Chapter 32: “In the Dream‚ You Were Still Smiling”
The cafeteria‚ still scarred by the tragedy‚ had fallen into a silence as if water had been poured over it.
The floor of hardened chocolate.
The walls that had degenerated into candy craftsmanship.
The lingering death-stench of scorched bitter chocolate that stagnated there.
The travelers and adventurers who had been too slow to flee gazed at that excessively abnormal sight from a distance‚ holding their breath.
While relieved by the miraculous “suppression” performed by the savior‚ not a single one of them dared to approach carelessly.
Ordinary people like them could never understand it.
The true nature of the far too alien and cruel temperature difference radiated by the boy wearing a calm and perfect smile‚ and the girl trembling violently at his feet.
Serina: “Hah…… hyuh…… ah……!”
Serina’s breathing had already grown shallow and rapid to the limit.
No matter how much air she inhaled‚ her lungs refused to accept the oxygen.
Every time she smiled innocently‚ every time she wished to be happy‚ the person she loved most before her eyes had been burning his “life” like firewood to grant it.
That stark fact had become a cold curse called guilt‚ mercilessly constricting her slender throat.
Serina: “……Louis”
In a hoarse voice‚ she called that name like a broken doll.
Serina: “Louis……!”
Louis: “……I’m here.”
Louis answered in a flat voice.
Kneeling right beside Serina‚ he gently wrapped her trembling hands in his own palms.
Serina’s fingertips were gripping Louis’s hand so tightly it hurt.
As if she feared that if she loosened her strength even a little‚ the boy before her eyes would crumble away like a sand sculpture.
Louis: “I’m right here‚ properly.”
Serina: “……Really?”
Louis: “Yeah‚ really.”
Serina: “……You won’t disappear anymore?”
Louis lost his words for just a moment.
Because he himself‚ as a system‚ understood more logically than anyone that his own contents (origin) were steadily being scraped away and diminishing.
Even so—.
Louis: “I won’t.”
He declared it in a perfect voice stripped of all noise‚ without any hesitation.
Louis: “So calm down.”
Serina: “……Okay.”
Yet—Serina’s slender body continued to tremble in small shivers.
She was nodding.
The words were reaching her.
She understood in her head that her beloved Louis was here.
Even so‚ her heart—her human defense mechanism—could not catch up at all to the despairing reality that had been thrust upon her.
Ciel: ‘—I will connect an emergency communication directly into your brain.’
Suddenly.
Into the mind (system) of Nagi‚ who had been standing dumbfounded a short distance away‚ a cold and sweet system voice resounded with merciless clarity.
Ciel: ‘Recorder Nagi.
Can you hear me?’
Nagi: “……Eh?”
Nagi’s slender shoulders jerked‚ and she lifted her face as if struck.
Nagi: “Just now‚ a voice came directly from inside my head……”
Ciel: ‘Explanations can all wait until later.’
Ciel’s voice carried the absolute pressure of a higher administrator that brooked no argument.
Ciel: ‘From now on‚ please objectively evaluate Serina’s mental state using the skill you possess.’
Nagi showed intense confusion for only a moment‚ then immediately turned a sharp gaze toward Serina kneeling on the ground.
And—her cold observational eyes as the kingdom’s highest recorder accurately captured that extremely serious condition‚ further tensing her expression.
Nagi: “……This is……”
Ciel: ‘A swift judgment.’
Nagi: “…………!”
Nagi bit her lip hard enough to draw blood.
A face completely drained of blood‚ pure white.
Unfocused blue eyes wandering through empty space.
Louis’s right hand gripped so tightly it hurt.
And a trembling voice checking Louis’s name over and over‚ as if broken‚ with hyperventilation-like frequency.
Nagi: “……An extreme‚ severe state of mental confusion (panic).”
Ciel: ‘The danger if the awakened state continues as is is’
Nagi: “If we force her to maintain consciousness like this……”
Nagi squeezed out the painful words as if pronouncing the worst verdict.
Nagi: “Her soul will be unable to endure the weight of the truth thrust upon her‚ and she will continue to corner herself permanently.
In the worst case‚ her very spirit will completely collapse from the inside……!”
At that despairing declaration‚ the perfect smile Louis had been wearing warped slightly‚ and his frozen expression twitched.
Louis: “……What does that mean?”
Ciel: ‘Louis-sama!’
Louis: “Ciel‚ right now Serina—”
Ciel: ‘Please listen to my announcement.’
It was a rare occurrence.
The voice of Ciel resounding in his brain carried a raw‚ intense urgency that completely stepped beyond the framework of a system.
Ciel: ‘Currently‚ Serina is completely unable to process the large-scale error she herself caused and the sudden sense of guilt.
If she continues to receive stimuli from the outside world in this unstable awakened state‚ the mental load will once again exceed the safety threshold‚ and the possibility of self-collapse (lost) of her very existence is judged to be extremely high.’
Louis fell silent‚ coldly.
Ciel: ‘A temporary forced shutdown (evacuation) of consciousness through sleep is necessary.’
Almost simultaneously with Ciel’s cold declaration‚ Nagi slowly stood up as if shaking off the trembling that inhabited her body.
Nagi: “……I can……”
Nagi gazed at Louis with pleading‚ sorrowful eyes.
Nagi: “With the exercise of magic‚ I can safely put Serina-san to sleep……!”
The air completely froze.
Nagi quietly raised her right hand.
Pale emerald-green magical particles for calming the spirit began gathering at her fingertips like the light of fireflies.
Louis: “Wait.”
Louis’s quiet yet unyielding sharp voice cruelly sliced through the heavy air of the cafeteria.
Nagi’s raised right hand stopped with a jerk of fear.
Nagi: “……Louis-sama?”
Louis: “What do you intend to do?”
Nagi: “So…… just to prevent the collapse of her spirit‚ to have her sleep a little deeply……!”
Louis: “You’re going to use magic‚ aren’t you?”
Nagi: “Yes……!”
Louis: “On Serina?”
Nagi: “……Yes.”
Louis slid his body just a few centimeters forward in front of Serina at his knees.
—It was a clear motion of “protecting.”
Nagi witnessed that unconscious physical reaction of his and gasped in astonishment.
Nagi: “I-It’s not an attack formula‚ you know……!?”
Louis: “I know.”
Nagi: “If you know……!”
Louis: “……Yeah‚ I know.”
Yet—Louis’s calm voice was thickly tinged with a muddy instinctive rejection that was the complete opposite of logical understanding in his head.
Magic.
On Serina.
Forcibly putting her to sleep.
In theory‚ he understood it completely.
That it was the most rational and indispensable emergency measure in this current situation.
That Nagi held not even a fragment of intention to harm Serina—his cold logical calculations in his head scored all of that as full marks (correct).
Even so.
The sight of an unknown magical light being directed toward his beloved Serina—.
Against that alone‚ the “human instinct (original)” that had barely been scraped remaining at Louis’s depths forcibly leaped over the cold system resources and harbored intense fear and insane levels of vigilance.
Ciel: ‘—Louis-sama!’
Louis: “……”
Ciel: ‘Rejecting Nagi is not synonymous with protecting Serina.’
Louis: “……I know.”
Ciel: ‘What Serina needs most right now is not the maintenance of awakening‚ but rest for her deep consciousness.’
At Ciel’s orderly persuasion‚ Louis closed his eyes deeply just once‚ then looked down at Serina held in his arms.
Serina: “……Louis”
Again‚ she was called by name in a thin voice that seemed about to vanish.
Louis: “I’m here.”
Serina: “……Really?”
Louis: “I am.”
Serina’s slender fingers put a little more painful strength into their grip again.
Serina: “……You won’t go anywhere?”
Louis—this time showed not even a moment of hesitation.
Louis: “I won’t go anywhere.”
At that voice containing certain body heat‚ Serina slowly closed her eyelids.
However‚ it was not that she had fallen asleep.
Already‚ the very act of opening her eyes and gazing at the miserable reality before her was painful and far too agonizing for her soul.
Louis: “……Nagi-san”
Louis quietly called that name.
Nagi: “Yes……!”
Louis: “……Please.”
Nagi nodded small but firmly with resolute determination.
Nagi: “Understood……!”
And—slowly‚ she gently extended her fingertips toward Serina’s white forehead.
The pale emerald-green magical light concentrated at her fingertips gradually‚ gently spread like fireflies of the night.
Not strong.
Not dazzling.
Just a terribly calm and warm light‚ like moonlight filtering into the stillness of night.
Nagi: “It’s all right……”
Nagi whispered gently‚ lovingly‚ like a mother soothing a young child.
Nagi: “Just a little…… without thinking about anything‚ please sleep.”
