social dignity loss cost: Priceless)
(...Calculate in bulk later.)
"—Select 'Wind' attribute!!!!"
I desperately reach out to the hologram screen.
The absolute formula of the "Wind" attribute‚ the clear natural enemy of the rock (earth) attribute. The ring completes the catalyst modulation and explodes with radiance‚ releasing a tremendous light wave that rewrites multidimensional causality.
The atmosphere is violently excited‚ and with a reversing sensation as if surging up from the bottom of the abyss‚ a maddening storm blows upward.
—The next moment‚ a gust like a divine scythe rushes down from the heavens toward the earth.
The multicolored flash turned into blades of wind completely dominates the fifth layer abyss with the brightness of broad daylight. The space itself cracks like thin ice‚ and absolute vacuum shockwaves are unleashed in all directions.
The rock giant‚ the Guardian of the Earth‚ is not even given the chance to let out a death scream‚ and is pulverized down to the last cell along with its overwhelming mass‚ banished to the other side of the dimension.
Eventually‚ the torrent of light that shook the world quietly converges‚ and cold silence returns once again to the ancient coliseum.
"...Huh‚ that...?"
Charlotte sits on the soot-covered marble with her slender waist collapsed‚ blankly looking up into the void. The despairing incarnation of death that had existed just a few seconds ago has disappeared from the world without leaving even a speck of dust. Faced with that overwhelming disappearance‚ the two hanger-ons simply open their mouths‚ speechless‚ while embracing each other.
I slowly lower my gaze to my own body and gently stroke my chest in relief.
"...It's still there! What shattered on this causal battlefield was only my panties and that rock giant!!"
The pure white dress remains unstained. The physical defensive mass is certainly still present around my bare skin.
The precise protective spells of Professor Elright's developed 'anti-dimensional magic dress' perfectly canceled out the interference waves of the multidimensional magic across the entire dress‚ completely preventing the disappearance of the main clothing. The cheap cotton T-shirt and cotton skirt layered on top are also undamaged. Naturally‚ the pure cotton socks remain.
This was a historic great victory in my unprecedented magic theory.
"The experiment is a complete great success! Professor Elright! You truly are a living myth of the modern era!!"
As I tearfully raise a triumphant cheer‚ Toto on my shoulder mutters while munching on squid snacks he had taken out from somewhere.
"Yeah. The clothes are only transmitting visible light; physically they remain perfectly intact... However—"
"However... what? Did I miss something in my formula?"
"The cost of the multidimensional equivalent exchange is being deducted properly from the very bottom (panties) as programmed... Above all‚ the airflow around your lower body has become incredibly refreshing."
At Toto's extremely realistic observation‚ I snap back to reality.
Indeed‚ from the deepest layer of the ground beneath the layered skirt—I feel in real time the unprecedentedly refreshing yet fatally precarious cold air of the underground labyrinth blowing directly through.
The dress is undamaged. However‚ what was inside has completely disappeared into nothingness.
"...Ah. Meaning I am physically wearing nothing right now."
"That's right. A complete no-panties great victory in exchange for the victory of science."
"Please stop modifying my great academic achievement with that shameless term!"
As I shout with my face bright red like an apple from shame‚ Charlotte points a trembling fingertip toward me.
"L-Louise...? What on earth did you just do...? And that... wh-what was that‚ an incredible blade of wind blowing from complete empty space...?"
"I didn't do anything! It was just an unavoidable error in a trivial multidimensional magic calculation! More importantly‚ Charlotte-san‚ staying in these deeper layers any longer carries an extremely high risk of catching a cold‚ so let's quickly retreat to the upper layers!"
Unable to endure the unprecedented breezy openness of nature (despair) unique to going commando‚ I desperately hold down my skirt with both hands while maximizing the highest speed of shuffling steps and hurriedly walk toward the direction of the forced transfer array.
"Louise‚ no! Stepping there is physically bad; it's another trap!"
"Eh...!?"
—GOOOOOO!!
This time‚ a merciless gust blows vertically and pinpoint from the ground beneath my feet!
I scream and desperately press down the hem of my skirt with my hands. That was close. The absolute defense line of the invisible dress was about to be completely flipped up by the wind pressure and exposed to the world.
"Why... are there unknown malicious traps set up even in a place like this...!"
"That's the aftereffect of the wind magic you set up earlier in exchange for your panties!"
"Setting up instant-death wind traps all over this abyss coliseum—honestly‚ you're a nuisance exhibitionist to everyone around you!"
"...Toto‚ any specific talk about the cost of the magic I released here today is strictly national secret (prohibited) from now on‚ okay!?"
With teary eyes‚ I drive a strong nail into my familiar's white head.
"Uwa! Using preservation to silence me—you're really the worst and most evil witch wearing the skin of a saint!"
And then—.
From the shadow of the collapsed rocks in the corner of the coliseum‚ something was intently and greedily observing the entire scene.
A single small turtle the size of a palm was eerily stretching its neck long to peek at the situation.
Its true identity was the legendary super-rare magic beast of the deep labyrinth layers‚ boasting iron wall absolute defense—the *Abyssal Shell Emperor Kamejild*. In its small red eyes dwelled unfathomable terror and an even deeper fanatical impression.
(...The terrifyingly dangerous woman who erased that strongest rock giant (Guardian of the Earth)‚ the ruler of the lower layers‚ with the aftershock of a single blink)
(...A vicious pinnacle of humanity that casually releases attribute magic strong enough to split the world's causality with seemingly zero cost‚ while optically appearing to have lost no clothes at all)
(...Yet‚ despite accomplishing such myth-level feats‚ she has somewhat sad‚ moist eyes and shows no sign of attacking a lowly being like myself—an overwhelming depth of mercy)
(...Decided. The next parasitic home (my house) will be the back of that no-panties woman who looks fully naked. Inside that sturdy barrier‚ I can live a safe retirement life without working for the rest of my life and never die)
The legendary turtle‚ capable of freely changing its size up to three stages‚ quietly muttered so in its heart with conviction.
Thus‚ while watching Louise's desperate shuffling footsteps from behind‚ it slowly sways its stardust-like sturdy shell and silently crawls toward her back.
That a myth-class "iron wall freeloader (NEET)" had fixed its hot gaze on her back and set its sights on moving in—
Louise‚ shedding tears only over the precariousness of the cold wind blowing suu suu through her crotch‚ had not the slightest idea even for a microsecond.
———(Chapter 3 End)———
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