Serina did not react to Nagi’s voice.
Even so‚ only that small hand gripping the sleeve of Louis’s clothes refused to let go.
Serina: “……Louis”
Louis: “I’m here.”
Serina: “……Here?”
Louis: “Here.”
Serina: “……Really?”
Louis: “Really.”
Hearing that quiet and somewhat unreliable repetition.
The expression that should have been tense on Serina’s face softened just a little‚ as if stubborn ice were melting.
At the same time‚ the emerald magic Nagi spun slowly poured into her turbid consciousness.
Serina: “…………”
Serina’s breathing was performed deeply and slowly just once.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Again—inhale.
Exhale.
Little by little‚ the distorted breathing that had been as rapid as a scream until moments ago changed into calm sleeping breaths.
The slender shoulders that had been trembling in small shivers also eventually calmed completely.
Nagi: “……She’s asleep.”
Nagi announced in a small voice mixed with relief.
Louis did not give a proper reply.
He just kept gripping Serina’s small hand as if to warm it‚ staring fixedly at her peaceful sleeping face.
She was sleeping.
Even though until moments ago she had been so violently distraught that one might think the world itself would break‚ now she was simply within calm stillness.
Ciel: ‘Transition to the sleeping state has been confirmed.’
Ciel’s voice announced flatly and extremely businesslike within his brain.
Ciel: ‘Both the target’s life activities and mental waveforms have returned completely to the stable domain.’
Louis: “……I see.”
Louis murmured small within his brain‚ and finally slowly exhaled the heavy breath that had accumulated at the bottom of his lungs.
Louis: “……I’m truly glad.”
—It was at that moment.
Serina’s sakura-colored lips‚ which should have been completely in deep sleep‚ showed a faint movement.
Serina: “……Nn……”
Louis lifted his face as if struck.
Louis: “Serina?”
There was no reply.
Yet Serina’s slender eyebrows twitched just a little sorrowfully.
She was seeing something.
In the depths of a deep dream that no one could touch‚ she was desperately recalling something‚ someone.
And—.
Within the veil of drowsiness‚ Serina’s consciousness slowly rose from the bottom of darkness and opened her eyes.
—What was there was.
Not the ceiling of an otherworldly inn invaded by those sweets.
A large blackboard dyed in the vivid orange of the setting sun.
Old wooden desks and chairs neatly lined up‚ having lost their masters.
From beyond the distant window‚ the faint residual echoes of a brass band’s clumsy trumpet could be heard.
It was—the scenery of a Japanese “classroom” that she had longed for all along and should never have forgotten.
Slowly waking‚ there was the familiar‚ slightly yellowed white ceiling.
What shook her eardrums were the somehow nostalgic voices of peers of the same age.
The dry sound of pipe chairs scraping the floor.
And from outside the window‚ the gentle chirping of early summer morning birds.
Serina: “……Nn”
Serina repeated small blinks.
She rubbed her eyes several times with an irritated hand‚ then—.
Serina: “Huh……?”
Still half submerged in mud-like consciousness‚ she casually looked around.
It was the familiar high school classroom.
Wooden desks worn with long use and scars‚ a blackboard with faint chalk powder remaining‚ the timetable notice pinned to the wall.
And the fresh‚ dazzling morning light slanting in from the window.
All of it‚ for some reason‚ felt both like a faraway past magic lantern and strangely vivid reality.
Friend: “Serina—.
What are you spacing out for? Homeroom’s about to start.”
Called in a familiar voice from behind‚ she turned to find a familiar classmate tilting her head curiously.
Serina: “Eh……?”
Friend: “The warning bell’s about to ring‚ I tell you.”
Serina: “Ah…… right.”
When Serina looked up at the clock hanging on the classroom wall‚ the time that was no different from usual was calmly ticking there.
For some reason‚ she felt herself exhaling a small breath from deep in her chest and feeling terribly relieved.
What exactly she had been so frightened of until moments ago‚ she could no longer recall herself.
Just the fact that she was now in this place‚ settled within ordinary daily life‚ made the roughness in her heart feel as if it were gradually unraveling.
Friend: “Hey‚ wanna go to the school store at lunch today?”
Serina: “School store……?”
Friend: “Did you forget? That limited-time one goes on sale starting today‚ right?”
The moment she heard that word‚ a different switch inside Serina clicked with a vivid snap and switched over.
Serina: “……Eh?”
Friend: “Not ‘eh‚’ come on.”
Serina: “It was starting today!?”
Friend: “That’s what I’ve been saying.”
The next moment‚ Serina had stood up from her chair as if launched.
Serina: “I’m going!”
Friend: “Eh‚ right now!? Homeroom’s starting!”
Serina: “It’ll sell out!”
Friend: “First period hasn’t even started yet!”
Serina: “That’s why I have to go now!”
Tossing her school bag onto the desk‚ Serina dashed at full speed toward the classroom sliding door.
Friend: “Hey‚ Serina!”
An exasperated friend’s voice flew from behind‚ but she could no longer stop her feet.
Limited-time‚ on sale today—in other words‚ it meant the start of a fierce survival competition involving the entire school.
The absolute tragedy of selling out had to be avoided no matter what.
Serina: “Hurry……!”
Powerfully kicking the linoleum corridor‚ she dashed down the wooden stairs two steps at a time as if leaping.
Nimbly dodging the waves of other students rushing for snacks‚ Serina arrived in front of the school store‚ breathing hard.
Serina: “……!”
There‚ she involuntarily stopped her feet.
Already‚ a crowd of people had formed.
It was a much thicker wall than she had imagined.
Serina: “No way……”
Within the small crowd‚ everyone was staring at the same targeted item with glittering eyes.
New product‚ limited-time—in other words‚ it was nothing other than a war where one could not retreat even a step.
Serina: “I won’t lose……”
Muttering small to no one in particular‚ Serina slipped her body sharply into the gaps of the crowd.
Serina: “Found it……!”
She found it.
At the very back of the display shelf.
The desired package was still barely surviving.
Convinced of victory‚ Serina stretched out her right hand without hesitation.
—It was at that moment.
Serina: “……Ah”
At exactly the same timing‚ a white‚ refined hand stretched straight toward the same snack from beside her.
Serina’s movement stopped cold‚ and the other person’s fingertips also stiffened in midair.
Checking the back of the shelf.
What remained was‚ literally‚ “the last one.”
Serina‚ harboring dissatisfaction in her eyes‚ slowly looked up at the face beside her.
Serina: “……Ah”
Standing there was Louis.
The familiar profile that somehow looked sleepy and a little vacant.
Yet only the focus of those eyes was firmly capturing the last snack before him.
Serina had reflexively opened her mouth.
Serina: “I…… wanted this way first!”
After saying it in momentum‚ for just a moment
“Oh no”
regret flashed through her.
But it was already too late.
Louis compared the product and Serina’s face alternately‚ then lowered his eyebrows just a little as if troubled.
Louis: “……”
Serina: (What do I do‚ knowing stubborn Louis‚ he might not give it up……!)
As Serina waited for a reply with her heart unpleasantly pounding‚ Louis exhaled small‚ as if giving up.
Louis: “……Then‚ go ahead.”
Serina: “……Eh?”
Louis: “You want it‚ right?”
Serina: “No‚ but……”
Louis: “I wanted to try eating it a bit too‚ though.”
Louis said it far too casually.
Showing no particular signs of regret‚ he simply and flatly withdrew his own hand.
Serina‚ at that unexpectedly clean withdrawal‚ lost her words for just a moment.
Even though Louis himself had clearly seemed to want it‚ that way of giving up was surprisingly clean.
Louis: “……If you don’t take it quickly‚ the person behind will.”
Serina: “Ah‚ yeah……!”
Hastily stretching her hand to the display shelf and securing the last one‚ Serina said a small thank you in a voice mixed with awkwardness and embarrassment that had arisen in her chest.
Serina: “Thanks……!”
Louis: “Nah.”
Leaving only that short word‚ Louis left without showing any lingering attachment‚ casually heading to another shelf.
Serina watched that unreliable back for just a little‚ then immediately ran back to her friend who had joined her.
Friend: “Did you get it!?”
Serina: “I got it!”
Friend: “Nice‚ it really was the last one!”
Serina: “That was close……!”
Raising the won snack while exchanging trivial laughter with her friend.
By then‚ Louis’s figure had already melted into the corridor crowd and disappeared.
And with that‚ everything should have been over.
At least for Serina at that moment—it was nothing more than a completely ordinary peaceful morning scene of having won the limited-time snack‚ and that was all.
—That should have been it.
◇
Lunch break.
The high school classroom‚ as if the morning’s tense silence were a lie‚ was filled to overflowing with liveliness and noise.
Topics from yesterday’s variety show on TV‚ weekend shopping plans‚ complaints about annoying teachers‚ and trivial rumors about who in the class had started dating whom.
From everywhere‚ fragments of meaningless daily life could be heard without interruption.
Serina‚ while rolling trivial conversations with her friends‚ casually turned her gaze toward the window-side seat.
There was Louis.
Sitting alone by the window‚ silently bringing his simple packed lunch to his mouth.
It was not a particularly rare sight.
Louis was always like that at school.
Not completely isolated‚ and if someone spoke to him he would properly smile and respond‚ but before one knew it‚ he was always placing himself in a quiet place alone.
Boy: “Hey‚ you earlier at the school store‚ the last one was taken by a girl‚ right?”
From a slightly distant aisle‚ a classmate boy called out to Louis in a light tone.
Louis stopped his chopsticks and tilted his head curiously.
Louis: “……What?”
Boy: “The limited snack.
The last one.”
Louis: “Ah.”
Boy: “You gave it up to Serina so easily‚ right?”
At that name‚ Serina’s ears twitched in reaction.
Louis: “……You were watching?”
Boy: “I was watching.
You looked like you wanted it‚ but you gave it up so easily‚ man.”
Louis: “It’s not like I wanted to eat it that badly.”
Boy: “No no‚ as a guy you should stubbornly protect it there.
That’s lame.”
Teasing‚ cheerful laughter spread around.
Louis also smiled small‚ as if troubled.
Louis: “I just lined up late‚ that’s all.”
Boy: “Acting like an honor student.
Well whatever‚ good luck on the afternoon quiz.”
Louis: “……On what?”
Laughing half-teasingly‚ the boys left the spot.
Serina‚ somehow listening to the residual echoes of their exchange‚ found herself unable to take her gaze off the bread in her hands.
It wasn’t as if Louis was being blamed in class.
He himself was neither angry nor voicing dissatisfaction.
Even so—.
Serina: “…………”
Why was it?
The taste of the snack she had eaten after returning from the school store earlier revived vividly in her mind.
Sweet and delicious.
Certainly‚ it should have been a highly satisfying deliciousness.
Yet now‚ the empty package of the snack she had put away in her school bag strangely caught heavily in her chest.
In the morning‚ Louis had also clearly wanted that.
Even so‚ he had given it to her without showing any lingering attachment or obsession.
Serina: “……Well‚ whatever.”
Serina shook her head small and forcibly drove away the unnecessary thoughts.
It wasn’t as if she had begged and pleaded.
The one who had withdrawn his hand and given it up on his own was him.
There was no reason for her to feel apologetic.
Yes‚ there really should have been no need to think anything of it.
At least—for her at that time.
◇
After school.
In the classroom‚ a dry‚ languid silence that differed from the daytime clamor filled the air.
Students hurriedly finishing their return preparations‚ students running through the corridor carrying club equipment‚ the peculiar restless hurried atmosphere of those chased by cultural festival preparations.
The sky outside the window gradually took on a vivid madder-red color‚ beginning to gently dye the world.
Serina: “……What should I do?”
Serina‚ facing a mountain of materials spread on her wooden desk‚ clutched her head small.
Leftover work as the executive committee member regarding the class project for the cultural festival.
The questionnaire data that needed to be collected was critically insufficient.
Moreover‚ of all things‚ one more necessary tally document was nowhere to be found no matter what.
Without this‚ the subsequent balancing work would completely stall.
Serina: “Worst……!”
Honestly‚ she hadn’t wanted to take on such a troublesome role.
But having accepted it once‚ she couldn’t throw it away now.
Serina: “I heard that at the end I just had to roughly summarize the materials and add a conclusion page……”
Wasn’t there someone who knew the source of this blank data?
Thinking that‚ she looked around the dusk classroom with a pleading feeling.
Serina: “……Isn’t anyone still left?”
Yet‚ almost no human figures remained in the classroom anymore.
Serina: “……What should I do‚ it really won’t end……”
The toned-down monologue was emptily absorbed into the vacant space.
Louis: “What are you doing?”
Serina: “Eh?”
At the calm voice that suddenly descended from above‚ Serina hurriedly turned around.
There stood Louis‚ who had somehow put his school bag on his shoulder.
Serina: “……Louis?”
Louis: “Yeah‚ it’s me.”
Serina: “You were still left at school.”
Louis: “Serina‚ you’re the one who hasn’t gone home yet.”
Serina: “I’m in the biggest pinch of my life right now and stuck!”
Louis: “I can mostly tell just by looking.”
Serina: “Then‚ as an honor student good at studying‚ help me a little.”
Louis: “……With what?”
Serina: “This.”
Serina pointed at the complicated statistical materials scattered on the desk.
Serina: “I don’t know what to do‚ my head is blank.”
Louis: “……Where?”
Serina: “This‚ the most crucial information is missing.
I can’t proceed from here!”
Louis: “Just that?”
Serina: “Yeah!”
Louis exhaled small‚ then walked lightly to the side of Serina’s desk and looked down at the materials.
For a while‚ he silently chased the complicated strings of characters and numbers.
Louis: “……With this‚ first pick up the numerical values listed here and”
Serina: “Un”
Louis: “Plug them into this formula‚ and you can reverse-calculate the statistical data for the needed information‚ so”
Serina: “Un……? Um”
Louis: “Then—”
Louis continued the explanation efficiently.
Yet large question marks rapidly floated up on Serina’s face.
Louis’s mouth stopped for a moment.
Louis: “……You don’t get it?”
Serina: “I don’t get it.”
Louis: “From the beginning?”
Serina: “Yeah‚ completely.”
Louis: “……”
Louis once took his eyes off the materials as if troubled‚ then gazed at Serina’s serious face.
Louis: “Shall I explain from the beginning again?”
Serina: “Please……!”
Louis: “……Got it.”
Louis shrugged his shoulders small‚ then pointed at the same place again and began explaining even more slowly‚ breaking it down.
Louis: “So‚ do this here‚ calculate like this……”
Serina: “Hmm……?”
Louis: “……And?”
Serina: “I still don’t get it.”
Louis: “……”
A slight silence filled the dusk classroom.
Serina‚ a little anxious that she might have been exasperated at‚ awkwardly swam her gaze.
Serina: “……Sorry‚ I’m dumb.”
Louis: “No‚ it’s not that.”
Serina: “It’s fine already‚ I’ll manage somehow alone.”
Louis: “No‚ I’ll help though.”
Serina: “Which is it?”
Louis: “……”
Louis floated an awkward expression that was neither troubled nor bitter smile.
Then‚ as if resigned‚ he lowered the school bag from his shoulder to the floor.
Louis: “Is it okay if I help with this too?”
Serina: “Eh……?”
Louis: “At this rate‚ it won’t end even by tomorrow‚ right?”
Serina: “……Is it okay? Louis‚ don’t you have club or cram school?”
Louis: “It’s not like I have any urgent business to hurry home for.”
Saying that—.
Louis pulled over the empty pipe chair beside and sat down right next to Serina.
Softly‚ carried by the dusk wind‚ his rough body heat that still did not house any sweets was transmitted.
Louis: “Then‚ shall we start over from the beginning?”
Serina: “……Un!”
At that moment.
Serina somehow felt as if the lump in her chest smoothly melted away‚ and smiled small.
Louis‚ without noticing her relief‚ once again returned a serious gaze to the complicated materials in his hands.
Outside the window‚ the madder-red sunset slowly changed form‚ gently dyeing the classroom’s old wooden floor and the two’s shadows endlessly.
At this time‚ Serina still had no way of knowing.
How dazzling this casual after-school time would be‚ among all the unreasonable fates that would visit later‚ a “special day” that could never be reclaimed.
For her‚ it was just that she was a little stuck with cultural festival preparations‚ and Louis happened to pass by.
—Just that‚ a completely ordinary boring daily scene‚ it should have been.
At least‚ at that time still.
She believed in that happiness from the bottom of her heart without doubt.
Louis: “……Shall we go home together?”
Louis said that in an unreliable voice‚ dropping it casually.
Serina blinked her eyes round for just a moment‚ then nodded small with just
“Un.”
It was only that much.
They didn’t exchange any exaggerated promises.
They wouldn’t detour into the after-school town.
Just‚ the direction home was the same.
So‚ they walked side by side.
That was all.
—Yet.
In the depths of Serina’s chest‚ for some reason a small‚ small happiness like carbonated bubbles faintly popping kept rising and wouldn’t stop.
The dusk school road.
The sky beginning to be dyed madder-red illuminated the residential windows in nostalgic orange.
A housewife’s bicycle with green onions in the front basket passed by their side with a dry brake sound.
From some house’s ventilation fan‚ the scent of mild evening curry drifted softly.
A completely ordinary‚ warm dusk road where everyone headed to their respective places to return to.
Crossing the long shadows of utility poles on the ground many times‚ the two walked maintaining a constant stride.
Yet—.
Serina: “……”
Louis: “……”
Despairingly‚ there was no conversation.
Serina‚ while matching her pace‚ glanced at the side.
Louis was gazing ahead with a face that was a little sleepy and vacant‚ no different from when in the classroom.
Not particularly looking happy‚ nor looking bothered.
Just flatly matching her stride and walking.
Serina pouted her sakura-colored lips just a little.
—Why aren’t you talking about anything?
The one who said let’s go home together was you.
No‚ accurately‚ she had forced him to help with the leftover work‚ but still.
Even so‚ since they were walking side by side alone like this‚ he should at least bring up some topic a little more.
Serina: “……Hey‚ Louis”
Louis: “Nn?”
When she called out‚ Louis calmly looked her way.
Louis: “What?”
Serina: “No……”
She had stopped him in momentum‚ but when their eyes met those straight ones‚ she no longer knew what to talk about.
Serina: “……Nothing.”
Louis: “I see.”
The thread of conversation was cut far too casually.
Serina involuntarily felt sulky inside her chest.
—Try struggling a little more to expand the conversation!
Yet Louis said nothing more and faced forward again.
While gazing at that profile advancing bathed in the setting sun‚ Serina suddenly arrived at one possibility.
This person.
Could it be—.
That he was just fatally bad at initiating conversation with people himself.
The moment she realized that‚ the venom in her chest suddenly drained away‚ and she felt a little endeared and amused.
Serina: “Hey‚ Louis”
Louis: “Nn?”
Serina: “What do you usually talk about with the boys in class?”
Louis: “……What’s with that sudden question?”
Serina: “I got curious.”
Louis: “Nothing much.”
Serina: “What do you mean nothing much?”
Louis: “Ordinary stuff.”
Serina: “So‚ what is that ordinary?”
Louis: “……”
Louis clumsily closed his mouth.
That few seconds of troubled swimming time was amusing‚ and Serina spilled a fufu laugh.
Serina: “You can’t answer.”
Louis: “It’s not that I can’t answer.”
Serina: “Then answer.”
Louis: “……You’re a pain‚ you.”
Serina: “See‚ you immediately run away like that.
That’s the kind of place.”
When Serina shook her shoulders with a giggle‚ Louis furrowed a slightly dissatisfied wrinkle between his eyebrows.
Louis: “What’s so funny?”
Serina: “Well‚ you know”
Serina said while lightly pressing her bangs swaying in the evening wind with slender fingertips.
Serina: “You were a much more ordinary boy than I thought.”
At that one word‚ Louis stopped his steps cold.
Louis: “……Ha?”
Serina: “No‚ because you’re always reading difficult books alone in the classroom.
I thought you were a weirder‚ more unapproachable person.”
Louis: “That’s rude‚ Ichinose.”
Serina: “But you’re really always alone‚ right?”
Louis: “Being alone just suits my nature.”
Serina: “Heh.”
Serina peered into his face stopped in the dusk‚ gazing into those eyes.
Serina: “Then‚ today too‚ you originally intended to go home alone?”
Louis: “Well‚ yeah.”
Serina: “Aren’t you lonely?”
Louis: “Not really.”
It was a word without any bluffing or anything‚ released from the bottom of his heart as if truly curious‚ without hesitation.
Serina tilted her head just a little.
Serina: “Hmm.”
Then‚ she showed a mischievous smile unique to girls.
Serina: “Then‚ why today are you going home with me?”
Louis gazed straight back at Serina.
Louis: “……Because Ichinose said let’s go home together‚ right?”
It was announced without stagnation‚ like an already confirmed fact of the world that was all too natural.
At that excessive straightness‚ this time it was Serina who got stuck for words for just a moment.
Serina: “……I see.”
Louis: “What?”
Serina: “Nothing.”
Again‚ the depths of her chest stirred pleasantly just a little.
Louis was truly a mysterious person.
It wasn’t as if he held any special ulterior motives or expectations toward her‚ nor did he seem to treat her more kindly than the other girls around.
Yet if she was in trouble he would clumsily help to the end‚ and if she said she wanted to go home together he would match her stride and walk beside her.
As if doing so was cleanly decided from the beginning as the transparent discipline (rule) of the human being that was him.
Serina hurriedly faced forward as if to hide her embarrassment.
The dusk street continued endlessly and gently ahead of the two.
—And.
Serina: “……Ah”
Suddenly‚ Serina stopped her feet on the spot.
Louis: “What’s wrong?”
Serina: “I’m hungry.”
Louis made a clearly exasperated face and sighed.
Louis: “You just ate that whole limited cookie from the school store earlier‚ right?”
Serina: “When I walk I get hungry.
That’s the specification.”
Louis: “Is that how it is?”
Serina: “That’s how it is.”
Serina‚ still stopped‚ opened her school bag and groped inside with a rustling hand.
Serina: “Found it……!”
What she took out was a small box of commercial chocolate candy that could be obtained at a supermarket.
Different from the special one she had been given by Louis at the school store in the morning‚ it was her private item brought from home.
Trying to open the aluminum packaging—suddenly‚ Serina’s fingertips stopped.
She gazed fixedly at Louis’s face standing beside her.
Serina: “……Want some?”
Louis: “Of what?”
Serina: “Snack.”
Louis thought a little logically‚ then awkwardly averted his gaze.
Louis: “No‚ it’s fine.”
Serina: “Why?”
Louis: “It’s not like I want to eat it that much.”
Serina: “Lie.”
Louis: “Ha?”
Serina peeled the silver paper from the vivid box and pinched one brown chocolate with her fingertips.
Serina: “In the morning when you lined up at the school store‚ you looked like you really wanted that‚ right?”
Louis fell silent looking embarrassed.
It was a bullseye.
Serina smiled lovably with a soft grin as if convinced of victory.
Serina: “See.”
Louis: “……Not really.”
Serina: “Louis‚ you love sweet things‚ right?”
Louis: “It’s not like I like them that much……”
Serina: “Then‚ you really don’t need it?”
Serina tried to withdraw the offered snack a little mischievously.
Then—.
Louis: “……No”
Louis leaked a small yet clear voice.
Louis: “……I do.”
Serina‚ as if getting her way‚ smiled softly from the bottom of her heart looking delighted.
Serina: “Here‚ go ahead.”
When she offered it‚ Louis received that one brown piece from Serina’s fingertips with somewhat clumsy hands.
Louis: “……Thanks.”
Serina: “You’re welcome.”
The two‚ still stopped on the madder-red dyed dusk roadside‚ simultaneously tossed it into their mouths.
Crunch.
The light sound of a small nut being crushed by the back teeth overlapped cleanly in the quiet space.
Serina: “……”
Louis: “……”
Serina tried observing Louis’s profile as he chewed.
Serina: “How is it?”
Louis: “……Ordinary.”
Serina: “Ordinary?”
Louis: “No‚ it’s delicious though.”
Louis‚ while keeping his gaze straight ahead‚ after a slightly awkward pause‚ added casually.
Louis: “……Ordinarily delicious.”
That endlessly unable-to-be-honest clumsy way of speaking was somehow like him‚ and Serina couldn’t help but
“Pfft”
burst out.
Louis: “Why are you laughing?”
Serina: “Because‚ you know”
Serina took another snack from the box and tossed it into her own mouth.
Serina: “Louis‚ only when you’re eating snacks‚ your face looks just a little happy.”
At that pointing out‚ Louis’s expression stiffened with a snap.
Louis: “……That’s not true.”
Serina: “It is.”
Louis: “It’s not.”
Serina: “It is‚ I tell you!”
Louis: “……It’s not.”
For a while‚ the two‚ while repeatedly exchanging such meaningless childlike retorts‚ slowly started walking again.
The madder-red dyed dusk way home.
Two shadows walking side by side.
If it were the her of until yesterday‚ Serina would never even have imagined going home laughing together with Louis like this.
Just knowing each other’s names.
Being at opposite ends of the same classroom.
Just that‚ unrelated existences.
Yet now‚ they were side by side like this.
Just that alone made her feel a strange illusion as if the world’s contours had been colored a little more vividly.
Serina: “……Hey‚ Louis”
Serina called out to the shadow of the boy walking beside her.
Louis: “Nn?”
Serina: “Tomorrow too…… go home together?”
Louis widened his eyes a little as if surprised‚ then exhaled small as if giving up.
Louis: “……Not like I mind.”
Hearing that clumsy and blunt acceptance‚ Serina smiled as if a flower had bloomed in her chest.
Serina: “Then‚ it’s decided.”
Louis: “Decided…… what is?”
Serina: “No‚ nothing.”
Going home side by side together tomorrow too.
It was far too modest to call a promise‚ and never an exaggerated vow.
Yet for Serina‚ it was more than enough reason to look forward a little more to the school chime ringing tomorrow than today.
At this time‚ she still had no way of knowing.
That such a casual day’s scenery would.
Someday become the one and only brilliant memory 《original》 that she would least want to let go of in her life.
That this boy walking beside her today‚ shortening his stride just a little.
Would someday become the one and only existence she would wish to protect even by staking everything of her world.
The burning setting sun slowly sank beyond the roofs of the houses.
The two’s shadows‚ on the long asphalt‚ while gradually shortening that distance a little at a time‚ stretched side by side.
Serina said casually as if suddenly thinking of it.
Serina: “Louis”
Louis: “Nn?”
Serina: “Tomorrow too‚ I’ll bring some delicious snacks.”
Louis made a face that looked a little troubled‚ or perhaps flustered.
Louis: “You don’t have to bring them every day.”
Serina: “Why? Even though you’re a clumsy guy who loves sweets.”
Louis: “……You’ll get fat‚ you.”
Suddenly.
Serina’s steps stopped‚ and the color drained smoothly from her expression.
Serina: “……Louis.
What did you just say?”
Louis’s complexion visibly changed as if panicking.
Louis: “No……”
Serina: “Just now‚ you said get fat?”
Louis: “……I didn’t say it.”
Serina: “You said it‚ right? You completely said it‚ right!?”
Louis: “Mishearing.
Just now‚ it was the sound of the wind.”
Serina: “It’s completely windless though!?”
Serina closed the distance with eyes as if hunting prey‚ slowly advancing.
Louis‚ clearly agitated‚ took a step back as if shielding himself with his school bag.
Louis: “No‚ so‚ that…… from the general viewpoint of health management‚ you know.”
Serina glared fixedly at Louis’s straight eyes.
A few seconds of time where their gazes intertwined.
And—.
Serina: “……Fufu”
Suddenly‚ unable to hold it in‚ she laughed as if bursting out.
Serina: “Just kidding‚ kidding!”
Louis froze on the spot as if taken aback.
Louis: “……Ha?”
Serina: “You don’t have to make a face like the world ended.”
Louis: “Ichinose…… you……”
Serina: “But‚ you know”
Serina‚ with the burning setting sun at her back‚ bloomed today’s best special smile at him.
Serina: “Snacks‚ tomorrow too I’ll definitely‚ stubbornly bring them!”
Louis: “……Do as you like.”
Louis exhaled a deep‚ deep sigh as if thoroughly exasperated from the bottom of his heart.
Yet—that clumsy face was just a little.
Within the time spent together this one day‚ smiling the most gently and softly.
Serina never missed that expression of his.
So she too‚ infected‚ smiled looking truly happy from the heart.
It was a casual‚ boring day.
Truly‚ nothing more than just that kind of day.
The world was not saved by anyone.
No historical major incident occurred.
No one met a cruel death‚ nor did anyone save someone from an unreasonable tragedy.
Just‚ in the morning‚ wanting the exact same limited snack at the school store.
At noon‚ being a little curious about him eating lunch alone by the window.
After school‚ being helped with leftover work by the clumsy yet smart him.
And walking the madder-red way home‚ the two of them‚ matching strides one step at a time.
Just that much.
Tomorrow too‚ it became that they would go home together as a matter of course—.
Just that much.
—Truly‚ just that much‚ an ordinary daily life (youth) that could be found anywhere‚ it should have been.
Yet—for Serina.
That
“just that much”
trivial brilliance would someday.
Even by throwing away her own omnipotence (life) as a god‚ transform into the most precious “world” itself that she wanted to eternally confine within this miniature garden.
The fate of the two’s shortened backs melting and disappearing into the setting sun.
At this time still‚ no one had any way of knowing.
The next morning.
Opening the classroom sliding door with a rattle at the usual time‚ the still sparse students were chatting languidly in front of the blackboard.
In the fresh morning light slanting in‚ intending to head to her own window-side seat without thinking—.
Serina: “Morning‚ Louis!”
Louis involuntarily stopped his feet on the spot.
Louis: “……Morning‚ Ichinose.”
It was Serina.
Same as yesterday.
No‚ with a face just a little more “matter of course” than yesterday‚ she was standing right beside Louis’s wooden desk as if she had been there from the beginning.
Serina: “You’re early today too.”
Louis: “You too‚ Ichinose.”
Serina: “Today‚ I woke up a little early and came.”
Louis: “I see.”
Louis hung his school bag on the desk hook.
Then‚ somehow stole a glance at Serina’s face standing before him.
Louis: “……What?”
Serina: “Eh?”
Louis: “Do you have some business with me?”
Serina tilted her head a little mischievously there and smiled.
Serina: “I do.”
From inside her school bag‚ she took out a small cute paper bag.
Serina: “Here‚ this!”
Placed with a soft sound on the wooden desk was a new snack different from yesterday’s.
Louis gazed alternately at the bag on the desk and Serina’s innocent face.
Louis: “……What’s this?”
Serina: “Snack.”
Louis: “I can tell by looking.”
Serina: “Then‚ wanna eat?”
Louis fell silent a little clumsily.
Yesterday‚ he had certainly driven the nail that she didn’t have to bring them every day.
Louis: “……You really brought it.”
Serina: “I said so‚ right? That I’d definitely bring it.”
Louis: “Even though I said you don’t have to bring them every day.”
Serina: “But‚ you know‚ Louis‚ when you eat snacks your face looks really happy.”
Serina declared it boldly as if it were a universal law of the world.
Louis furrowed his eyebrows a little troubled‚ looking embarrassed.
Louis: “……It’s not like I like them that much……”
Serina: “Hmm.
Then‚ you really don’t need it?”
Serina tried to withdraw the snack bag a little mischievously toward herself.
Louis: “No”
Reflexively‚ Louis’s right hand stretched out.
Serina’s hand stopped cold.
In the clear morning light‚ the two’s gazes perfectly overlapped.
Serina: “……See‚ you do need it.”
Louis: “……I do.”
Serina: “Wasn’t it that you don’t like them that much?”
Louis: “Not really.”
Serina: “Again with that? Louis‚ you always say ‘not really’ right away.”
Serina laughed with a giggle looking happy.
Louis this time completely awkwardly averted his gaze.
Louis: “……Ichinose‚ aren’t you teasing me too much?”
Serina: “I know.”
Serina puffed her chest looking truly delighted.
While gazing at that carefree dazzling smile‚ Louis was somehow thinking such things in a corner of his head.
In the daily life until yesterday‚ he would never even have imagined exchanging gazes with her like this.
The girl named Ichinose Serina was a resident of a place much farther away‚ he had thought.
Always talking lively with someone at the center of the class‚ always smiling like the sun.
Someone living in a different world‚ unrelated to a shade-dwelling human like him.
He had always decided it that way.
Yet now.
She was standing right beside his desk from first thing in the morning‚ with a matter-of-course face‚ offering him a snack addressed to him.
Louis: “……Weird.”
Louis murmured small‚ dropping it casually.
Serina: “What is?”
Louis: “No…… until yesterday‚ we never talked this much‚ right?”
Serina tilted her head just a little and seriously pondered.
Serina: “That’s true.”
Louis: “Yet”
Serina: “Un”
Serina gazed straight back into Louis’s eyes.
Serina: “But from yesterday‚ we’re talking a lot‚ right?”
That was all.
An answer that was far too simple and straightforward.
Louis fell silent a little‚ then exhaled small as if resigning himself.
Louis: “……Yeah.”
◇
From that day on‚ Serina began coming to Louis’s seat many times.
In the short break of less than ten minutes between classes.
Serina: “Hey‚ Louis”
While he was meticulously copying the blackboard characters into his notebook.
Serina: “Hey‚ what do you think of this?”
And right after the chime for the end of fourth period rang out‚ in the lively lunch break.
Serina: “Hey‚ Louis.
Wanna eat lunch together?”
Louis each time asked‚
“Why with me?”
looking puzzled.
Serina each time answered‚
“Just because”
looking happy.
There was no grander reason than that.
At least for Serina herself.
—Really‚ just that?
Such a small voice seemed to be faintly heard somewhere in her heart.
But Serina decided not to think about it any deeper.
There was no need to think anywhere.
Just‚ the time exchanging words with Louis like this was fun.
Just that was all.
While the classroom was enveloped in the clamor of girls’ groups rattling wooden desks together and boys dashing to the school store—.
Serina‚ holding her cute lunch box‚ as if it were a natural right‚ sat down with a plop in the seat opposite Louis.
Serina: “Hey”
Louis: “……You came again‚ Ichinose.”
Serina: “Un‚ I came again.”
Louis: “Where are your friends?”
Serina: “They’re properly there.”
Louis: “Then you should eat with that group over there.”
Serina: “Today‚ I’m in the mood for this seat.”
Louis gazed at the simple packed lunch he brought‚ then stole a glance at Ichinose’s face spreading colorful side dishes in the opposite seat.
Louis: “……Even if you eat with me‚ it won’t be even a millimeter interesting‚ right?”
At that blunt word‚ Serina stopped both hands that had been about to break the disposable chopsticks just a little.
Serina: “Why?”
Louis: “Why‚ you say……”
Serina: “Even now‚ we’re talking normally and having fun‚ right?”
Louis: “That’s true‚ but”
Louis lowered his gaze a little self-mockingly to the tip of the chopsticks in his hands.
Louis: “I can’t say funny things that make the class laugh.
I’m not the type to liven up the place either.”
Serina tilted her head just a little and thought.
Certainly‚ Louis was not the type to make people burst out laughing with funny stories.
He didn’t shout loudly‚ nor was he always in the spotlight at the center of conversation.
But.
Serina: “Not really.”
Serina said with a bright smile.
Serina: “It’s fine even if it’s not interesting.”
Louis lifted his face as if struck.
Serina‚ still holding chopsticks‚ continued gently with the triviality of talking about tomorrow’s weather.
Serina: “We’re just eating packed lunch together‚ after all.”
Just that much.
Just the moment she heard that casual one word.
Louis’s somewhat tense expression visibly softened just a little.
Serina‚ without noticing that small change of his‚ pointed a little embarrassedly with the tip of her chopsticks at a corner of her own lunch box.
Serina: “This‚ the rolled omelet I made.
It’s really delicious.
Wanna eat?”
Louis: “No‚ I have my own so it’s fine.”
Serina: “Come on‚ just try a bite.”
Louis: “Why?”
Serina: “Because I made it‚ so it’s definitely delicious!”
Louis hesitated a little as if logically conflicting‚ then
“……Then‚ I’ll take just one bite”
answered in a mutter.
Serina looking happy
“Here‚ go ahead!”
thrust the chopsticks still holding the yellow rolled omelet right in front of his eyes.
Louis trying to receive it—.
Serina: “Ah”
The two’s movements stopped cold in midair.
What Serina was offering was the very “chopsticks” she herself had just put in her mouth earlier.
Louis: “……”
Serina: “……”
Louis fell silent.
Serina also stopped moving and fell silent.
Within the clamor of lunch break‚ only between the two‚ a silence that strangely made the ears hot lay for a few seconds.
Louis: “……Ichinose‚ those‚ you already used them‚ right?”
Louis asked in a low‚ quiet voice.
Serina: “Un‚ I used them.”
Serina confessed honestly without hiding.
Louis: “Then‚ no.”
Louis smoothly withdrew his own hand.
Serina showed a little pouty cheeks looking dissatisfied.
Serina: “It’s fine‚ right?
It’s not like it’ll decrease.”
Louis: “It’s not fine‚ normally.”
Serina: “Why?”
Louis: “Why‚ you say……”
Louis made an obviously embarrassed face‚ revealing his confusion.
Seeing his state‚ Serina tilted her head innocently.
Serina: “Could it be—because it’s an indirect kiss?”
Louis completely froze on the spot like stone.
For Serina‚ she had really just said it as mere teasing‚ as if it were nothing.
Louis: “……!”
Louis‚ dyeing even the back of his ears red looking embarrassed‚ swiftly averted that gaze to the blue sky outside the window.
Louis: “You…… don’t say such things so easily to guys……”
Serina widened her eyes just a little‚ then.
Serina: “Ah”
Made a clear face as if noticing something.
Serina: “Louis‚ are you seriously embarrassed?”
Louis: “……No.”
Serina: “Lie‚ the back of your ears is bright red‚ you know?”
Louis: “They’re not red.”
Serina: “They’re super red‚ I tell you!”
Louis: “I’m saying they’re not red.”
Serina‚ for a while‚ affectionately gazed at Louis’s profile desperately trying to look at the blue sky outside the window.
And—fufu‚ she laughed out loud‚ mischievously.
Serina: “Somehow‚ cute.”
Louis: “……Ha?”
Serina: “No‚ nothing!”
Serina‚ in a good mood‚ began eating her own colorful packed lunch.
Louis for a while silently moved his chopsticks with a sulky face.
Eventually—.
Louis: “……You‚ you’re definitely saying it on purpose‚ right?”
At the boy’s grumble dropped casually‚ Serina was just laughing looking happy.
◇
That day’s after school.
As soon as the return homeroom ended‚ as if it were a natural decided matter.
Serina: “Louis‚ let’s go home together!”
Serina came to Louis’s window-side seat holding her bag and said.
Louis‚ while lifting his school bag‚ clumsily turned away with a huff.
Louis: “……I never promised even a word about going home together today‚ right?”
At that word‚ Serina’s movement stopped cold.
Serina: “Eh……?”
For just a moment.
Her expression clouded understandably as if the setting sun were shadowed.
The moment he saw that was far more of a panicking situation for Louis.
Louis: “N-No…… it’s not like I said I won’t go home together.”
Serina: “Then‚ will you go home together?”
Serina’s expression returned to its original dazzlingness as if a large flower had bloomed with a pop.
Louis: “……Yeah‚ I’ll go.”
Louis exhaled a small sigh of surrender as if completely taken one by her.
Serina: “Then‚ you should have said so honestly from the start.”
Serina laughed innocently as if teasing.
Serina: “Because Louis says mean things‚ I get surprised‚ you know?”
Louis: “……I never said even a word of mean things.”
Serina: “You did.”
Louis: “I didn’t.”
While repeatedly exchanging such middle-school-like childlike quarrels‚ the two left the empty dusk classroom.
The long corridor gently dyed orange.
The wooden stairs passing other students hurrying to clubs.
The after-school entrance where the two’s regular shoe sounds quietly resounded.
In the daily life until yesterday‚ for Louis it was just a boring place to coldly pass through alone.
Yet today—right beside him‚ Serina was there.
Serina: “Hey‚ Louis”
Louis: “Nn?”
Serina: “Tomorrow too‚ let’s definitely go home together.”
Louis furrowed a wrinkle just a little between his eyebrows and thought logically.
Louis: “……It’s not like we have to bother promising every day‚ right?”
Serina stopped her feet cold just before the entrance.
Serina: “Do you really hate going home with me?”
Louis: “I don’t hate it.”
Serina: “Then‚ tomorrow too we’ll go home together.
That’s fine‚ right?”
Louis: “No‚ so……”
Louis clumsily got stuck for words.
Seeing that through‚ Serina showed a full smile bathed in the setting sun’s light.
Serina: “Then‚ it’s decided!”
Again‚ it was decided at her pace on her own.
Louis smiled clumsily‚ a little exasperated‚ yet unable to hide the somehow warm happiness that lit in the depths of his chest.
Louis: “……Got it.”
Hearing that acceptance‚ Serina smiled softly as if relieved from the bottom of her heart.
While gazing at that carefree smile‚ Louis was somehow thinking such things in a corner of his head.
—Not really.
Going home together with this guy every day like this might not be bad either‚ he thought.
From then on—the two went home side by side together many‚ many times.
One day.
Two days.
Three days.
Before they knew it‚ when the after-school chime rang out‚ Serina came to Louis’s window-side seat as naturally as breathing.
Serina: “Louis‚ let’s go home!”
At that one word‚ Louis who had shown a little confusion at first.
By the time several days of calm time had passed‚ while meticulously organizing inside his school bag‚ he would answer as a matter of course like this.
Louis: “Wait a bit.
I haven’t finished putting away the materials yet.”
And Serina too—.
Serina: “Got it.
I’ll wait quietly here.”
Without holding even a single question or hesitation‚ she waited beside him as if it were a natural right.
That.
Before they knew it‚ had become the world named “daily life” that no one could invade for the two.
Yet—.
One day‚ that modest daily gear showed just a little madness.
Morning.
Serina opened the classroom sliding door with a rattle at the usual time‚
“Morning‚ Louis!”
while making her voice spring‚ turned her gaze with a natural motion toward the window-side seat.
Yet there was no one.
Because the time was still early‚ probably.
Optimistically thinking that‚ she headed to her own seat and waited a while with idle hands.
Eventually‚ the warning bell chime announcing morning homeroom rang out.
Even so‚ Louis did not come.
During class‚ Serina stole glances at Louis’s empty seat many times.
The cold wooden desk without its master.
Just there‚ the space was gapingly empty.
Just that much‚ yet.
Why was it?
Today’s classroom looked a little wider than usual‚ terribly empty and desolate like a vacant hall.
Even at lunch break‚ there was no figure of Louis.
Even when the after-school chime rang‚ of course‚
“Wait a bit.
I haven’t put things away yet”
there was no one anywhere who would stop her looking a little exasperated.
Serina left the lonely entrance alone.
Evening.
The madder-red school road they had been walking matching strides until just yesterday‚ today she walked alone.
In the days a little before‚ going home alone was ordinary daily life.
For many years she had been doing so without any inconvenience.
Even so.
Only today‚ for some reason.
It was terribly boring.
Serina‚ on the empty roadside where the setting sun was falling‚ casually stopped her feet.
Serina: “……Weird.”
She murmured in a small‚ hoarse voice.
Just one day‚ just a clumsy classmate taking a day off from school.
Just that much‚ yet she had searched for that empty window-side seat with her eyes many times throughout today.
On the way home‚ even though she understood in her head that no one was beside her‚ she had unconsciously looked back beside her many times.
Serina: “……”
Serina put her slender hand into her school bag.
At her fingertips‚ a small paper bag rustled in contact.
The limited snack she had somehow bought at the school store in the morning.
Before she knew it—unconsciously‚ she had purchased two of them.
One for herself.
And the other for.
—Louis’s share.
Serina kept gazing fixedly at that simple snack placed on her own palm.
Serina: “……Why did I buy two?”
The clear answer to that stir in her chest was still unknown to her.
While not knowing‚ Serina carefully‚ carefully put that one snack back into the depths of her bag with hands treating it like a fragile item so it wouldn’t get crushed.
Tomorrow‚ when Louis comes to school‚ I’ll give this to him first thing.
She thought that.
Just that much‚ a trivial promise for tomorrow.
……That should have been it.
That night.
Even after turning off the room light and getting into bed‚ Serina was somehow thinking in the darkness.
—Tomorrow‚ will he properly come to school?
She gazed fixedly at the dark ceiling where moonlight faintly filtered in for a while.
And—.
Serina: “……I’m lonely.”
In the empty‚ silent room‚ she murmured small‚ dropping it casually.
There was no returning voice.
That was far too natural a thing‚ though.
◇
The next morning.
Serina‚ with her hand on the high school classroom sliding door‚ for some reason was taking a small deep breath.
The reason she herself didn’t know.
Yesterday‚ Louis taking a day off from school was apparently just a light cold.
A classmate she met at the school gate in the morning had told her so.
Hearing that‚ Serina in her heart
“Oh‚ is that so”
felt relieved.
Just that was all.
That should have been all.
Yet from yesterday all day‚ she had kept thinking about Louis many times.
And now‚ from the moment just before opening the classroom door‚ she was terribly‚ heart-painfully concerned about whether Louis’s figure was there.
—Not really‚ it’s no big deal.
Just giving the snack she bought yesterday.
Yes‚ just that much.
Serina pulled the classroom door as if convincing herself.
And‚ more than anything first—ran her gaze toward the window-side‚ Louis’s seat.
He was there.
By the window.
The usual special seat.
He was‚ same as always‚ resting his elbow on the wooden desk‚ vacantly gazing at the scenery outside the window.
The moment Serina recognized that familiar figure on her retina—she felt a sensation as if the cold thread stubbornly tensed in the depths of her chest instantly melted and unraveled with a soft.
I’m truly glad.
That word of relief floated up in her mind far too naturally.
Yet she was too embarrassed to say it out loud.
Instead.
Serina: “Louis‚ morning!”
She called out in a bright voice just a little higher in tone than usual.
Louis slowly turned around looking surprised.
Louis: “……Morning‚ Ichinose.”
A face of an equal-sized boy looking a little surprised‚ blank.
Serina‚ seeing that embarrassed face‚ smiled as if hiding the bounce in her chest.
Serina: “Is the cold already okay?”
Louis: “Well‚ yeah.”
Serina: “You had quite a fever‚ right?”
Louis: “Just a little.”
Serina: “Did you sleep a lot yesterday properly?”
Louis: “I slept.”
Serina: “Did you eat meals properly?”
Louis: “I ate.”
Serina: “Medicine?”
Louis: “I took it.”
Serina: “Really?”
Louis: “……Really.
Are you my mother or something?”
Louis lowered his slender eyebrows a little looking puzzled.
Louis: “What’s with the sudden barrage of questions?”
Serina suddenly got stuck for words.
She herself realized that‚ from the relief of being able to reunite‚ she had asked a little too rapidly in succession.
Serina: “Not really……!”
Saying as if glossing over childishly‚ Louis gazed fixedly as if peering into such Serina’s profile.
Louis: “……Could it be‚ you were worried?”
At that far too unexpected one word‚ Serina’s movement stiffened cold.
Serina: “H-Haa!? Why would I……!”
Louis: “No‚ yesterday”
Louis‚ while lowering his gaze to the top of the wooden desk‚ lowered the tone of his voice just a little‚ saying somehow awkwardly.
Louis: “Because I suddenly took a day off from school.”
Serina: “Not really!”
Serina answered more rapidly than usual as if cutting him off.
Serina: “I wasn’t worried even a bit!”
Louis: “I see.”
Serina: “Un.”
Louis: “……Then‚ fine‚ but”
Serina: “But……”
Serina there got stuck on the next words she should spin.
Hesitating a little in the back of her throat.
Even so‚ wanting to convey the true feelings born within herself to him no matter what.
Serina: “……Yesterday‚ it was really boring.”
A voice that seemed about to vanish yet carried certain heat fell into the morning classroom.
Louis lifted his face as if struck.
Serina felt her heartbeats pounding so high it seemed they would be heard by him‚ and hurriedly averted her gaze outside the window.
Serina: “Somehow……”
Desperately searching for words to make excuses inside her head.
Serina: “Going home alone on the usual school road……”
After a little frustrating pause.
Serina: “……It was way quieter than usual.”
Louis said nothing.
Serina herself seemed about to no longer understand what she was blurting out.
If this continued‚ the bittersweet mass hidden in the depths of her chest would all spill out.
So—she desperately as if glossing over‚ hurriedly opened the zipper of the school bag in her hands.
Serina: “Ah‚ that’s right!”
And took out the small package that had been carefully sleeping in the pocket of her school bag since yesterday.
A commercial small chocolate.
Serina: “Here‚ this.”
She offered it with a soft sound on top of Louis’s wooden desk.
He gazed at it looking curious.
Louis: “What?”
Serina: “Snack.”
Louis: “I can tell by looking.”
Serina: “Yesterday‚ I bought it thinking I’d give it to Louis.”
Louis’s fingertips stopped cold.
Louis: “……Yesterday?”
Serina: “Un.”
Louis: “But yesterday I was taking a day off from school‚ right?”
Serina: “That’s why I couldn’t give it.”
Serina said it brightly as if it were no big deal.
Yet Louis for a while kept gazing fixedly at that palm-sized snack as if deciphering some difficult mathematical formula.
Louis: “……This‚ you really bought it as my share?”
Serina: “Un.”
Louis: “Why?”
At that far too straight boy’s question‚ Serina got stuck for words just a little and ran her thoughts.
—Why? Even she herself didn’t really understand a logical reason.
Yesterday‚ she found the snack package at the school store.
At that moment‚ without any hesitation‚ far too naturally she had taken two boxes in her hands.
One for herself.
And the other for Louis’s share.
There was no particular clear reason or motive.
Yet.
Serina: “……Because Louis seemed like he’d like this too.”
Answering that felt the most fitting for her now.
Louis smiled a little troubled as if to hide embarrassment.
Louis: “Did I ever directly tell Ichinose that I love snacks that much?”
Serina: “You didn’t.”
Louis: “Then‚ how do you know?”
Serina puffed her chest a little mischievously‚
“I just know!”
answered looking triumphant as if proud of victory.
Serina: “Somehow‚ I see through everything.”
Louis: “Somehow‚ you say……”
Serina: “Un.”
Louis exhaled as if thoroughly exasperated‚ yet somehow looking happy.
Louis: “As always so vague‚ you are.”
Serina: “But I hit it right‚ right?”
Louis: “……Well‚ yeah.”
Serina laughed shaking her shoulders with a giggle.
Serina: “See‚ I knew it.”
Louis for a while kept gazing fixedly at that small package placed on the wooden desk.
Then‚ truly small‚ in a hoarse voice‚
“……Thanks”
he said.
Serina‚ hearing that clumsy word of gratitude of his—for some reason‚ felt so happy her chest tightened tightly.
Serina: “You’re welcome!”
Just that much of a trivial exchange.
Handing over one snack and being told thanks.
Truly‚ just that much.
Yet Serina‚ until returning to her own seat in the short while‚ could not stop her mouth that kept loosening no matter what.
◇
Lunch break.
The fourth period chime rang out‚ and Serina as usual‚ holding her cute lunch box‚ tried to head toward Louis’s seat.
—It was midway there.
Friend: “Serina—!”
Called to a stop from behind by a close female friend in class.
Serina: “Nn? What is it?”
Friend: “Today‚ let’s eat lunch together with that group over there.”
Serina: “Eh……?”
Serina stopped her steps and for just a moment ran her gaze toward Louis’s window-side seat.
Louis was just taking out his simple packed lunch from his school bag.
Yesterday’s lunch break‚ that seat had been gapingly empty.
Yet today‚ he was certainly there.
Just that much‚ yet Serina after hesitating looking a little frustrated for just a moment—.
Serina: “……No‚ sorry.”
Turning toward her friend‚ she spun clear words of refusal.
Serina: “Today‚ I have a prior engagement a bit.”
Friend: “Prior engagement?”
Serina: “Un.”
Serina gazed at Louis’s back standing alone by the window.
Serina: “Because I’m eating packed lunch together with Louis.”
In the seat opposite‚ Louis’s right hand that had been about to open the lid of his packed lunch stopped cold.
The friend who called her out rounded her eyes in astonishment‚ comparing Serina and Louis’s figures many times alternately.
Friend: “Eh……?”
Serina: “What?”
Friend: “No‚ nothing……”
Just a little‚ her friend’s lips warped with a grin as if teasing.
Friend: “When did you get so close?”
At her female friend’s words‚ Serina ran her thoughts just a little.
When.
Really‚ when was it?
In the morning‚ being given the last snack at the school store.
After school‚ when stuck with leftover class work‚ being quietly helped.
Walking that madder-red way home together for the first time.
The next day‚ talking again from the morning.
Going home matching strides again.
Before she knew it—being right beside Louis had changed into a far too natural “ordinary thing” without holding even a little special feeling.
So.
Serina: “……I wonder when.”
Serina answered honestly as if placing a hand on her own chest.
Friend: “What’s that‚ don’t dodge it~”
Her friend laughed looking exasperated.
Serina also laughed infected.
Serina: “See you tomorrow!”
Friend: “Yeah yeah‚ take your time the two of you~”
Her friend returned to her own group’s seats still floating a grinning smile.
Serina with bouncing steps sat down right in the seat opposite Louis.
Louis: “……Prior engagement‚ huh?”
Louis leaked a voice looking a little exasperated‚ yet somehow uncomfortable.
Serina looking happy spread her own colorful packed lunch.
Serina: “Un!”
Louis: “I don’t remember making any such promise even a millimeter though.”
Serina: “I just decided it here now so it’s fine.”
Louis: “……Is that so.”
While muttering complaints‚ Louis’s mouth corners softened just a little gently.
Serina didn’t miss that small change of his‚ filling the depths of her chest a little more with happiness.
Louis: “What?”
Serina: “No‚ nothing~”
Louis: “What is it‚ say it.”
Serina: “……Really‚ nothing at all.”
Louis awkwardly swam his gaze‚ and took out the small snack he had just received from Serina in the morning from his pocket.
Louis: “This.”
Serina: “Eating it now?”
Louis: “No‚ I’ll make it dessert after finishing the packed lunch.”
Serina: “It’s really delicious so look forward to it.”
Louis: “Because it’s Ichinose’s recommendation?”
Serina: “Un!”
Louis after pretending to ponder a little mischievously—.
Louis: “Then‚ I’ll eat it without expectations.”
Serina: “What’s that!”
Louis: “If I expect too much‚ the hurdle rises and it might not taste good‚ right?”
Serina: “That’s not true! It’s definitely delicious!”
Louis: “It is.”
Serina: “It’s not!”
Louis: “It is‚ I tell you.”
Serina: “It’s not‚ I say!”
The two again argued about such meaningless trivial things.
And before they knew it.
From neither in particular‚ the two together matched voices and laughed.
◇
After school.
That day too‚ as soon as the homeroom chime rang out‚ Serina came to Louis’s seat as a matter of course.
Serina: “Louis‚ let’s go home!”
Louis lifted his school bag.
Louis: “You’re early coming to my seat today.”
Serina: “What?”
Louis: “Normally you’d talk with friends before coming‚ right?”
Serina: “Today‚ I decided to go to Louis right after homeroom ends.”
Louis: “Is that so.”
The two side by side left the after-school classroom.
Walking the corridor dyed orange.
Descending the stairs one step at a time.
Heading to the entrance.
Already‚ that series of actions was something without even a little special feeling for the two.
Until just a few days ago‚ an inorganic place they each passed through alone.
Yet now‚ someone was right beside.
Just that much.
Just that much‚ yet Serina was so happy her steps bounced.
Exiting the school gate.
The pleasant early summer evening wind blew through‚ and Serina’s silver hair swayed softly.
Serina suddenly looked up at Louis’s profile walking beside her.
Serina: “Hey‚ Louis”
Louis: “Nn?”
Serina: “Yesterday”
Louis: “What?”
Serina: “You took a day off from school with a cold‚ right?”
Louis: “Un.”
Serina: “If you take a day off again tomorrow……”
Louis looked her way straight looking curious.
Serina chose her words just a little‚ as if hiding the embarrassment in the depths of her chest‚
“……I’ll be really bored‚ you know”
she said‚ dropping it casually.
Louis fell silent for just a moment looking surprised.
Louis: “Why would you get bored?”
Serina: “I don’t know.”
Louis: “You don’t know‚ huh?”
Serina: “But‚ you know”
Serina quietly faced forward.
The dusk way home.
On the madder-red dyed asphalt‚ the two’s distorted shadows stretched side by side.
Serina: “When Louis isn’t there”
It becomes a strange feeling as if the depths of my chest become a little empty.
The true name of that bittersweet and poignant emotion‚ Serina still had no way of knowing.
So—.
Serina: “……It’s way too quiet.”
She said only that‚ as if entrusting the words to the night wind.
Louis fell silent a little clumsily‚ then quietly answered like this.
Louis: “Then…… I’ll try not to take days off from school as much as possible.”
Serina smiled while being filled with something warm in the depths of her chest.
Serina: “Un!”
Louis: “But if I catch a cold that’s unavoidable‚ right?”
Serina: “That’s unavoidable.
But definitely don’t catch a cold!”
Louis: “You’re strict‚ you.”
Serina: “If you catch one‚ cure it in an instant!”
Louis: “……Got it.”
Just that much.
Just that much of a trivial childlike conversation.
Yet Serina‚ hearing that unreliable promise‚ felt relieved as if saved from the bottom of her heart.
Tomorrow too‚ Louis will come to school as a matter of course.
Tomorrow too‚ he’ll be sitting in the usual window-side seat.
At lunch break too‚ maybe we’ll eat together as a matter of course again.
After school too‚ maybe he’ll go home matching strides with me again.
Such a future of “tomorrow” that hasn’t even come yet.
Just for that reason alone‚ became a little endearingly something to look forward to.
Serina‚ while walking side by side‚ suddenly let her mouth corners that seemed about to spill bloom looking happy.
Louis: “……What‚ what’s funny this time?”
Louis peered into her face looking puzzled and asked.
Serina: “No‚ nothing at all!”
Louis: “Again with that.”
Serina: “Really nothing!”
Louis smiled a little exasperated‚ yet somehow looking happy.
Serina also laughed infected by that.
The burning setting sun slowly‚ endlessly dyed the path the two were advancing from now on in red.
—And.
Serina‚ within this happy moment‚ still knew nothing.
That this casual‚ warm way-home scenery that could be found anywhere.
Would someday‚ in the cold darkness of another world‚ become something she searches for many times‚ crying out loud in the depths of dreams.
That a cruel day when being beside him is no longer a matter of course would someday visit.
The me of that time knew nothing at all.
So‚ now.
Just walked his warm side.
Louis is here.
Just that much alone.
My today was a little more fun than yesterday.
(Chapter 22: “In the Dream‚ You Were Still Smiling” · End)
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